Chapter 30: "The Shadow Within"

Milo, I thought I had overcome you. I thought I had destroyed the feelings I had for you when you betrayed me... It’s a lie, that’s a lie, a lie I created to accept your death, to justify my mistakes.

I will change, I promise. I’ll start with you, master. You were not to blame for anything, you were only following orders. That is why you are worthy of my forgiveness.

All around us, the catacombs had been completely shattered. The Adept was embedded in a wall, bleeding out his essence. His metallic fists were broken, and his body fragmented into thousands of jagged shards.

What happened here?

I regained control of my senses and awoke with my hands around Zera’s neck, squeezing with unnatural strength, while Jix struggled to stop me. Then I realized the mistake I had made.

Is this me? Why am I doing this? What happened while I wandered within myself?

I released her, trembling, horrified by my own actions.

The souls seized my rage, my repressed emotions, and unleashed them. But… I don’t understand. Why would I attack Zera? Does my suffering not distinguish between those I love and those I don’t?

Confused, I looked around. The marks of a fierce battle stained the walls of Kaleron, scars only a monster could have carved.

I have been through much in this life, and yet, I never thought my unconscious would dare to unleash such destruction.

Zera drew breath again, gasping desperately for air. She pierced me with a look filled with fear, distrust, and resentment. Jix shared her fury as well.

I deserve their hatred. I didn’t listen. I should never have accepted this power. I let myself be carried away by compassion. Now I drag along the most wretched minions of Silence, and they want to turn me into one of them.

“Forgive me, please. I never meant to do this, I…”

Jix pointed behind me with his mask. When I turned, I saw the face of the abomination I carried within me.

Corin’s remains lay on the ground. His head had been smashed to dust, exposing the end of his spine. His organs spilled from his chest, butchered by a demon.

Was this me? Is this the horrid being I carry inside? Is it born from the emotions I nurtured against Zenith for so many years? But I… I was going to forgive him. I don’t… I don’t understand…

I looked at my hands, trembling with fear: they were drenched in blood.

Feeling the burning vibration of the fluid still pulsing, I remembered Milo’s death: the same fury, the same rage, the same madness.

Redeemer? How dare I call myself a redeemer? It’s a farce. I reincarnated. Names changed, cities changed, the world changed, but not me. Within me lives that same arrogant fool, that same wretched imbecile.

Desolate, devastated to my very bones, I looked at the victor: the Silence within me.

I have no excuses. I deserve no solace, no empathy, no forgiveness.

Zera stared at the remnants of my spirit, her eyes consumed by an unparalleled horror: I had shattered the boundary she had warned me never to cross.

I did not wish to speak: I couldn’t. No word could justify my actions. There was no council for my redemption. I lost all hope that Zera would ever trust me again, ever recognize me as her friend.

Then, the ruins began to transform: the towers formed a ceiling that blocked the exit, the stairways fused together, raising blocks that levitated around us.

They adopted a new layout, more bewildering than before. Then, they joined above our heads, erecting a prison that would eventually crush us.

I did not react; I merely waited.

What have I done? What am I doing with my life? I’ve lost Zera’s trust, the only person whose company I needed. And now? What is left for me? A foolish tale of vengeance? I’ve become a pathetic man.

The light dimmed: the heavy vibrations of the shifting buildings spread, threatening and imposing, revealing the true nature of a millenary city.

Am I finished? Well, does it really matter? The remorse and guilt of killing Corin and betraying Zera have eclipsed my fear of death.

Suddenly, a fissure split the earth and swallowed us whole. We descended with unnatural speed, crashing violently against the walls of the hole.

Perhaps this isn’t the dreadful end everyone fears, but rather the only way to silence what consumes me inside.

The sinkhole dragged us into its depths without mercy.

What is happening? Does it matter? Yes, of course it matters. The sentinel gave his life so that I might carry on Lumen’s legacy. If I’ve lost my own purpose, at least I’ll continue with the one they gave me.

They entrusted me to act with my heart. That is why I must find the Feather and ensure that no one, and nothing, uses it for evil ends.

As we fell, a winding corridor opened up before us. It was dark, lit only by a distant light. Along its sides were stacks of old, forgotten books. Perched upon them, owls watched us with the rigidity of gargoyles guarding ancient strongholds.

“I will recover the Feather and make sure it doesn’t end up in your hands: I will prevent you from carrying out your revenge, Darek.” Zera said, determined, driven by rancor.

I think that’s right. After all, I no longer even understand what I’m doing with my life. I killed my master and nearly killed her too.

As we walked, the books multiplied and the owls grew restless, disturbed by the presence of intruders in their home.

What is this place? Where are we going? Are we still in the catacombs?

When we reached the end, we entered a vast golden hall, like a basilica. In it, walls of ruined books crammed the chambers.

In one corner, a grayish beast of imposing stature was sheltering among the volumes. It turned pages with religious fervor, completely absorbed, paying no attention to our presence.

Its titanic claws made the books it read seem insignificant.

Its head had angular sides. From it sprang two horns that merged with its back through veins similar to the texture of its skin. A beautiful golden collar ran along the thickness of its thick neck.

Unlike the creatures we had encountered so far, its figure was not grotesque.

Two pairs of small, fast yellow eyes flickered with inhuman frenzy. Its fate was a single purpose: to read without rest, as if everything else in the world had no meaning.

As we approached, we noticed a woman beside it, seated on a pile of books, stroking an owl in her lap.

“Are you lost, children?” She asked in a sweet, almost maternal voice.