Lost in Transmigration

A feeling of persistent unrest swarmed me.

There was darkness, everywhere I looked.

Before me there was a subtle hint of light permeating the dark. Looking to my feet, only my body contrasted the darkness. I couldn’t really recall what had happened.

As I stared out into the quiet darkness, an echo of my own voice repeated my name. Squinting into the eerie darkness, my eyes zeroed in on the glimmer that had been out in the distance.

Like a wave of water that fell from the sky, a deep blue shined out before me. The more I squinted into the darkness, a figure started to develop. It appeared to be a woman’s back towards me.

Suddenly, a big line of light appeared above, moving towards me. Then it shifted, only to turn into a big frame of colors and light cutting through the thick darkness.

I suddenly felt the weight of my feet underneath me. I quickly shuffled them side to side to make sure I had balance. Strong vertigo flooded me and numbed my tongue as my vision became blinded with lights.

I looked up and caught a view of one of the big bright squares. It wasn’t just a square of colors and light but rather a large picture. Yet not quite, as the picture was moving like a huge memory floating in front of me. Before I could grasp onto what was going on, I saw another streak of light followed by a nauseating handful right behind it.

For a second my brain was tricking me into thinking I was starting to wake up, but before I could entertain the thought, the moving squares sparked a line of flame in my mind. Flashes of memories filled my head up like air pressure inside a balloon.

“Ah-!” My hands shot up to the sides of my head, clutching whatever comfort I could squeeze there. Memories of a strong perfume violated my senses, intensifying my nausea. Before I could regain the rage I could faintly remember, the figure before me turned around. She was beautiful, adorned with vintage clothing. Dark blue hair framed her figure while a pair of intense amber eyes looked back at me. The panic and fear swirled within me.

I took a step forward to get closer to her. Echoes of my steps resounded around me. Yet with each step I took forward, it seemed as if she was getting farther away.

I began hearing conversations and sounds from the moving frames flying around us. Chills raced across my skin.

“I’m tired of this… all of it!”

(Whoa… who was that?)

As I turned, I heard a voice.

“He’s the only one who sees me for who I am… I need him to be mine…”

In one of the moving squares, the woman who was in front of me was also inside the floating frame, crouching down with her head in her knees. It was as if she was in distress. But there was something about her voice that I couldn’t quite place because it felt-

“I need to get her out of the picture.”

(It was my voice…)

Dread creeped into me. I looked up at that moment, only to feel my heart lurch into my throat. The chills scattered to my scalp at the sight of the woman inside a giant square staring down at me with the same amber eyes.

Shaking off the fear and shock, I looked toward the figure. She was simply standing there looking back at me from a distance. I began to walk closer. Feeling like my legs were caught in mud, I looked down to see an old-fashioned dress, the same as the woman in front of me. My hands were not my own. Looked up, my heart stopped at the sight of the woman standing just two inches away from me. She was so close I could feel her breath.

“W-What?...”

My throat began to close up as I tried to speak. Once again I felt that weakness in my knees.

The flying scenes had now diminished and all that was left was us in the vast darkness.

(Dammit… w-what’s going on here? Have I finally lost my mind?)

“Aleynah…”

(My voice...)

The name she muttered was said with my own voice but from out of her mouth. My heart continued its erratic beating as panic surged through me. I contemplated screaming out but the pressure at the back of my throat prevented me from doing so.

“We need to eliminate her Aleynah…”

I felt my own lips move as my voice aligned with her mouth.

(What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sleep paralysis demon?!)

Then, a single tear shed from her inner eye. She looked at me with such defeat. My own chest was constricted. I tried to lift my hand in some kind of attempt to relieve myself of the feeling but I couldn’t move.

“It’s the only way to be happy… isn’t it?”

Once more, both of our lips moved to the sound of my voice. I wanted to shake my head and tell her that I was sorry. Sorry for whatever she was feeling and whatever was going on, but my body grew weaker by the second.

All at once my eyes began to water as pressure pushed into my temples.

“Whatever it takes, I will be happy… So please, make my dreams come true…”

I couldn’t hold on any longer and the darkness took over my vision as my hand shot out towards her.

...

“-mmmmth-r p----e -Im do—”

In the dark far corners of my mind I heard muffled voices. My body was too heavy to budge and I had no motivation to do so. Millions of thoughts ran through my mind, creating a tension no squinting could relieve.

(Just where am I? Is that Oliver and Chelsea?)

But the more I struggled to catch on to the sound of the voices, the harder it became to distinguish their words or whether it was them at all.

“—‘ll be fine?!”

In that obscure dream that I couldn’t quite detach myself from, I felt other movements come into my personal space. Somewhat aware that I wasn’t alone anymore and with the fogginess of sleep beginning to fade away, I pushed my stubborn weight to move.

As I did, I swallowed in an attempt to regain my voice but the wave of saliva ripped into the dryness of my throat breaking me into a fit of coughs.

“Aleynah?! Quick bring me water!”

(Aleynah?...)

An acute wave of nausea ran through me, lurching me forward as I tried to prevent the unwanted action. My eyes hadn’t opened up completely, they were still trying to regain the comfort of the light.

“Mother, give her this.”

The voices I kept hearing near me weren’t any I could distinguish. Confused, I began to force my eyes open only to have them shrivel back down from the brightness of the room.

“Jesus, why is it so bright in here?” I croaked out my discomfort. Then, a soft hand grabbed my arm while another braced my lower back. In between the opening slits of my eyes, I caught sight of a blurry and adorned hand.

(Who-)

As a sudden realization dawned on me, a group of voices jumbled together all at once. All the noise exacerbated the nausea that pooled in the pit of my stomach.

“Aleynah, can you hear us? How do you feel?” 

Once my vision cleared, an elegant woman eerily similar to the woman in my dream stared back with pink hues. Her hand circled around mine, holding me there with care.

“Yes sister, don’t overdo it. Just stay still.” A beautiful blonde looked towards me with concern. Next to her was a duplicate of herself, save for the eyes.

“My goodness Aleynah, we’re all here with you. My dear child, how are you feeling?” Whiplash almost got the best of me as I turned to the owner of another voice. Black hair crowned a woman’s pale face as ruby eyes stood out. And all around, a setting so foreign to me.

“Aleynah, sweet, it’s okay. Your sisters and I are all here.”

The soft and thin hand that had gripped me, now captured my hand in both as she tried to comfort me with an idea alien to my logic. Victorian attire adorned each body I looked at. I couldn’t help but to stare intently at the woman holding my hand.

(W-Who is this?…)

Fully conscious now, my eyes took notice of other things around the room. The room was bathed in gold. Golden accents lined its white walls in what I can only compare to a historical museum.

But I didn’t know the people who surrounded me. And what really stood out in my confusion was their insane beauty. They were almost uncanny in a fantastical kind of way.

There were even three maids with old-fashioned outfits that looked like they came out of a period drama.

Distress was beginning to enter my body the moment I realized I was not in my bedroom, nor was I surrounded by anyone I knew.

(Had I been kidnapped? But… what kind of people or how or wha-)

In between the hard beating of my heart and the ringing in my ears, words that would cause chaos finally left my mouth.

“W-Who are you people?”

A long pause followed. Intent stares ensued.

They all looked as if they were staring at a ghost. My own disbelief and confusion reflecting off of their faces.

The older lady whose soft hands that had been holding mine made a sound close to a sob.

“Aleynah… what do you mean sweety?… It’s me… your mother.”

The moment she voiced the word ‘mother’, my heart dropped. Its rapid beating like a ticking time bomb. The nausea that I had managed to keep down early now lurched violently into my throat assaulting any other senses.

Panic took control of me.

“What?! What are you talking about?! You’re not my mother, just what or who- or how did you people-“ In my state of distress my, what I suppose, eyes were caught in a full sized mirror across from the room. In that reflection was what looked like the same woman from my dream, laying in bed and eerily following my same moves.

(What… what the hell?)

Voices began to erupt from around me like a tower of fear building up within me.

“Sis?” Both blonde women stared at me.

“Sister, what are you saying? We’re your family…”

“Aleynah.. do you.. do you not remember us?” Rosy eyes glistened back at me with a look of desperation.

I looked at everyone in the room and tears that I didn’t know were forming had begun to pour out from my eyes.

The other woman with dark hair and ruby eyes had creased her beautiful face at me in worry. She came closer to reach out to me, or this person I was, in some kind of comfort.

But that was just it. I didn’t want to be comforted.

As I looked back at the mirror, I leapt up from the bed and ran to it.

Alerted voices shot out and the maids from before tried to reach out. But I wasn’t having any of it. Pushing their hands away, I gripped onto the mirror as I looked into it.

The woman in the mirror looked nothing like me and everything like the woman in my dream. However, her mannerisms and facial features were matching my own movements. A white band seemed to wrap around her head. Before I could even fathom or entertain the thought, I looked back at the people in the mirror.

They looked so real and as I looked at the reflection before me all I could do was yell out in terror.

“Ahhhhhh! What the hell is this?! Th-This isn’t me!”

I fully turned around and went into panic mode.

“Just who are you damn people?! Why did you bring me here?! W-Where am I?!”

The lady and two blonde twins who had been comforting me jumped up with worry etched on their faces.

“Aleynah darling, please don’t say that.” 

The lady who looked similar to the woman in the mirror put her hands out towards me, like someone who was trying to calm a feral animal.

“Sis… how can you not remember us?”

“Oh my, this is not good. Ladies, go and get Maksim!.” As the dark-haired woman ordered it from one of the maids, a stab of pain shot through my head.

“Ah!” Wincing, my eyes closed in retaliation.

Movement from all sides began to make their way towards me.

“Aleynah!” Voices shouted in unison.

But it did me no good to calm my panic, because whoever’s name they were calling was not my own. I raised my hands up with a motion to stop them from coming any closer.

“No! Stay back! No. This is not happening. I don’t know who you people are and my name isn’t Aleynah, it’s Adelaide. At least… that’s MY name.” I pointed at the mirror in an attempt to keep my sanity in check.

“This, whoever this person is in the mirror is NOT me. I don’t know what is going on, but it’s not me!” Once again their concerned and shocked stares stayed on me until the lady who looked similar to the body I was inhabiting, rolled her eyes to the back of her head and fell in the arms of the two blonde girls.

“Mother!” The blondes shouted in unison. Quickly, the other maids began to tend to her while the other lady carried out orders.

(This is crazy! What the hell is this?! I need to get out of here NOW!)

My vision blurred with the flurry of action around me. I noticed a door cracked open just enough. My feet automatically picked up speed. I ran pushing a maid aside as she yelped. My goal was in sight and taking my shot, I managed to make it past everyone. No turning back, I pushed my way out.

But no sooner did I step foot outside that a tall figure stopped me. With the instinct to flee, I struggled in their capture. But as I tried to have them let go, a man’s voice boomed above me.

“Aleynah!” A tall man with striking ruby eyes and pale lashes stared down at me in wonder.

I wasn’t sure if it was how striking his beauty was or the adrenaline crashing into me all at once, but it felt like he literally stole my breath away.

“Maksim! Don’t let her get away!” The voice of the dark-haired lady yelled out.

In the corner of my mind I could see shuffling of movement getting closer. Before I could stay mesmerized, my flight response kicked into overdrive and taking advantage of the brief distraction, my foot kicked hard into the man’s shin.

“Ahh!” He yelped out in pain as his hold on me faulted.

Shoving his arms away I went around and ran out into the endless hallway. Afraid of losing speed or direction, my feet pounded against the floor.

(This is straight out of a period drama. If only I wasn’t running for my life I would probably entertain the idea of sightseeing. Wait. No! I can’t get distracted, I need to wake up from this! This is not real!)

“Aleynah! Please! Stop!”

“Aleynah, you’re going to hurt yourself!”

A mixture of voices reached my ears.

(The hell are they calling for?! I’m not Aleynah! This is some fever dream that’s going on for far too long. Oh no, what do I do?!)

Carpet burning through my feet, I saw a double door up ahead and felt my breathing become more and more labored with each step I forced. Some maids and what looked like butlers were being ordered to catch me but I was faster than lighting at this point.

Upon reached the doors, I burst through them expecting to see some kind of open field. Instead it was another room, this time with three men standing around. My breath hitched at the dead end as they all stared at me only to repeat the damn name that was beginning to sound more like a curse.

“Aleynah, darling you are awake!”

One of the two older looking men in the room almost made me get déjà vu. He looked similar to one of the blonde twins that was in the previous room with me.

(Shoot, is this it?!.)

The other two men looked almost completely different. If it weren’t for their intense eyes, I wouldn’t have made a connection from the complete contrast of their hair. Regardless, the shock in their eyes solidified a fact for me. But before I could ruminate on it, a butler grabbed my arm while a maid held onto the other.

“Why are you two restraining her like that?” The blonde man’s voice boomed at the servants trying to hold me down.

“What’s going on?” The other older man also tried to get closer. Panic once again took hold of my instinct. Especially now that everyone was beginning to catch up.

“Sir-” Another voice cut off the butler before he could manage to say anything.

“Darling! Please grab Aleynah, she's not well!” The same dark-haired woman shouted out towards us.

(Dammit, I gotta find a way out.)

This wasn’t a dream, this was becoming a full blown nightmare. The kind where I had no will or control, it wasn’t funny anymore. My doubts were starting to form about whether I had woken up in some kind of past life.

“Let me go!” 

A surge of strength entered my body like warm water, and miraculously I was able to throw their grasps off of me. I dodged every furniture and body to keep making my way out towards a back door I had peeked from behind the man with dark hair. Our eyes connected but before anyone could reach me, I scurried away towards the back door.

“Aleynah!”

Once again, a chaos of voices yelled out behind me and I managed to find some sort of kitchen where another door could be seen.

(Oh please god let it be an exit! Let it take me to my apartment where I wake up and this is all just a dream!)

Pushing my way through cooks and maids, I busted the door down easily enough. Instead of finding my small apartment though, the door gave way to a vast open and green garden.

“No…”

A raging fire ripped through my lungs as my heart dropped to my sore feet.

“Aleynah, stop!”

Briefly looking back, I saw male figures run towards me. Not taking too long to see if they could catch me, I bolted out into the maze of the garden.

“Please… how long do I need to run?” 

Hitching up the long gown I had only noticed then I was wearing, I ran barefoot through rough ground and dewy grass. I made out some kind of guards coming towards me from the right of my direction.

(Holy crap, just where am I? The royal palace?!)

“Miss, please stop!”

“No! Leave me alone, all of you!”

My feet were stepping on rocks and all kinds of twigs. Pain shot with each step but I was too scared to stop. Soon enough I heard horse hoofs rushing around me. On the other side of my path, a voice yelled out. I was able to distinguish it from one of the men in the room that I barged into.

“Aleynah, stop! Where are you going?!”

The panic and frustration I had been feeling was like a tight ball weighing in my chest. I was on the edge of bursting into tears. All I wanted to do was scream it all out.

“Will you people just let me go?! I’m not Aleynah! I don’t know who you are nor where I am, just leave me alone!” 

In that second, my toe faulted in my step and folded, propelling me to then twist my ankle and fall onto the floor.

“Ack!”

“Aleynah!”

“Halt!”

Strange and unknown voices surrounded me. All I could do was shrink into my body. This dream had gone on too long and my desperation to wake up was catching up with my sanity. My mind had come undone, the only thing left to do was cry.

(What is going on? Please… I don’t want to be here anymore, just let me wake up.)

Footsteps began to close in on me, tightening the weight around my chest.

“Aleynah, are you alright?”

(This voice…)

I shook my head into the rough ground.

“No… No, I'm not alright. I’m not Aleynah.” I looked up to stare at him with determination but the tears decorating my face most likely showed my defeat instead.

“Aleynah…”

“No, stop it! I’m not Aleynah dammit! And this isn’t where I belong! Just who are you people?!” 

The white-haired man had a look of defeat himself. Finally for the first time since I had woken up, I was able to feel some form of comfort in that moment of exasperation. He approached me slowly as if I was a feral animal. Which, in that moment, with the quick rate my heart was beating and the adrenaline prepping me to throw a punch, it wasn’t so far off.

Cautiously, he crouched down to me.

“Aleynah… it’s me, Maksim. We grew up together. We were- are best friends... You’re here at your family’s estate. Your mother, sisters and father are all here. Do you really not remember?” His soft voice was laced with such a beautiful tone.

It was able to soothe me enough to breathe in. But not by a lot. These people were seeing and thinking I was somebody I wasn’t. I was literally in another person’s body. A person I had no knowledge of. To answer his question the fastest way possible, I simply shook my head.

“You all think I’m Aleynah but I’m not. I-… I don’t know any of you.”

If his eyes could open any wider, they would probably disappear into his skull. The poor man looked distraught.

“Maksim, Aleynah, are you both okay?”

Behind him I saw the other young man who was in the last room I invaded.

Maksim, the white-haired man's eyes never left mine.

Along with the dark haired man with silver eyes, came the other older men. He however was simply staring me down as if inspecting me. I could only shake my head again.

“Please… whatever this is, please let me go.”

“Aleynah you are not well.” Finally the man with silver eyes spoke. His voice, more commanding than comforting.

“It’s not safe for you to be running around barefoot in your state. Especially not after your… accident.”

“Seryez.”

Maksim called out a name while looking towards the intimidating man.

“N-No wait-”

Before I could correct him, Maksim softly shook his head in a sign of defeat and reached out to me.

“Aleynah you need to stop…”

“Maksim-” Before the silver-eyed man could finish, Maksim interrupted him.

“Seryez, go and make sure Madame Natalya is alright. I’ll take Aleynah back to her room.”

“But Nadya-”

“Nadya will understand. Go help mother. Madame Natalya fell unconscious so mother is probably tending to her.”

With that he didn’t wait for the other man's response. All I saw instead was a look of disbelief from the man.

I began to fidget in my captor's arms, at this point my entire face was a diagram of the five stages of grief.

“U-Um… I can walk…”

Maksim simply shook his head at me.

“It’s the least I can do.”