4-3: Despair

The Magic Theory class started an hour ago. In normal circumstances, this would be a relaxed class for me because I wouldn’t even try to pay attention. But this day was different.

“Can someone explain where the error in this formula is?”

“...You’re supposed to divide in the second step…”

“Surprisingly close for you.”

Defeating Leonard with my current skills would be impossible, so I was trying to get knowledge in real magic. Maybe using common spells can surprise him and give me the chance to win. The problem was learning all of that in this short period of time.

It was really hard trying to learn from this point, but the efforts were always insufficient in this situation.

“All right class, don’t forget the content from the class of today…In general don’t forget the content of any class actually.”

When the class was over, I saw Fran approaching me. But instead of approaching him too, I went to the door.

“Kazu.”

“I’m busy.”

“Again?”

“We can be together another day…”

I abandoned the classroom and headed to the forest where I fought against Cloe one time.

“All right…”

Ready for what was coming, I activated my curses against a nearby bug. Even when he wasn’t paying attention, having a target was everything I needed.

“Ugh…”

Just using one was enough for making me crazy, but using three made me feel like I was going to die. Even when I can’t suffer the physical effects of stress like losing hair or dying, the pain was something totally different.

Every curse was like pressing my head with a hydraulic press, or even worse.

“...Again…”

It hurt, but I needed to upgrade my use of curses if I wanted a chance. Learning all the magic I ignored in those years would be impossible, but if I manage to combine magic with my curses I could make a situation where I can get an instant win.

I can’t stop to rest or have fun, if this can give me a chance, I’m only allowed to continue until my body stops working…

“...”

I continued with the practice until the sky became orange. Without any other option I went back to my room and studied all I could do during that time.

“...Why is this difficult?”

Trying to rush eight years of knowledge wasn’t easy, and it didn’t help that the side effects of using curses didn’t stop even one hour after stopping.

“If I had known things would be like this...I wouldn't have wasted all these years...”

I’m pretty sure I heard Fran’s voice sometimes and I even responded to him, but I didn’t try to retain that. I was only allowed to continue.

“It’s time to sleep…?”

At least I needed to sleep four hours if I wanted to study without forgetting anything, so I went to my bed and to sleep.

“Hmm…Agh!”

My sleep was always interrupted by nightmares, forcing me to wake up in very loud ways.

“...Sorry…”

My screams could be a problem for Fran, so I put on my uniform and quietly went to the classroom where we were supposed to have our first class. I can't bother anyone there.

“It’s cold…”

Now sure that I wasn’t bothering anyone, I leaned against the door and tried to sleep. If someone opens it I will wake up by the hit, so it was a good way to wake up.

“Guh…”

Instead of sleeping, I was taking short naps that lasted no more than twenty minutes. I was able to sleep again because I know some tricks to sleep faster, but even with that, the time wasn’t enough.

“Maybe it’s for the cold…”

Increasing my temperature could help, so I tried to make a mana mantle…But I wasn’t able to modify my mana.

“...C’mon…”

No matter how much I touched it, it never stopped having the consistency of water.

“...Whatever, I don’t need it.”

It was just a night, I could sleep in my room the next day.

“Sleep…”

Eventually the night ended and I continued studying and practicing magic.

The next four days followed the same routine. I never stop trying, telling myself that I was doing this to protect my friends. That was the only thing that mattered, the fatigue or pain can be ignored if they lead to an imminent victory.

I was able to continue with that until the day before I was obligated to challenge Leonard, but something happened.

“...”

“All right, tomorrow we’re gonna continue with this.”

I was about to go to practice again, but something grabbed my hand and pulled me.

“Huh?”

“Come here.”

For some reason, Fran was pulling me with strength. I tried to separate, but, I don’t know why, I was too weak to do that.

“Fran, let me go.”

“We’re going with Cloe.”

“Let me go.”

“If you're not going to tell me what's going on, you'll tell your childhood friend.”

“Fran!”

Somehow I managed to separate my hand and move some steps back.

“I’m busy today. Whatever you want, please let’s do it another day.”

“You've been busy for four days!”

“It’s something important!”

“...Come with me.”

“You didn’t hear me?”

“Just, do it.”

“Look, what I need to do is really important, I would appreciate if you just-.”

“There's no excuse to call everything you did before a waste!”

“...When did you hear that…?”

“Whispering isn’t gonna help you to hide things from me.”

“...”

“Now, come here.”

“But-.”

Just when I was about to respond, I stopped feeling my legs. Before I could notice, I was on the floor.

“Kazu?!”

My body didn't respond in any way, as if it had lost all its fuel and was now completely empty.

“What…?”

“I need help!”

I wanted to say I was fine, but my voice wouldn't come out. I wanted to walk away and keep practicing, but I couldn't even move my arms.

I wanted to see what was about to happen, but in less than a second, I passed out.