Song 29

Lying in bed but wide awake, Meloria listened to the light footsteps that wandered the hall outside her bedroom. All night, her head had raved with possibilities and unspeakable things that may occur while Lucan was on that boat. Sitting up, Meloria pulled back the curtain. It was still dark outside, with not even a hint of sunrise, and Fischer was already taking Lucan out? Although she knew nothing about fishing, would it not be better to set out when the sun was rising? Why was Fischer taking her little brother out so early?

“I can’t wait to go,” Meloria could hear Lucan’s hushed whispers from the other side of her door. Curious, she got up, tiptoeing to the door, not wanting to cause any alert, and gently pressed her ear against the door. “What’s it like? Being on the ocean?”

“Well,” Fischer chuckled lowly, Meloria hearing his fumbling with some equipment. “The water can be a cruel mistress, but if you listen to her, you’ll hear her gentle hum as she rocks the boat back and forth, close your eyes, and you'll smell the salty air, and you’ll feel your body relax and become one with the waves.

“Wow,” Lucan smiled widely, helping to pack the provisions for today. “That sounds amazing. How did you get into finishing?”

Feeling guilty for listening in, Meloria turned, heading back to bed. The way Fischer spoke about the ocean was the same way she talked about singing; Fischer was trying to share that feeling with Lucan in a private matter, it wasn’t something for her to listen to.

Fischer smiled as he could see her shadow moving through the gap under the door frame. He looped the rope around his arm, making sure to secure it so as not to unravel before reaching the boat. “I have been a fisherman all my life,” he chuckled, turning to pull Lucan into a sideways hug, escorting him out of the hall and into the dining area. “Then one day I said, ‘Why don’t I try to cook the fish I catch?’ I couldn’t have been much older than you when I tried to prepare my first fish.”

“And I bet you got it right on the first try, huh?” Lucan laughed, picking up another one of the bags.

Lucan broke into a heart laugh. “Goodness no,” he smiled, heading towards the door. “I butchered that poor fish; it gave its life for me to have a feeble attempt at deboning a fish.”

“Somehow, I can’t imagine you failing,” Lucan laughed, as they left the inn and started to make their way to the dock.

“Oh, I failed plenty of times,” Fischer cringed, remembering the poorly prepared fish, the taste of raw fish, and the mouthful of bones.

“So why did you keep going?” Lucan asked.

“I hear women like a man who can cook,” Fischer winked, looking ahead and pointing to the boat ahead of them at the dock. Lucan smirked; if women like a man who can cook, then he had indeed chosen the right hobby to get into. “So tell me, why did you get into cooking?”

Lucan shrugged and smirked, thinking back to the day Meloria had her tantrum in the bathroom because her shirt did not fit her. “My sister stopped eating,” he answered with a sad smile. “And I knew if she stopped, our younger brothers might follow her lead and stop too.”

“And you made it your mission to make sure she was well fed?” Fischer finished Lucan’s sentence, with his free hand, ruffling his hair. “That’s quite the noble act for a younger brother, taking care of others all the time.”

Lucan nodded, but the words to respond escaped him. He had never really thought about the responsibilities he put onto himself, being the one to cook and prepare meals. Taking on the chore from Evelyn, who was then able to rediscover her love of sewing, so much so that she could open up her own boutique, earning additional money for the family. Meloria could focus on her training and becoming the idol she wanted to be. His little brothers never had to worry about taking on adult responsibilities, allowing them to concentrate on being kids. In the end, Lucan forgot about himself.

“Come on, kiddo,” Fischer kept a large smile on his face as he jumped aboard the boat. He turned with an outstretched hand. “Let me show you something you’ve never seen before.”

Back at the inn, the sun had finally risen, and Meloria dragged her feet towards the dining area where Kendra was already setting the table. “Good morning, sweetie,” she welcomed, wincing slightly as the baby kicked. Kendra looked down, giggling. “Someone’s feisty this morning.”

“Why don’t you sit?” Meloria insisted, pulling out a chair for Kendra, using her hand to gesture for Kendra to sit. Kendra mouthed a thank you as she took the seat, sighing heavily as the weight lifted from her feet. “I can handle things for you.”

“Oh dear,” Kendra smiled sadly, rubbing her stomach. “I’m a terrible host; my own guest is taking care of me instead.”

“My mama had four children after me,” Meloria laughed, grabbing the nearby rag and wiping down the tables. “All boys, no less, so I’m used to helping. It’s not anything I haven’t handled before.”

“My my,” Kendra chuckled. “Your mother certainly had her work cut out for her.”

“Yeah,” Meloria nodded, spraying some cleaner onto the table before giving it another wipe. “I would help get the little ones to bed, and Lucan would prepare the meals.”

“The two of you sound like you had a lot of responsibility growing up,” Kendra spoke softly, turning it into a hum as she closed her eyes.

Reflecting on it, Meloria and Lucan had always taken on significant responsibilities as children, mainly so that their parents could still have a dating life. Though while Meloria had her training with Jonny as an escape, Lucan had girls. A new girl on his arm every month, in between cooking and taking care of the younger boys. Her hands stopped, tears forming in the corner of her eyes, blurring her vision.

She realised it, Lucan hadn’t experienced any freedom. He was still relatively young when the twins were born, yet he was still expected to help care for them as he grew older. Feeling weak, Meloria pulled out a chair, quickly taking a seat. That’s why Lucan was so adamant about tagging along on her travels; it wasn't to escape the girl from school or to learn new recipes. It was to experience freedom. Oh, Lucan, I’m so sorry.