Chapter 35:
I Found my Pathetic Self Transported to Another World after Having my First Love Confession Rejected. Will I be Able to Find the Life I Want to Have here??
“Ah, nothing beats the good old hot bath and cold beer combo…there is nothing better that could make it better… well maybe if the companion to share the experience with was a bit more… of the feminine kind.”, rejoiced Caleb and took a swig of beer while soaking in the hot water.
“Sorry, that I’m not feminine enough for you…”, said Alex, doing the same next to him.
“Don’t be… there are too many women in my life anyway, so I’m glad I can count you as one of my few guy friends.”
“Must be nice…”
“What?”
“To have so many women in your life, that you can complain about it…”
“You don’t need many for that… one’s usually enough to get to that part…”
“I trust in your experience.”
Both drank from their beer.
“Can I ask you something a bit personal?”, asked Caleb after a while.
“If not now, when then? Were both naked already anyway…”
“Well it’s not that question… unless…”
“No…”
“Thought so…”
“What is your original question?”
“The reason you get the urge to punch me in the face is because you’re jealous of me, right?”
“…Yes.”
Both took a sip again.
“And it’s because I…”, continued Caleb.
“…Yes.”
“And it’s not because in general rather… someone specific… right?”
“…Yes.”
“Well, that only happened once…”
“Twice…”
“Ah, yeah… twice… Ehm… Listen Alex… there is absolutely nothing between me and Violet anymore… well in that regard… I like to believe that we are good friends, even if she would vehemently deny it and hurl a fireball at me for just saying it… but yeah… there is really nothing more there. What once… twice… happened is in the past, will never happen again.”
“I know…”
“Good… huh? Wait you know? Then why are you jealous?”
Alex looked over. Caleb wasn’t sure if what he saw on his face was a tear or just water from the bath.
“I don’t know… I don’t know why I feel that way… I don’t understand… and it’s not just that feeling I don’t understand…”, said Alex slowly.
“Ah… Sometimes there are feelings that you don’t understand... I understand that at least…”
“You understand that you don’t understand? How does that work?”
“That part I don’t understand.”
Both chuckled and drank from their beer again.
“What is love anyway?”, asked Caleb after a while.
“Now comes the deep questions, huh?”
“Well what better time than now? Since we’re naked already!”
“True… Well… I don’t really know… I’ve only ever been in love once… twice…”
“Look at that… you got me beat… I’m stuck at once…”
“Really?”
“Really… So out with it… what do you think is love?”
“Hm… well for me it’s a combination of a lot of things in just the right amount… It’s wanting to be with someone… thinking about someone… wondering what they are doing… being genuinely interested in someone and wanting to know all about them. Wanting to be part of their live and wanting for them to be part of yours… Wanting to share your happiness and joy with them and increasing it… Wanting to share their worries and struggles and lessening them… Believing in them, even if they don’t do it themselves. Being there for someone as support or to just be there… Being able to live together and side by side… and a lot more…”
“That… yeah… checks kinda out…but what about the feeling of love… how does it feel for you?”
“The feeling of love? Hm… I don’t know… warm?... well… for me at least… It’s just… I don’t… being happy just to be around them… It’s like the world gets more colorful when you’re with someone that you love… small insignificant things that happens between you suddenly mean much more to you and they get stuck in your brain. You get more talkative… I do at least… I just talk, hoping to say anything they might be interested in or to make me sound more interesting… Sometimes I even talk without thinking and then kick myself afterwards because I said something really stupid or inappropriate… Yeah… I don’t know… You just start doing things for the one you love that you normally would not do, or that you would do for nobody else… and even if you deep down hope that you get something out of it… to get something back… you would still do it, just because it’s them… even if you suspect that there is nothing they can give you back… Even if they tell you and you know that there will be nothing they ever can give you back… you still do these things… Well that part is still in the figuring-out-phase… but at least I think that is what it is for me… and more, that I can’t put into words…”
“Huh… In that part we seem to be complete opposites… thanks for the explanation.”
“Don’t take my word for it… I’m just some naked dude sitting in a bath next to another naked dude, drinking beer and talking about his feelings…”
“Now that’s what I would call love!”
“Yeah… Two very wise man back in my world once said… or rather sung about it… It’s guy love… between two guys.”
“Cheers to that.”
“Cheers!”
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