Humbled

When that door came down, a blizzard of icy, roiling wind blasted us, nearly knocking me off my feet. The big Orc with the shield received the brunt of it. Then, from the darkly lit interior of the dome came a blue flash. A razor-sharp spear of ice had punched through the ballistic shield, clean through his torso. Thinking quickly, Biru dropped the ram and dragged his compatriot to safety, and David caught three more spears as they rocketed towards us.

Our arrest team made entry, and I finally laid eyes on this giant, pale-blue gelatinous thorn in my side. My foot crunches on something. A quick glance down. It was a person. There’s tattered remnants of black robes, and a red, disintegrated pile of snow. That must be the guy who ran in to warn him. Underneath Uragas is a comparatively larger pile of the same thing. Those were people. Hostages? Grim.

Uragas is floating in the center of the room. It’s tough to see, but he’s actually vibrating. The ear-splitting sounds of cracking ice echo across the room, and the floor beneath him freezes over in a flash. David reacts immediately, setting a cordon line around him, which stops his ice in its tracks.

A tiny contraption forms out of the ice below him. It’s shaped like a speaker. It roars to life.

“YOOOUUU WILL PAAAAAY FOR THIS HUMILIATION!”

He’s quite upset.

I shout back.

“We have a warrant for your arrest. It’s over. Surrender peacefully and we won’t hurt you.”

“YOU? ARREST ME? HA!”

“I WILL MAKE YOUR DEATH LAST AN ETERNITY!”

Negotiating is not working here. One of my men shines their weapon-mounted flashlight behind Uragas, and something catches my eye.

There’s a skull laying on the ground. It’s glowing. Rather, its eyes are glowing. In fact, it’s slowly skittering its way along the floor. I draw my pistol.

“YOU CANNOT HOPE TO HARM ME, HUMAN.”

I’m not aiming at you, you gelatinous freak, I think to myself. I’m aiming at the thing out of a horror movie behind you. The skull picks up its pace, bouncing and chattering towards a darkened corner of the room. I take the shot.

Pow, pow, pow. Three shots, three hits. Splinters of the skull go flying, its jaw comes off, and it stops moving. From the ceiling, I hear the distinct sound of a blade whistling in the air. Instinctively, I step to my side as I look up, to see Gozu’s famed ice axe flash by my face and embed itself in the floor. My men duck and cover, shining their lights up at the ceiling. There’s a thin layer of ice on the ceiling, with bones embedded in it. The ice is melting. Unbeknownst to us, Gozu’s punishment for failing to apprehend my son was to be disassembled and stuck to the ceiling. Temper, temper.

I glance at David. Now or never, son. He draws the two Dowsing Rods from his belt, one in each hand. The instant he sees them, Uragas shivers.

“How… how did you...”, he stutters.

“HOW DID YOU...”

David lifts one up and points it at him.

“Kneel.”

The Slime crashes down from his floating position, with a tremendous, gooey slap.

He screams, partly in terror, and partly in rage. A great big smile fills my face. They work!

“There.” David points it at the ground beside Uragas.

Sniveling, quaking in its slimy, metaphorical boots, Uragas rolls himself a few feet over to the designated spot. His poofy hat comes off, smashed into the floor.

David raises the other Dowsing Rod.

“Surrender, and go peacefully.”

It’s the mind Rod.

The Slime shivers, then falls completely still.

“Yes, master.”, it croaks.

My men are taken aback. Master? Internally, I’m absolutely ecstatic. They worked! Hell yeah!

I give my son a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“Let’s get him out of here.”

After clearing the room, I had my men assemble out front and commandeered a rickety farmer’s cart for transport. A far cry from his opulent luxury, that’s for sure.

A crowd of curious onlookers had gathered in the commotion. The rain had nearly let up, beams of sunlight peeking through the clouds. A journalist from the College was on scene, broadcasting a magic screen into the town square. It showed us rolling Uragas out of his front door, David following close behind. The onlookers, both at the scene and throughout the city, gasped in astonishment, then, cheers.

We loaded the criminal Slime up into the cart, secured the scene and stationed officers all around to preserve the integrity of evidence within. With a firm handshake, I congratulated my son on his first arrest. He rolled his eyes, but then smirked. Maahnn and Munin walked over, big smiles on their faces. Maahnn, all four feet of him, marches right up to David and gives him a hearty smack on the back. Except, it lands squarely on his butt.

“HEY!”

Maahnn just lets loose an uproarious laugh. I turn to Munin.

“Does the College know yet?”

“Yes sir. They’re ready to transfer custody.”

“Very good. Let’s get this show on the road.”

We all loaded up into carts and hauled Uragas to the gates of the College, where a team of teleport specialists were waiting to transfer him to that creepy, magical prison I had walked when I first arrived here. Leia is standing among them, a worried smile on her face. Whoops! This must have been stressful for her.

I stood hand in hand with her as Uragas was placed on a concrete pad. He disappeared with a tremendous flash. David went with him, to ensure he safely enters a cell. It’s his first time in a prison; and what a prison that one is. He should be fine.

A massive crowd had gathered at the College’s entrance. Oh God. I have to give a press conference.

A podium flashes into view in front of the crowd. Throngs of journalists and civilians are pushing past eachother to get a good view. My men line up behind me on the stage, Leia beside me, and I set my hands down on the podium, peering out at the crowd. Eventually, they fall silent.

I cleared my throat.

“Today, the Laios Order of Police executed an arrest warrant on Slime Lord Uragas. We were able to take him into custody with some resistance.”

The crowd erupts into applause.

“Obviously, because this just happened, the investigation is still ongoing. I can say with confidence we plan to add more charges than just the initial murder warrant. His cultists, also on scene, fired upon my officers and, as such, received a fully appropriate amount of force in return. Those of them that surrendered peacefully were taken into custody.”

More applause.

“When I first arrived here, I said I’d rebuild your police department. With this arrest, I can proudly say that we’ve done it. From this day forward, no matter if you’re a Slime Lord or just a petty thief, if you run afoul of the law, we will find you and you will be brought to justice. Mark my words!”

Thunderous applause, with some cheering and whooping. A perfect, off-the-cuff improvised press conference. Hell yeah! I’m quite pleased with myself.

“Now, questions.”

Those in the front row shout over eachother, I pick one of them.

“Chief John, how were you able to take Slime Lord Uragas into custody?”, she asks. Definitely a reporter. She sounds like one.

I pause for a split second to think this one over. I could name-drop my son, but I know he’d despise me for that. He hates journalists. Also, it could put him in danger of retaliation.

“We were lucky to have a range of tools at our disposal; tools that, I dare say, are very useful when it comes to convincing a Slime Lord to comply. What stood out above all else was the outstanding performance of my men; their rigorous training and dedication was the reason this operation was a success. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

The next four questions are detailed inquiries into the investigation itself. What kind of charges, what are the cultists charged with, et cetera. I shoot each one down with a simple, “I cannot comment on an ongoing investigation, sorry.”

I glance around.

“Thank you all for coming, but we’ve got work to do. My sincerest thanks for your time.”

Applause fills the air again. Whew! I get a chance to step aside and talk to the men.

The homicide team, mostly comprising Dark Elves, are already combing through Uragas’s property. It’s going to be one hell of a crime scene. Of particular worry for me is identifying the cultists, and the victims inside.

One of the College mages approaches me. He’s with the medical team.

“Casualties?”, I ask him.

“No fatalities, sir. The most seriously injured is the Orc who was impaled, but he’ll recover. In total, five incapacitated, ten with minor injuries.”

Thank God.

“Very good. Thanks for your help. It would have been much worse without you guys.”

A firm handshake, and the medical mage quickly steps away.