Disappointment

Spector and I travel on foot, continuing our journey south to Mount Calamity. Since we hold the lantern, and thus the power to destroy Xaban’s ability to regenerate, he’ll likely be waiting for us there. It would be best to get there sooner rather than later.

“It's risky, but we may want to consider taking the route in the Mojara cave. It’s a bit of a maze and the passageways are narrow, but we can save a day’s time.” Spector suggests a shortcut.

“Then let’s do it.” Xaban will only grow stronger the longer he remains outside of that lantern. We have to get to Mount Calamity as soon as possible. We don’t have any time to waste. For Azuki’s sake.

We press forward until we reach the mouth of the Mojara cave system. It’s a bit ominous looking, but we have to keep moving.

Inside the cave, it’s difficult to see even a few feet ahead of you despite the lantern’s light. It’s not only incredibly dark here, but surprisingly wet for a cave in the Syla Desert. The ground beneath us is so slick and steep that one wrong step could send us to the hospital. Or the morgue.

We tread carefully, paying special attention to our footing. There are a number of drop offs that lead further into the depths of the cave. We’ll have to be especially wary of our next move. It’s a jump from one edge to another, about ten feet in length. As for what’s in between that gap? The possibility of a downward fall into a bottomless pit of nothingness.

“Here!” Spector leaps across making the jump look easy before offering his hand out to me. He sets the lantern down by his feet so I can get a clearer view of where I need to land.

A loud screeching sound echoes through the cave system and I don’t want to find out what creature those noises belong to. I have to move. Now.

I walk back a little to get a running start. As I sprint forward, a flurry of bats fly overhead screaming loudly into the dark. I miss my moment to leap. I slip.

Spector drops to his stomach and reaches with his arms to try and catch me, but it’s pointless. I didn’t make it far enough. Not even close.

As I fall I feel guilty for the look of fear on Spector’s face. I don’t want him to feel for me. I don’t want him to mourn. This whole time, he was right. It’s best not to get too close. Because someone will always suffer for it.

I make impact. The thud hurts, but I’m okay. I suppose the distance I fell from wasn’t as long as I thought, despite those seconds in the air feeling like an eternity. A small pain courses through the lower part of my body. Probably just a bruised tailbone.

I look up to try and gauge how far down I am, but all I see is darkness. I move my head around, scanning my environment, but I see nothing. I close my eyes and open them. Nothing. It’s pitch black down here.

It’s just cold. And dark. And wet. And sucky.

As I sit in the shallow waters of the endless void, tears start to roll down my cheeks. The cold dewey feeling in my eyes just makes the whole situation worse. I’m irritable. I’m bitter. I’m numb. I succumb to the miserable sensation of sheer hopelessness.

After some time, a light starts to shine in this dark hour. A literal light. I look down at the pocket in my cloak, the resonance stone there glows dimly. It’s Minerva.

I realized I never reached out to her until Azuki made the suggestion to use the stone for The Sphinx riddles. I guess I thought that if we asked for help, we failed. I selfishly wanted us to do it all on our own, but what else is a support group for if not to help others in times of struggle? I could really use some advice from the leader of the Isekais Anonymous. Though more importantly, I could really use some advice from Minerva. She kinda feels like a mom to me.

I take the damp glowing rock out of my pocket. Thankfully the resonance stone is okay to get wet, unlike my real phone at home. Otherwise, I’d be desperately trying to do the old rice trick, so I could call Minerva back. I rub the stone to accept the call. She appears in a faint projection within the cave.

“Oh hello dear! My, it’s quite dark in here. It’s hard to see you! I realize by this time now you’ve probably already reached Mount Calamity, but I thought I’d call for an update just in case. How is it going?”

“Um…” I try to choke back my tears, but the effort is in vain. I should be honest with her. “It’s not going so well…”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry!” Her cheerful smile quickly fades when she hears the pain in my voice. “Tell me everything that happened.”

“We didn’t make it in time. We have the lantern, but Xaban is free. We got separated from Jet and Azuki. And Azuki she’s… she’s trapped in the Sphinx temple, I don’t even know if she’s alive and I don’t know what to do! We screwed up…”

“Oh no, no you didn’t. We put too much weight on your shoulders dear. Where is the Sphinx temple June? We will arrange a rescue party right away!”

“It’s um… it’s about four miles northwest of the Mojara cave system and not too far south of Fodder.”

“Alright. We’ll get Azuki back don’t you worry. She’s a strong girl…” Minerva pauses. “You said Jet stayed behind at the temple. Does that mean that just you and Spector are going to confront Xaban at Mount Calamity?”

I nod my head. She’s probably going to try and stop me, isn’t she? For years I’ve found that if I’m not perfect at something, I quit. Then I’m given a second chance in this world to be brave. But everything I touch… is doomed to fail.

The tears fall even faster as my voice breaks. I have to apologize. I screwed up again, just like always.

“I’m so sorry I failed you…” my voice trembled in the far reaches of the cavern.

“Oh my dear…” echoed Minerva. “You could never disappoint me. In fact, I am quite proud of you young lady.”

Suddenly my eyes widened. That was it. Those were the words I have been waiting to hear my whole life. Was just trying my best, truly enough this whole time? I feel guilty to even talk to a soul as kind as Minerva. I don’t feel worthy. In an instant tears flooded my eyes once more.

“Oh dear please don’t cry…” Minerva reached out her spectral hand as if she wanted to give me a hug. I couldn’t feel her at all, but in another way I felt everything at once. In the glaze of my tears I saw her form start to change. Her nose is more petite than the typically round one of gnomes. Her hands are aged from hard work over the many years of her life. Small scratches and bruises paired with a warm smile that would put the sun to shame. Her hair is in a low bun and she’s wearing a handmade apron. This is the real Minerva.

“I don’t get it, how does someone end up to be as good a person as you?” I don’t want to pry, but I really want to know what she was like before coming here. A woman like her is a rare breed, I need to learn everything I can to be as kind and brave as her.

“I’m not one to put on a pedestal dear!” she says with a laugh. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my time..” Her voice trails off. This is where I should leave it. I’ll change the subject, but what should I bring up? Politics? The weather?? But just as I try to say something, Minerva continues.

“You know, I pushed away my only son and it’s all my fault.”

That was not something I ever expected to hear her say. I’m shocked that she could even be capable of that.

“What do you mean? How?” I ask.

She continues to answer, “I’m afraid my son made some not so healthy life choices along the way. I didn’t listen to him enough nor did I get him the help he needed. Instead I blamed him for all his problems. I thought that since he couldn’t quit the smoking and drinking, he was weak. I didn’t realize how much of a grip the addiction had on him or why it started in the first place. He made it out on the better side eventually, but no thanks to me. I haven’t heard from him in years even before getting isekai’d here.”

Then I’m guessing that the apron she wears is a hand-made gift from her son. She still cooks with it to this day. I hope that she goes back to make things right in the real world. I have no doubt that he will be the first thing on her mind when she leaves this place.

“You mentioned to me after our meetings that you and your mother don’t always see eye to eye, is that true?” Minerva asks.

I respond with a “yes”. From my time here with the Isekai Anonymous, I’ve come to realize that a lot of my doubts may stem from how I think she sees me. But I shouldn’t blame her, at least not entirely. I did all the work of making myself feel horrible all on my own.

Minerva adds one last bit of advice. “As the adults, parents should know better than to let their kids' thoughts and feelings go unexpressed. Parents should be able to see these things, but sometimes our own egos let the signs slip through the cracks. But the good news? Communication goes both ways dear. Moms and dads sometimes make mistakes and they don't even realize how it's affecting their kids. If you love her and you think she loves you just the same, let her know what you want from her. If she's a good mother she'll listen. If not, then I’ll just have to talk some sense into her when we get back to the real world. If she doesn’t realize how amazing you are young lady, then she’s a fool.”

She knows just the right thing to say. I’m sure it comes from years of trial and error. I’m glad that she’s in my corner. Though to be fair, she’s in everyone’s corner. Always looking to give advice without judgement.

“Alright dear, if you’re going to continue your adventure to Mount Calamity I won’t stop you. I trust you. If you need me for anything, whether to talk or just to use as a lightsource in this cave, just use the resonance stone.”

“Alright, I will.” I don’t like to ask things of adults, but I think I could use the practice before I talk to my mom. That, and I really want to make sure that Minerva does the right thing, so she doesn’t have to live on with pent up guilt.

“Before I go, will you… will you call your son when you get back to the real world?” I ask.

Minerva smiles, “That is the FIRST thing I’m going to do. I do owe him a proper apology and what kind of leader would I be if I didn’t follow my own advice? I’m going to brave June, just like you.”

I smile and thank Minerva before hanging up the rock. However, I’m not quite sure what to do next with my wavering determination. I want to press forward, but how do I get out of this place?

I trudge through the dark waters around me as it steadily gets deeper. A small fish swims up to me, wriggling around my knees. How do I know this? The fish glows in the cave with stunning bioluminescence.

I follow the lone fish who leads me to a small colony of these delicate tadpole sized swimmers. Their beautiful blue light brightens the surrounding stalagmites as well as a wall with an inscription. It reads, “sholeh.”

The crystals on my magic staff suddenly begin to glow. The dazzling sapphires sparkle against the cave ceiling. So that was a light summoning spell? It’s so simple! I’m surprised Minerva didn’t know it or maybe she wanted me to figure it out on my own. I look down at a skeleton near the corner of the inscription. Well he CLEARLY didn’t figure it out. Either that, or he didn’t have a magic staff with him. Damn. What a terrible way to go.

I continue to press forward. The more confident I become, the brighter my staff starts to glow. I must be getting close.

I come across a small ledge and to my surprise, Spector is there waiting for me! He smiles brightly and reaches down with his hand. I can barely touch his fingertips with mine. It feels like the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet. Oh, but he loves someone else. Damn it.

“How did you find me?” I ask.

“When the bats separated us I didn’t know what to do. I panicked.” Spector explains. “But then I saw a glow coming from a place beneath mine. The light from your staff lead me straight to you.”

“Like a moth to the flame.” I reply tongue in cheek.

“So be it. If that makes you the light June, then by all means, lead the way.”

Spector helps lift me up, guiding me to the front so he can follow my path. As we exit the Mojara cave, the warm glow of the sun starts to disappear behind Mount Calamity. We’re so close now. Watch out Xaban, we’re coming for you.