Among Ashes and Whispers

Chapter 44 — Among Ashes and Whispers
Dawn found the castle shrouded in silence. Smoke rose in gray columns, covering the sky like a funerary cloak. The walls were cracked, several towers had collapsed, and the inner courtyard was filled with the wounded and bodies wrapped in blankets.
I walked among them, the Veil Spear on my back, feeling the weight of every gaze. Some soldiers thanked me; others looked at me with fear. I couldn’t blame them. They had seen how my power nearly overflowed during the battle.
Aria stayed by my side, holding my arm as if she feared I might crumble at any moment. Her face was tired, shadowed by dark circles, yet her eyes still shone with that unwavering faith that both pained and saved me.
“They’re alive because of you,” she whispered.
I shook my head. “They’re alive because everyone fought. If it weren’t for Rei, Nara, Lysbeth, and you… the dragon would have destroyed everything.”
She squeezed my hand. “And if it weren’t for you, none of us would still be here.”
The voice inside me laughed softly, mocking. “Yes… let them think that. But you know well it was thanks to me. The spear alone could never have sufficed.”
I closed my eyes, trying to silence the echo.

In the great throne room, Cicilia gathered the captains. Her firm voice cut through the tense air.
“We survived, but barely. The walls are damaged, and the men are exhausted. If Kiseki launches another attack in the coming days, we won’t withstand it.”
Rei leaned on the table, her face hard. “Then we need to think of more than just surviving. We need a plan to strike first.”
Lysbeth looked at her severely. “A counterattack without preparation would be suicide.”
Nara, slouched in a chair, chimed in sarcastically. “And what do you suggest? Sit and wait for Kiseki to come finish us off?”
The discussion escalated, voices raised, accusations flying. I stayed silent, the spear leaning against the wall. No matter what strategy was proposed, deep down we all knew Kiseki was playing us.
Finally, Cicilia slammed her fist on the table. “Enough! We won’t solve anything by arguing. Rest, heal the wounded. We’ll meet again tonight.”

Later, in the gardens blackened by fire, I found Rei sharpening her sword. She looked at me without lifting her head.
“You can’t keep hiding it,” she said softly but firmly. “The shadow inside you is growing.”
“I know,” I replied bitterly.
“If the day comes when you can’t control it…” She looked me directly in the eyes. “I’ll be the one to stop you.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Part of me wanted to challenge her, but another part understood she meant it—and would act if necessary.
Aria appeared at that moment, stepping between us. “Don’t speak as if it’s inevitable. Kaoru will resist. I will be with him.”
Rei sighed, sheathing her sword. “I hope you’re right. But I won’t gamble everyone’s fate on an empty promise.”
She walked away, leaving us in silence.
Aria gripped my hand tightly. “Don’t listen to him. You’re not a monster.”
I smiled weakly. “Then tell me, why do I feel like I lose a little more of myself each day?”
She didn’t answer. She only held me, as if that gesture could halt the darkness consuming me.

That night, I found myself alone in my room. The castle slept, exhausted, but I could not. The voice returned, clearer than ever.
“See? They don’t trust you. Only she still defends you… but even she will fear what you carry inside. In the end, you won’t be able to save them both. Neither Aria… nor Kiseki.”
I brought my hands to my head, desperate. “Enough!”
A dark flash swept across the room, making the walls tremble. The air grew heavy, and for a moment I swore I saw my reflection in the window… with red eyes that were not mine.
I breathed heavily, clenching my fists. I could not surrender. I could not let that voice take control.
I struck the wall forcefully and muttered, “No matter what you say. I will not lose Aria. And I will not lose Kiseki either.”
The echo responded with a cruel laugh, as if it already knew the story’s ending.