I Can't Give Up

My head was pounding, but I was alive. The last thing I remembered was the explosion. I pushed every last ounce of mana I had into a defensive shield. Thank goodness Akiko taught me how to use Aegis, because regular earth mana wouldn’t have saved me.

…Wait. Akiko!

My eyes shot open and I lurched upright, too fast. The room blurred, and for a second I thought I was back in the fight. But no… this was the same room where Akiko and I ended up after knocking each other out. Except she wasn’t here.

Shit shit shit.

I tried to stand, but my legs gave out immediately and I collapsed to the floor with a loud thud. Pain shot through every inch of my body like I’d been set on fire, yet at the same time I felt freezing and hollow, like I was dying from the inside out. But that didn’t matter. I had to find her.

Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the bedframe and hauled myself up, stumbling toward the door. Just as I reached for the handle, it swung open on its own and slammed into me, knocking me flat on my ass.

Gareth stood in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. “Look who’s awake.”

“I don’t have time for this, Gareth. I need to find her.”

“You need to get back to bed and recover.”

“No, get out of the way.”

“Don’t be so stubborn, boy.”

“Get out of my way or I’ll make you.”

“In the condition you’re in right now?” He leaned closer with a smirk. “I’d like to see you try.”

Without thinking, I swung my fist at him. He was able to effortlessly block it. “Is that all you got?”

I channeled mana into my hand, ready to fire Ryu straight into his smug face—but the magic sputtered out before I could release it.

My attack, was this Akiko’s ability. No, it felt different.

“What’re you guys doing?!” That voice, it was Akiko’s. She marched into the room with fire in her eyes. “He finally wakes up and you pick a fight with him? Gareth, what’s wrong with you?”

“He picked a fight with me.”

“Don’t be so childish, sir.”

Gareth sighed. “As you can see, she’s fine. Now get back to bed.”

Relief hit me so hard my knees buckled. I fell again, barely aware of it before Gareth lifted me and tossed me back onto the mattress like a sack of potatoes.

“The explosion… it carried some strange mana,” Akiko said, placing a hand on my chest. Her voice softened, but her expression grew serious. “It’s still lingering within you. Let me try to dispel it.” She closed her eyes, brows furrowing with intense focus. I’d never seen her so serious. “This magic…” she muttered. “I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s eating away at your life force like a parasite. I’m trying to dispel it, but it’s resisting me. What kind of mana is this?”

“Yakusei,” Gareth said, tone sharp. “Describe what you’re feeling right now.”

“It’s like my body’s being drained dry. My limbs are weak, my head’s pounding, and my life force… it feels a lot weaker than it should.”

Gareth’s eyes narrowed. “That explains why Akiko can’t dispel it. It’s not a spell. It’s the mana itself. The ‘parasite’ inside you is negative mana. You may be unfamiliar with this type of mana, so manipulating it would be rather difficult.”

“Negative mana…” Akiko whispered. “I thought only Vael—the head of the academy could use that.”

“It seems like that isn’t the case anymore.” Gareth looked back at me. “Yakusei. Tell me everything that transpired last night.”

I did. The fight. The abilities they used. How one of them absorbed the other two. I didn’t leave out a single detail.

“This is bad,” Gareth muttered. “They’ve finally decided to make a move.” His tone was serious, fearful even. But he didn’t look confused; he knew something that we didn’t

“Who decided to make a move?!” I demanded..

“The Demon Worshippers,” he said, though his eyes flicked away.

“…Who?”

“They’re a faction that rejects the Celebrated Generation. Instead of opposing the Demon King, they’ve chosen to side with him, to protect themselves.” Gareth folded his arms. “Yakusei… about the upcoming battle. I want you to resign.”

“What? How does that relate to our situation?”

“More than you could ever know.”

“You need to be a little more specific before I can even consider it.”

“If you don’t officially work for this nation, I can’t ensure your safety. You’re a good kid. A friend of Akiko’s. I don’t want them getting to you.”

“I can’t. I promised my parents I’d return to them. And to do that, I need you to protect them. No matter what.” The vision of them flashed through my mind. If anything happened to them because I backed down…

“This isn’t about them, this—”

“I said no already.”

“You won’t win,” Gareth said with a clenched fist.. “Just accept defeat.”

“What?”

“At your current level, you don’t stand a chance against me. Please… concede.”

“You don’t know how much we’ve been training!” Akiko cut in. “He’s a lot stronger now. Have a little faith!”

“This isn’t about that right now, Akiko. Just give up so I can ensure both of your safety. Look what happened today, who knows what they might try next.”

“How does that relate to me working for you?”

“I can’t protect you unless you do, so please just resign!”

“Why not?”

“I—I can’t, you just have to trust me. Please.” He sounded desperate, as if he were begging for food. But it didn’t make sense; he should be able to protect us no matter the situation, even if we aren’t under the nation’s control.

“I won’t,” I said. “You haven’t given me anything worth trusting, and besides, I know I can beat you.”

“Stop being so damn stubborn, this isn’t the time for senseless pride.”

Thinking about his offer, it would be nice to have someone to work with, especially if it ensures our safety. But is it worth giving my freedom away for safety? I wasn't entirely sure. But the only thing I was sure of was that I was given a whole new life, and I want to live it to the fullest.

“I know it’s not, but my life, I want to live it after the battle with the Demon King. I don’t want to be a slave to this nation, I want to—”

“You fool!” he stood up and roared. “You haven’t the slightest clue what is happening!”

“Then tell me!”

He didn’t answer right away; he only sat down in defeat. As if he’d just lost everything he cared for. “I–I can’t…”

“Then how do you expect me to go along with it when you can’t even be honest with me? Especially after tricking me into making that contract!”

“You agreed of your own will, and I only did it to protect you.”

“You never told me how dangerous those contracts were. And making me work for the nation, how is that protecting me!”

Gareth paused. His jaw tightened. “…I apologize. But I just need you to trust me this time. Resign. Work for the nation.”

“Why are you so adamant that I work for the nation?”

“Because it will ensure the safety of both of you. Please just listen to me.”

“I’m sorry, but I won’t."

…

“You stubborn fool.” He turned and headed for the door. “If you won’t listen, I’ll beat you into submission.” He stopped at the doorway. “Akiko. Watch him. The negative mana may be unstable. I’m trusting you to handle it.”

“Y-yes, sir.”

“And please, talk some sense into him.”

The door slammed hard behind him, shaking the room. It was strange that he was so desperate to get me to concede. I let out a slow breath, staring at the ceiling.

Was he really that desperate to make me concede? Did he really think I was that weak? Well. To be fair, we did almost die last night.

I glanced over at Akiko. She was staring at the ground, looking tense.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I couldn’t dispel the mana inside you. And now you’re suffering because of it.”

“Don’t worry about that… I’m the one who should apologize. I let my guard down. I won’t let that happen again.”

“Don’t apologize. I thought we’d won too. I never should’ve let down my guard either.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just… looked at her. Still in disbelief that she was actually alive.

She blinked. “What? Is something wrong?”

“No. It’s just… the last thing I remember was your stomach being impaled. How are you even alive right now?”

“Oh. I, uh… took a page from your book.” She shrugged casually. “I converted my malif into nature energy and healed myself.”

“What, you’re able to do that?!”

“Crazy, right? I didn’t even know I could do that until I tried. It was my last option, so I just… went for it. Worked out in the end.”

“‘Worked out’ is one hell of an understatement…”

After a few hours of resting, someone burst through the door.

“Yakuseeeeeiii!” Haruki screamed. “Dude, I heard you got attacked. Are you hurt? Are you going to die? Don’t die on us.”

I chucked a bit, “I’m fine… or a little better.”

“So what happened to both of you?” Tsubaki walked in.

I explained to her the details of the fight just as I did to Gareth.

“There’s so much more I want to tell you guys, too, just not right now.”

“What is it relating to?” Tsubaki asked.

“Everything you wanted to know from last time.”

“We can meet back up at your place and talk, for now, just get some rest.”

“Okay.”

As I lay there resting, I noticed that Akiko seemed focused on something. Her mana is condensing; it seems like even now, she is focusing on training. Even while looking out for me. I can’t let her get too ahead of me now. I focused on my mana as well, but something felt different about it; it felt like my control of it was slipping. Then it all suddenly released, sending out a shockwave, destroying all the beds nearby, and sending Akiko back.

“Yakusei! What was that?!”

“I-I don’t know.” I stood up from the wreckage. My body felt… different. Stronger. My mana lighter. My movements are smoother. I pointed a finger out the window and tried to blast something, just to test it. Energy built up, then vanished. “What the hell?” I mumbled.

“What were you trying to do?” Akiko asked cautiously.

“My mana feels different. I tried firing off a blast, but something canceled it out. It’s like my body’s adding extra mana, but it nullifies everything I use.”

As I focused more mana into my body, Akiko suddenly screamed.

“You’re glowing.”

“What?”

Looking down at my hands, I noticed purple streaks coursing through my skin. Just like the ones from the enemies we fought.

“Holy shit, I’m boutta blow!”

“Do NOT say that! I can nullify it!”

She pressed her hand on me and activated her ability.

…

“You’re only getting brighter,” she said in a panic.

“GET AWAY FROM ME, I’M GOING TO EXPLODE!”

“No, I can do this.”

“Holy shit holy shit holy shit—”

“Hold it in Yakusei.”

The door slammed open. A nurse stormed in, horrified. “What in the world is happening here!?”

“Ma’am, he’s glowing.”

The nurse looked me up and down with a deadpan expression. “What does that mean?”

“He’s literally glowing, look at him!”

She squinted at me. Then frowned. “If he’s glowing, then I’m shining!”

“W-what?” Akiko slowly turned. “You’re not glowing anymore.”

I looked down at my hands and saw that all the purple streaks were gone.

“You kids need to stop messing around, causing all of this destruction.”

We apologized and left before she could throw something at us. As we walked back to my dorm, I realized something: my body really had changed. I felt lighter and stronger. Even more than before. It was like I was slowly regaining all my strength, no, not just that. I was getting stronger than I was before. My senses felt sharper. The world around me felt… slower.

“Are you feeling any better?” Akiko asked.

“Yeah. A lot better. Honestly… I think I got stronger.”

“Stronger?”

“Yeah, it’s so weird.”

“What about your mana?”

I focused a blast.

Nothing.

“I still can’t shoot anything out.”

“Do you think that the negative mana caused all of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“It would make sense if negative mana canceled out normal mana. But… mana is life force, right? If negative mana is the opposite, shouldn’t it be killing you?” She leaned closer to me as if she was observing something, “Do you feel like you’re dying?”

“Well, I did feel like I was dying earlier.”

“And you just suddenly got better?”

“Not suddenly, but gradually. As time went on, I felt my body regaining its strength. Only recently, I felt a little stronger.”

“Do you think that your body was adapting to the negative mana?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think it was just my body. My life force too.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It feels like my life force is in overdrive, producing far more mana than usual. Like when I tap into malif.”

She paused, thinking. “That’s probably why you’re not dying right now.”

“Huh?”

“Your life force is producing more mana to cancel out the negative mana.”

“That… makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“Well, that’s just my theory on it. We don’t know for sure yet, though.”

“I’m grateful that my body can adapt like this, but I still can’t fire out any attacks. At this rate, I’ll lose to Gareth.”

“What about enhancing yourself with mana?”

“I can still do that, but releasing it is a whole nother problem.”

“Hm…”

We brainstormed on the walk back. Nothing worked. We just decided to figure it out while training tomorrow. By the time we reached my dorm, Tsubaki and Haruki were on the couch chatting.

“Sorry if it took us a while to get here,” I said.

Haruki waved. “You were basically dying, so I forgive you.”

“Are you feeling any better?” Tsubaki asked.

“Yeah, a lot better actually.”

“That’s good. Good job on not dying.” Haruki gave a thumbs-up. “So. What was it you wanted to tell us?”

I looked at all of them with intensity. Even though I knew I could trust them, I still hesitated. But this isn’t the time to hesitate; they’re my friends and I need to warn them of this danger.

“Everything.”