Ashes, Awake and Future

Chapter 25

Part 1 - Ashes

“Wow, doesn’t it look so good, Ara?” I tell my mother from across the table.

She smiles at me with her warmth. I'm patiently waiting for her to taste the fish that I caught for us. As she brings the white meat towards her mouth, my vision goes black.

Next thing I know I’m surrounded by our burning home, covered in sweat and rubble. I silently watch the pile of planks and stones. I see my mother’s hand sticking out from underneath it. No words come out. My voice is mute, nonexistent. Only the sound of burning is heard. Its volume increases, until it all disappears.

The thatch roof fills my vision. I feel the furry hide beneath me. I’m lying still with my eyes wide open. Rays of sunlight seep through small roof cracks; pollen and dust shine in the beams. Two heads peek in: Dima and Elda, tears filling their eyes. Their mouths bend in discontent, worried and scared.

“Iris…” Elda sniffles at me.

I look at her. I don’t understand how I ended up here. My whole body aches, feeling the cloth bandages wrapped around me.

“You idiot. How long were you going to stay asleep?” Dima asks me with worried, tear-filled eyes.

“Where am I?” I ask them in a broken, weak voice.

The tears start to fall from their eyes.

“Iris!” Elda yells as she embraces me, slamming her head against my chest.

“Unghh!” I wheeze as my broken ribs cracks.

“Ah! Sorry!” Elda frantically yells, lifting her head.

“What are you doing!?” Dima yells at her.

“Shut up! I didn’t mean to!” she bickers back.

I lie under the fighting siblings in pain, putting my hand on my bruised side.

It all comes back to me, the pain reminds me. The fighting, the powerful Mir, Erich, and the burning village. I force myself up, grunting from the pain. As I sit up, I see the hall around me. The Avi villagers sit with their loved ones. Tending to the wounded. Handing out food and water. Some of their faces are pale, staring into nothingness. Some of them sniffle as they embrace their families.

None of it matters to me right now. Only one thing comes to my mind.

“Iris, you have to lie down. You’re really…” Dima tries to convince me, but I interrupt him.

“Where… is she?” I struggle to ask in my raspy weak voice.

They both go quiet and look at each other.

“Iris, just rest for now,” Elda tells me.

I won’t rest until I see her. Pushing down against the floor, I try to get my battered body up. I grunt in pain, every movement hurts. Halfway up, my legs give in. Dima catches me in my fall, holding my weak body up.

“Fine, I will take you,” he tells me.

I look up at him. He is smiling at me as he puts my arm around his shoulder.

We walk slowly; the smell of burnt wood and ash fills the air. Destroyed, ruined. What were once homes have become coals. Ash blows on the ground, the dirt mixed with its black color. Every step hurts, my head pounds with an excruciating headache. But Dima keeps leading me forward.

A few cottages remain like the one in front of us, blackened and cracked but standing. This one is Callum's and Astrid's home.

Heins runs up to us outside the cottage.

“Iris!” he calls.

He puts a hand on my arm, biting his lip to hold back tears.
I can’t face his gaze right now.

“It’s fine Heins, we’ll talk later,” Dima tells him.

As we open the door, Astrid stands at the hearth. She holds a wooden spatula, stirring the pot. Callum walks out of the children's room with blood-stained bandages. Their eyes open wide, staring at me. Astrid drops the spatula to the ground, running up to me.

“Iris! You’re awake! Oh, thank goodness! We were all so worried,” she tells me with her thankful smile.

I can’t bring myself to smile; my eyes are fixed on Callum’s bloody bandages.

“We came to see her,” Dima says.

I step into the children's room and see her. She lies in the straw bed. The hide blanket rests on her body with her arms over it. Her pale skin. Her rosy lips. Her closed eyes. Time stops.

Letting go of Dima, I wobble my hurt body to her. My legs shake and struggle to hold me. No one intervenes; they let me go to her. They watch from the doorway as I reach the bed. I grab on to the wooden frame, sitting down on my knees. I look at her. I slowly grab a hold of her hand. It’s warm. I reach for her face, staring into it, brushing her white strands of hair behind her ear. Her mouth is slightly open, taking small, gentle breaths.

Tears fill my eyes as I rest my head against her arm. My emotions rush through, coming back from the dark pit in my heart. I weep at Stella's side.

Part 2 - Awake

They wouldn’t let me do anything to help. All day I stumble around in the village with the wooden stick that Klen and the others gave me. I’m carrying a bouquet of flowers. Everyone is running around, salvaging anything useful that remains. Most of it lay destroyed: crops burned, food stores ruined. These two weeks have been tough. With the shortage of food, the only savior has been the creatures that Klen and the others bring back from their hunts.

“Are you going to the graves again?” Heins comes up to me and asks.

He looks at me with a skeptical look.

“Yeah… Please, let me at least do this?” I ask him.

I have healed enough to move on my own. Still not enough to do anything too physically straining yet. Broken ribs and knuckles, teared skin and cuts across my body, and a terrible concussion. If i weren’t an Avi I would have been dead by now.

“Ugh, fine. Don’t blame me if Elda or Dima lectures you,” Heins tells me.

I chuckle at him and answer:
“I won’t.”

I put a flower on each grave. They are lined up together at the edge of the village, the mountain as their background. Many lost their lives. They deserved better. They deserved to live. I’m not angry anymore, I’m just sad as I look at their graves. This is just something small that I can do for them, to let them know that we remain alive.

Walking past the main hall, I hear Dima’s voice.

“What are you doing?” he yells at me.

I look up at his scowling face.

“How many times do I have to tell you? You won’t heal properly like this. You have to stay in bed,” he tells me.

I smile at him. He can’t help but smile too.

“I know. But I want to go give this to Stella,” I answer, while holding the remaining flowers.

He smiles at me. Elda suddenly comes up from behind him, pushing Dima forward.

“We’ll come with,” she says with a cheeky smirk.

I replace the old flowers from the wooden vase next to Stella. The bright colors fit nicely next to her white hair. I sit on a chair next to her, watching her sleep. Her chest rises and falls with her breath. She looks like an angel. Elda and Dima stand beside me. Dima puts a hand on my shoulder.

“She will wake up soon,” he consoles me.

He knows that I’m worried, I can’t help it. She is my savior, without her I would have lost myself. I want to talk to her. I want to hear her soft voice. I want to see her emerald eyes.

“Now, we have stuff to do. Let’s head back,” Dima says as they turn to the door.

I keep my gaze on Stella’s face, sneaking in a last glimpse before I stand. On my way up, something grabs hold at my wrist. The soft fingers are pinching my jacket's cuff. My eyes turn towards her. Green eyes stare right into mine. A warm smile meets me.

I kneel down, taking a hold of her hand. My eyes tear up, my lips tremble.

“Stella,” I mutter under my breath.

Dima and Elda turn. Their faces light up in joy when they see her.

She lifts her other hand and places her soft palm on my cheek, her thumb brushing my new scar.

“Your back,” she tells me.

“Mm,” I answer with tears running down her hand.

We stare into each other's eyes. I feel warm, my body tingles. She comes closer. Her rosy lips push softly against mine.

Dima and Elda stand quiet, flustered behind me.

Part 3 - Future

Everyone gathers in the main hall. We sit along the long table; Stella is by my side and Heins on the other. Dima and Elda sit across from me. Elda looks shocked. She still can’t believe what happened at the cottage. Dima clears his throat awkwardly and Stella just smiles happily. My face warms in embarrassment. I don’t know what to say. Heins looks confused at us all.

“What’s up with you all?” he asks, oblivious.

The fire burns bright from the hearth in the center. The villagers sit with the warming fur blankets around them. Klen stands at the end of the room with everyone's eyes on him. He speaks.

“We can’t stay here. We will run out of food before long,” he tells everyone.

“This place is too dangerous. Who knows how long it will take for something else to happen?” Klen continues.

All the villagers look worried. They are all exhausted and hungry. At this rate, we will lose more lives.

“But, where do we go?” a villager stands to ask.

“No one will welcome us,” another expresses their worry.

The room grows silent. No one knows the answer. The world hates us, nowhere is safe. My stomach stirs with worry. But Stella stands up beside me.

“We should go to Estar territory,” she tells everyone.

Everyone looks surprised as the tiny Mir woman speaks.

“Why?” Ivar asks from the crowd.

“I can’t promise your safety, but I know that my brother is there. My parents always told me that the Estar treats the Avi differently. Maybe… they will accept you,” Stella explains with slight hesitation.

“Maybe? That’s too risky. What if they’re like the others?” a villager objects.

I understand the worry. The journey is far, and I have no idea how we will travel all together.

“Then we will be back to where we were!” Astrid stands and yells.

Everyone's eyes turn to the Astrid where she stands.

“We don’t have any other option. Staying here will only lead to more sorrow. I won’t let my children go through this pain again,” she passionately argues.

No one can argue back. If we don’t do something, nothing will change.
Callum stands up beside her.

“Even if it is the slightest chance, it is the only one we have. If we do this, we should do it together,” he says with everyone watching his stern expression.

Smiles and courage come alive in the villagers' faces. Their words bring them hope, a glimpse into a better future. I feel everyone comes together as one, as one people.

“We leave tomorrow,” Klen says, with a smile.

I look at Stella still standing above me, and to my friends sitting around me, thankful that I have them beside me. We all smile together.

I stay behind for a bit, watching the village from the top of the hill. The villagers are leaving behind me, everyone together with their few belongings. Dima comes and stands beside me, and we watch the view together.

“I’m happy that you are still with us,” he says, still facing forward.

I know what he means, I’m happy too.

“I won’t ever leave again,” I tell him.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Heins yells from behind us.

I turn and see them all waiting further up the hill. Heins waves at us. Elda has her spear in her hand, talking to Callum and Astrid. Stella looks back at me while holding the children’s hands. She smiles when she sees me, warming my heart.

Dima pushes my shoulder as my face turns red.

He walks up to them and I soon follow.

Walking towards my future.