A Hero's Welcome

“Oh good you’re finally awake.”

I groggily open my eyes and look up at my surroundings. The clouds are floating above at a brisk pace and I can feel my body moving gently up and down. I hear the neigh of a horse up ahead and come to realize I must be in a wagon. Oh God did I get isekai’d into one of those lame video games?!

My body jolts up immediately. I swear I hate Old Scrolls V: Welkin Edge, I never understood the hype. It relies on cheap action-y gimmicks instead of focusing on a compelling narrative! It ruins the whole fantasy aesthetic and has the worst combat mechanics I have ever seen!! Oh God I’ve got to get out of here. I feel my face and it doesn’t seem to have changed. But a wave of calmness rushes over me as there’s a familiar face I still recognize. Spector is sitting in the bed of the wagon on my right hand side.

“Whoa easy there!” He puts his hand out to catch my shoulders then eases my body back down to the wagon floor. I’m alive! My chest hurts like crazy, but I’m alive nonetheless.

But just as quickly as the feeling of elation met me, a greater sense of dread comes crawling back in equal measure. We made it out alive, but should I be?

As we head back into town, I can’t help but wonder, what do we tell the others? All our friends from the Isekai House will be back from their shadowy prison now that the lantern is destroyed. Just as everyone else is celebrating their joyous return, I’m mourning the loss of Azuki. She should be here. Not me.

The rest of the ride is quiet. Spector respects my boundaries and can tell I’m having a difficult time processing everything right now. He doesn’t say it, but I know he is hurting too.

The somber ride was a sharp contrast to the welcome party that awaited us back in Tauwren. There was food and drinks and games. Everyone welcomed us back with open arms and heralded us as the town’s saviors. I should feel happy at this moment, but I just feel numb.

I meet with the other isekais briefly to catch up with them. Tom was paralyzed from the waist down from his encounter with Xaban. He’s in a wheelchair the group fixed up, but he says he’s still in good spirits. I’m sure he’s lying.

I chat with Maddie who is super excited and a little bit jealous to geek out with me about all the cool magical creatures we saw along the journey. I ask her about her experience being trapped inside of Xaban’s lantern. From the books, I heard that having your soul taken there is akin to purgatory. Like waiting for a train that never arrives. She says she felt nothing. She’s lying.

I return the resonance stone to Minerva and give her a hug. She’s happy Spector and I made it back safe and sound. You can tell she’s tired from all the healing spells she had to use for the many injured from Xaban’s wrath. Her eyes are weary and I’m afraid to think not everyone recovered. She claims she’s fine. She’s lying.

I love everyone here, but I can’t take this anymore. I feel sick to my stomach. I… just want to be unhappy for a while.

I look over to find Spector surrounded by a bunch of pleasant folks commending his bravery. It looks like they’re about to lift him in the air. So, amidst the cheers and celebration I quietly slip away to let the true hero have his moment. I’m happy for him.

I start to walk, but I’m not sure what to do. I guess I should just sleep the day off, but then what’s there to stop me from doing that the next day and the next?

“Hey where are you going?” His familiar voice stops me in my tracks.

“Oh probably back to my place at the inn,” I say in response. “Enjoy your celebration, Spector.”

“Wait, hang on...” Spector grabs my hand. I kinda want to be alone right now, but I’m sure that’s not good for me. Not after everything that’s happened. So I stay and listen.

“This celebration is also for you. You know that right?”

“Nah I barely did anything. I’m no hero.” I refute him.

Please don’t insist otherwise. Anything you say won’t be the truth and I know it. Please just give up on me, Spector.

“That’s not true. Jet wouldn’t have the courage to get back up and stand strong if you weren’t there for him when he struggled. You encouraged him to believe that he could push through anything. Azuki wouldn’t have helped us if it weren’t for you bonding with her. She teased you through it all, but the grace you eventually extended to her, she extended to others in return, right up until the very end. And what about me?” He pauses before saying the most amazing words anyone has ever said to me in my life. “I… probably wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. You’re MY hero June.”

And just like that my heart melts again. Telling me words that would have made the little girl in me giddy with excitement. He’s making sure that the career dreams I wrote about in kindergarten actually come true. Spector is genuinely really thoughtful and sweet behind that edgy exterior. But I really don’t want to head back to the town center even if they are celebrating me. I feel too numb to be happy.

“Y’know big celebrations like this aren’t exactly my thing either. Do you want to leave and go somewhere else?” He asks.

And there he goes again reading my mind. I swear that must be a superpower or magic spell of his. He must have seen the uncertainty in my body language. While the offer does sound nice, I don’t want to be a bother to him since I’m not really keen on talking right now. I’d make for terrible company. Though I can’t help but wonder if he’d stay anyways.

“You can join me if you want, but I’m afraid I’m not going to be the best conversationalist right now.”

“I don’t mind, I like the quiet. Lead the way Miss June.”

And so we find a nice spot on a field at the Isekai House just to rest and watch the clouds roll by. I cry a few silent tears thinking about the stray we left behind in the Sphinx temple. But despite the bargaining and pleading I do in my head, I know there’s nothing that can change what happened. So, I close my eyes. The grief has made me grow weary which in turn has made my body fall into a deep midday slumber.

I open my eyes and find myself in a classroom. Rows of desks and paper chains decorate the ceiling above. Where am I? Did I get isekai’d back to the real world?

I give myself a small pinch, but feel no pain this time. I suppose I must be dreaming then. I walk to the end of the classroom and find a little girl sitting in the back at an arts and crafts table.

“Did you come here to help me?” The little girl asks.

When her head turns around I see her eyes, eyes that I recognize as mine. She wears her messy brown hair in pigtails and sports a cute frog jumper. Her shoelaces are different colors, and one is untied. We still struggle with keeping our shoes tied huh? This little girl is me.

“Well….?” The mini me repeats her question. It’s rude to keep her waiting.

“Yeah I can help you. What are you working on?”

“It’s a career letter. We write it to the future us to see if we ended up doing what we planned. So….?”

The small girl trails off about to ask another question. She seems a bit nervous though. Maybe she’s scared of the future? I guess I never realized how much I let my fear of failure control me. I’ve always been smarter than I gave myself credit for and stronger than I believed. I should never have doubted us. We turned out alright. And if we keep things up, we still will be.

“So… are you worried about the future?” I ask.

The little girl nods. “Do we… get to be a hero when we grow up June?”

Tears well up in her eyes and before I know it I’m crying a bit too. I have to stay strong though. She’s counting on us.

“Yeah of course. Though being a hero is not in all the ways you expect. You will make a bunch of friends and go on fun adventures with them. You will grow smarter, stronger, and kinder over time. The best thing about you though, is that you try your best. Promise me… that you’ll always try your best June?”

“I will.”

“I KNOW you will. I love you.”

Little June drops the pencil she was using to write her letter and wraps her arms tightly around my waist. I hug her back squeezing just a little too tightly. Now it’s time to let her go. My eyes feel lighter. I think I’m starting to wake up. I look over at the career letter we wrote once more and smile. Sure, it was surprising that my hero’s journey actually did include fighting a literal dragon and learning magic spells, but it was so much more than that. We’re going to be okay now.

I stand in silence for a little while more before it’s time to leave. I turn back to find little June waving at me with so much vigor. I know now that some of the things I thought were impossible, clearly aren’t so. So why did I ever only think of all the things I couldn’t do? If this little girl believes in us, then how bad can the future really be?