Sphinxes Suck

As we stand at the entrance of the temple the giant sphinx leans over us inspecting us carefully. Oh did I mention this lion, bird, lady thing is like 80 feet tall? Kinda weird running into another hybrid creature immediately after the chimera, but hey at least this one just tells riddles. I’ll take that any day over the tournament of champions.

“Oh my. What do we have here?” croons The Sphinx.

We all stand quiet, staring at the giant creature before us in awe. Alright everyone don’t all jump to talk at once. Ugh, but they all back away from The Sphinx and look at me. Guess this makes me the de facto leader of this group, the dreaded face role of the party. Sigh.

“Hi my name is June and these are my friends.”

“Cool.”

Um, that’s it?

“Uh, excuse me. Aren’t you supposed to tell us like a riddle or something?” I ask a little too aggressively.

“See that’s the problem with adventurers; they never want to just sit and chat. All they care about is either the loot or the shortcut.” The Sphinx says in a huff.

“Oh I’m sorry Miss Sphinx ma’am. Unfortunately we’re on a really time sensitive mission and-”

The Sphinx sighs exasperatedly, “They ALL say that…”

“So does that mean you’ll let us in?”

“So pushy… Answer my riddles three… blah blah blah… you know the rules. First riddle… ‘I can't be saved, though people try. When fun is had, they say I f-

“Time.” Spector interrupts.

“You didn’t even let me finish…” the moody Miss Sphinx sighs again like a bored teenager. Relatable sure, but we need her help! Oh, but her face looks really disappointed. We may not be getting into the temple at this rate.

I shoot a look at Spector to let him know he screwed up. He needs to get better at reading people!

“What? It’s the first riddle she uses in the book!” Spector says upon looking at my disappointed face.

That may be true. The Sphinx did use that riddle against Fern the Fearless in the Emperor of the Lantern, but she doesn’t know that WE KNOW the riddles he encountered. Hopefully she lets us continue.

“Okay so we only have two more riddles to solve right?”

“I don’t want to play anymore…” The Sphinx turns her head and lies down dramatically in front of the entrance. She’ll never move if we don’t entertain her.

“Oh please, but we love your riddles! Do your worst Miss Sphinx!” I say in an attempt to appease the fickle winged sand cat lady.

“Well, I do have some new ones I’ve been saving for a while. They’re really good.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear them!”

Crap, I think I just unlocked hard mode.

“What kind of lion never roars?” The Sphinx muses.

Okay so this one doesn’t have a lot of words, so maybe it’s not too tricky? What does everyone else think?

“Maybe it’s a tiger?” Spector ponders.

“Why a tiger…?” Azuki chides.

“I don’t know, but in movies they sometimes a use a tiger’s roar in place of a lion because they’re not quite as loud so-”

Yikes he’s way overthinking this. Jet is awfully quiet. Maybe he has something?

“Jet, do you have anything?” I ask.

He holds his chin up with his fingers in contemplation. “Maybe it’s a pun? Like you’d be "lyin’ " or "lion" if you thought a lion didn’t roar… no?”

We’re hopeless.

“Time’s up,” The Sphinx announces. “The answer is a dandelion.”

“Oooohh....” we all sound in unison.

“Alright, that’s strike one.” The Sphinx responds. “Two more failures and I will consume your souls.”

Oh God. I totally forgot about that part. Hopefully the next riddle this soul-sucking goddess has for us isn’t too difficult.

“Here is my second riddle.” The Sphinx straightens her domineering posture as she begins. “There is a man with his horse going into town. The man went to town on Monday. He stayed in town for three days and then-”

“Pass.”

“AZUKI!” I shout at her.

“What? It has too many words. We’re never going to solve it.” Azuki turns to the winged sand cat to ask her question. “Miss Sphinx, will you let us pass ‘Go’ and collect two hundred bucks?”

“I do not understand this turn of phrase, but no you do not get ‘free skips’.”

Crap. Are souls are about to be fed to an angsty cat goddess. So long everyone. It was nice knowing you. Good thing I already wrote my will.

“I apologize, did I make it too tough? I can try a simple one. This next riddle is mere child’s play. If you do not answer this correctly then your souls deserve consumption.”

The Sphinx continues. “What two things can you not eat for breakfast?”

I don’t know, that’s a tough one. There are so many things that you shouldn’t eat for breakfast! We should think about this carefully.

“Rice.”

“Hamburgers.”

“Pigeons.”

They all answer at once. SERIOUSLY GUYS?! This is a riddle, she’s not asking for our opinions on breakfast items! We’re so screwed.

“...what pray tell is a pigeon?” The Sphinx asked.

Azuki explains to her. “Oh a pigeon is a stupid looking bird. You find them a lot on streets in cities. Having one of those birds for breakfast just ruins your day completely.”

“Hmmm…” The Sphinx muses. “I too have consumed the souls of birds and found them not to my liking. Very well. I shall award you one more victory. But, before you are allowed passage, one final riddle must be solved.”

I am so glad we have another chance. Since The Sphinx counted that answer as part of our riddle wins, there’s just one more left! Way to go Azuki!! You sure made up for skipping too early on that last one. In the meantime, I’ve got to ask what the real answer was or it’s gonna bother me the whole day.

“So Miss Sphinx… what’s the real answer to-

“What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?”

Oh nevermind. She already started the next riddle. Guess I’ll never know the answer to that last one. This one though, what could it possibly mean?

“Pssst June… maybe now is a good time to use that resonance stone Minerva gave you?” Azuki suggests.

I completely forgot about that! It’s certainly not a bad idea. Although, part of me really wanted not to rely on the resonance stone. I never reached out to Minerva because I felt that if we didn’t save the day all by ourselves, we failed. Now I see that’s not really true. I guess I thought I had to take the journey alone, but people will eventually come into your life willing to lend a helping hand. It’s always okay to take that hand. I really hope that when I go back to the real world, I make friends as awesome as these guys.

“Miss Sphinx, are we allowed to phone a friend?” I ask.

“Do what now?”

The question caught her off guard. I guess we'll just have to show her!

“Ooh see this rock in my hand? It’s called a resonance stone. I can use it to talk to people from different parts of the world and see their faces. It’s pretty cool!”

“It feels like cheating. Whatever. Use your stupid new-fangled magic devices…” The giant winged sand cat laments.

The Sphinx seems disappointed, but I think she knows we could really use the help. It turns out, we’re pretty bad at riddles. Hopefully Minerva isn’t as atrocious as us.

I rub the stone in a circular motion and recite the words needed to light up the stone. Once done, a hazy image starts to appear above the rock. It’s our favorite gnome lady Minerva! Behind her it appears like there is a second figure though I’m not quite sure what it is.

“Oh hi dear! How is the adventure going?”

“It’s going pretty well so far…” Once again I see a strange figure shift in the background. “Minerva, are you with someone?”

“Oh, hey June bug!” Aww it’s convenience store Frank! I can vaguely see his hand come into form and wave to me. Wait, why is he with Minerva this late at night?

I can’t let my mind go there as much as I want to ask. Curse my curiosity! We’ve got a riddle to solve first.

“If you don’t mind us asking, could you help us solve a riddle?” I ask.

“Sure thing dear!”

“Yeah whatever you need kiddo.”

They’re so kind. It’s always nice having people like that in your corner.

“Okay, so this is The Sphinx.” I turn the rock so Minerva can see the giant temple guardian behind us.

“Oh she’s pretty!” Minerva marvels at the sand goddess.

She’s also really funny when she compliments people. It’s always so sincere. The Sphinx looks like she’s blushing! I don’t know how that’s possible, but it's adorable.

“Okay, so she asked a riddle that went like this, ‘what happens once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?’”

“Oh that's a tough one! I'll have to think about it…. Hmmmm,” Minerva ponders.

There's something about that sound.

“Wait, what did you just say?” I ask for clarity.

“Hmmm?” Minerva repeats though I'm not entirely sure she heard my question.

“Hmmm…. Mmmm! I've got it! Minerva, you're a genius!!”

I turn around to The Sphinx ready to give our answer.

“Miss Sphinx, the answer is the letter ‘M’!”

“Nicely done mortals. You may pass.” The Sphinx muses. “The entrance will seal behind you once you proceed. You may only enter once. And… if you ever find yourself in the Syla Desert again, do feel free to visit.”

“Will do!” I smile back to the sand goddess. Poor Sphinx is probably so lonely. She could use a visitor every now and then. But, I certainly won't challenge her to a riddle contest ever again. Her riddles suck.

I wave to the resonance stone to let our faithful leader know we succeeded. “Thank you for the help Minerva! We're heading into the temple now, so we might lose signal.”

“That's alright dear, call me once you've reached Mount Calamity. I need to know what food to make for you all when you get back!”

“Sure thing!” I say goodbye as the magical transmission cuts on the resonance stone. With this passage, we would reach that volcano soon.

We continue to press forward heading down the stairs into the underground temple. Various runes and glyphs line the walls dating back to what I can only imagine to be hundreds if not thousands of years ago.

“What do those say?” Azuki asks curiously. She grabs Spector’s arm to pull the lantern closer to the narrow passageway’s sides to inspect the symbols.

“I can't read all of it, but it seems to tell the story of a foolish man who tricked The Sphinx into granting him and his family the gift of eternal life. All this just to find that the only eternal experience they would have, was one of suffering.” Spector responds.

“I… recognize the language from the books.” He adds sheepishly.

“Well, let's hope eternal suffering doesn't await us inside.” Seriously, let's hope. Pray even.

We finally reach the innermost chamber of the temple. I’m surprised to find a number of tools scattered around a messy work station. Weapons of all kinds are present as well as an anvil that looks hot to the touch. Someone else is in here.

“Guys! Heads up. There's someone here.” I shout to warn the others.

We form a tight circle with our backs pressed against each other. Weapons are out ready to strike if need be. Damn, we're all posing like the main characters in a superhero film. We’re totally badass!

SNAP. What was that?!

We all hear the sound and chaos issues. Azuki throws her dagger at something that isn't there, Spector fires a crossbow bolt straight into the ground, and I accidentally jab Jet with my wizard staff knocking him forward.

You know the part where I described us as competent heroes? Scratch that. Turns out the critter making all the noise was from a massive beetle scattered over some collected wood.

“Do you mind?” A strangely chilling voice calls out from behind us. “I'm trying to get back to work here.”

We turn around to see a large man with dark brown hair tied up into a bun and tan skin. His arms house a myriad of scars, all cuts and burns from his line of business I imagine. He must be the blacksmith here.

“What are you four doing here?” He asks with as much feigned interest as he can muster.

“We're heading to Mount Calamity. Is this the way out?” I ask pointing my finger forward in the direction I think we should be going.

“Yeah that's it. Just be careful the exit isn't as structurally sound as it used to be,” He responds quickly. “Well see ya.”

Huh well that was weird. And totally anti-climatic. Guess we'll get going then…?

“Well… thank you… we’ll uh… just be on our way then…”

“WAIT! What is that?” The blacksmith’s voice booms, commanding us to a halt. I follow the direction his eyes are fixed on. He’s looking at Spector’s hand. He's looking at the lantern.

I look at the blacksmith. He’s afraid.

“Is that THE lantern?!” He raises his voice in concern. I’m not sure what to tell him. I don’t want to be honest, but I think he already knows the truth. Not to mention, my poker face sucks.

“Xaban’s undead soul is housed in there! Leave the lantern with me and run before it’s too late.” The blacksmith frantically reaches out to take the lantern from my hands. The others rush to form my defensive lineup. See? Football terms. You can tell Jet I did learn something about sports.

“We are NOT leaving the lantern with you!” I call back. “We’re going to Mount Calamity to throw this thing into the volcano to kill this guy for good.”

“Wait! But don’t you see?” The blacksmith urges us to listen. “The lantern is glowing. When it glows this bright that means Xaban will be healthy and freed from his chamber any minute now.”

Jet begins to speak, “Look we don’t have time. We have to get to Mount Calamity before it’s too late.”

With the words he speaks, the lantern in Spector’s hand begins to shake. A shadowy form snakes its way out of the light and materializes before us. It’s Xaban.

Xaban is free. We’re too late. Well, I finally figured out the answer to that riddle The Sphinx never answered. What you can’t eat for breakfast is lunch or dinner. Right now I hope Xaban’s light isn’t too hungry. Otherwise, countless souls will soon be fed to that stupid lantern. As for our souls? We’re the main course.