Chapter 20: "My Past, My Curse"

No… no, this can’t be…

We appeared in an ancient theater in the dark. A pair of gray light rays filtered through the walls. Alone, facing each other, he looked at me, lostly, and did so with contempt.

“I… I killed you. Abandoned you in order to survive and forgot about you. Then, why are you here? You don’t belong to this world!” I shouted, before his presence.

He did not react.

Who does he think he is? How dares he show up after all he has done to us… That bastard… How weird… I feel guilty for having insulted him. But why? Because of the sorrow? Or because of melancholy?

“Neither do you belong to these confines.” Said a voice that resonated throughout the place. “Nonetheless, you have the intention to change the laws of this world, the rules of the game.”

I looked around me, confused.

Is he referring to the fact that I want to kill Zenith?

“Who are you? Don’t play with me, scamp. Show yourself right now!” I unsheathed the snake, ready to kill anything in my view. The mere fact of having Milo’s face in front of me made my blood boil.

A dense wind, charged with memories, ran over every column, every seat, every internal balcony, until the space was invaded by an opaque light.

“I am The Ruin, the destroyer of worlds, the inevitable end, the one that shatters reality and turns it to ashes.” After pronouncing those words, the theater shook entirely.

How is that possible? The Ruin is not alive anymore: he died during the Creation. Or perhaps he broke the limits of this world, incarnating himself in this ancient prison? Is he that powerful?

“I don’t care that you are The Ruin, who gave you the right to see right into my memories?” I yelled, enraged.

“W-h-o g-a-v-e y-o-u t-h-e r-i-g-h-t o-f s-h-o-u-t-i-n-g a-t m-e!?” He voiced in a wrathful explosion. Hearing him, my muscles tensed and my blood froze. “Remember your place, human.”

If he wanted to, I’d be dead already. I’d like to mediate my words, not provoke him with stupidities. But… I can’t. The fact that Milo is here throws me into a loop.

Milo walked towards me. The closer he got, the older he became. When he stood by my side, his expression turned dead: I could then recognize the bullet hole on his forehead, the one that I made.

Is he mocking me? That’s what he wants: to shatter me, pry into my emotions, open old scars. No, I shouldn’t feel like this. He betrayed us: my decision was the right one.

The colossal theater got lost in its dimensions, compressing itself into a tiny space. Milo vanished.

“I reincarnated in this world, and the only story that should matter is the one that I make here.”

“Of course. Punishing the Primordial Eclipse for his sins ends up being tedious, so I’ll have fun with you.”

The spirit of the place started agitating in an unusual way: reality twisted itself, and the essence of the space vanished.

A wave of memories rushed into my consciousness.

******************

By my side remained a spectral figure. Through it, I observed my memories.

“Look, Darek: it’s you as a child.” He said, showing me the moment when my parents abandoned me.

I don’t hold a grudge against them: they did with me what they should have.

“The country was at war, things like that used to happen all the time.”

Held by their hands, they left me at the orphanage door and promised to return soon. There I learned that promises die before the ones who made them.

“They were insignificant to you. However, you can’t say the same of your friends, right?” A snap was heard, and my heart was gripped by horror.

The landscape changed to the first time I met my only friends: Sven, Finn, Markos, and Milo. We were all the same age.

Those times were nice. With them, the world stopped mattering to me; I was happy.

Alone, we played, sharing the scarce food we had, and made the orphanage a home. We tended to the sorrow of having lost our families by creating a new one.

I enjoyed seeing them. It was a happiness that hurt: it came accompanied by a void, the void of knowing that I’d never see them again.

“Do you know how this story ends, Darek?” Their faces deformed until becoming the ones I saw for the last time: helpless and suffering.

“Please, let’s not reach the end. I’m begging you.”

I did what I had to do for their own good, but even so, why does misery torture me? Is it because I lost them? Is it my fault they ended up the way they did?

The sky fell and night came. A bomb turned the orphanage to rubble. We only survived because we used to sleep in the basement, sharing the same bedding.

“Here begin the memories you treasure the most, the most pristine ones. You five, alone, surviving the enemy army, escaping a ruthless world.” Said The Ruin as he caressed Milo’s face.

He showed me beautiful moments: making a fire to cook, fighting between us over who would sleep on the best mattress. Our lives were tough, but within mutual support we had found a sanctuary impossible to find anywhere else on Earth.

I will never get them back. How tragic: I shattered our world and tried to convince myself I had done the right thing. But was it right? Can I die without taking regrets to my grave?

“We were blissful even in that apocalypse. We faced our problems with joy and didn’t let the world’s cruelty shatter our spirit,” I muttered, as I felt a strong warmth in my chest and the desire to cry.

We did not belong anywhere, but as long as we were together, it was enough.

A hollow smile left me, full of joy and full of pain. A strong sensation oppressed my head, I couldn’t bear what lay before me.

Guilt is annihilating me. How could I have destroyed everything? Why? Out of anger? Out of fear? I don’t understand… I don’t understand myself…

“It’s a shame that the weight of his death falls onto you, don’t you think?” The abstract figure revived the corpses of Milo and Finn just as I remembered. “The others died as well, but you didn’t live long enough to see it.”

I lunged at him with my sword in fury, though I didn’t manage to hurt him. It was useless; I couldn’t escape: The Ruin would force me to watch my story until the end.

He writhed in a sickly delight.

Ruin, I’ll kill you. I swear I’ll kill you for having revived my past. I’ll crush your core until you release the fiercest howls of pain conceived for creatures like you.

“That’s it — show me your anger, keep feeling miserable. Hate me, despise me.”

Is he eager to torment me with my memories? I’ve had enough of what Zenith did to me. She, just like Milo, is a traitor. They betrayed me and because of that…

Because of that they must die?

His form changed: he transformed into countless Milos that began to enact chaotic, overlapping scenes.

“Bastard, stop playing with me,” I shouted, overwhelmed.

The landscape shifted again. We met Viktor, the leader of the resistance army. He took us in. In our despair to stop running and have better lives, we accepted to join the military.

“Then, your bond hardened like iron, forged into an unbreakable link.”

The years we spent in the resistance were atrocious: the violence of war did not let us live, handing us an invisible weapon that slowly annihilated us. However, we never separated, never argued, never doubted each other.

I was useless, and Milo always protected me. Once, I almost set a truck with supplies on fire, and Milo prevented it. Another time, while exploring, I fell into a military trap, and Milo was the one who rescued me…

He took responsibility whenever I failed, saved me from countless accidents. One day, he lost an ear while helping me fight an enemy—because I was inept.

“You lived like brothers, overcoming disgrace after disgrace. The good times were only memories of yesterday: the people around you disappeared or died.” The Ruin explained.

Even the military was cruel to us: they did not tolerate mistakes. That’s why their punishments were severe: they would beat us in a dark room while the rest of us watched, using our suffering as an example.

We all suffered there. When leaving those rooms, it destroyed us to look each other in the eyes, we felt powerless, incapable of stopping that pain.

We couldn’t take the abuse anymore: that wasn’t living. Barely enduring it. That’s why we made an arrangement to escape the resistance.

“Milo created the plan: you would make a depot explode, convince the rest that they were under attack, and take advantage of the chaos to escape, isn’t that right? Nevertheless, how many got out alive?”

No, no, no: I never wanted this to happen. Why did it happen? Why did fate strike me with such a cruel decision?

“Shut up. I don’t want to, I don’t want to see it. Please, I’m begging you. I won’t handle it. Please, please!” Tears lacerated my cheeks.

Now I understand: I had convinced myself that I had made the right choice. That’s why I didn’t feel a thing and reincarnated coldly in this world.

However, the passing of time did not bring me consolation; it only heightened my burden.

When activating the explosives, comrades of the resistance appeared everywhere, taking us by surprise. Improvising on the way, we took a precarious path to escape, its ground difficult to traverse, full of corners and bifurcations.

Horrified, we watched as those who had once been our comrades hunted us for being traitors. But at the same time, we were joyful: soon, we would be free and return to those times we had lived alone.

Another snap was heard. The curtain closed.

“There you crossed the threshold of no return.”