Chapter 33 - Freedom

Tetsuo sat inside, absent mindedly, just trying to make sense or reason of what Bianca had just told him. He listened as outside metal clashed with metal and cries intermingled with pain. Slowly, the sounds of fighting began to die down, signifying the end of the ambush. Tetsuo moved outside, and saw that the rebels had defeated the Alvanians, taking most of the supplies that were being kept. The tents were torn and the knights sat tied up, forced to watch as the rebels celebrated. Tetsuo numbly moved through the crowd of cheering rebels back to the building he had descended from. The ground he stood on rose back to the rooftop, where Roscoe was still waiting. He looked at Tetsuo expectantly, seemingly waiting for a response.

“So? You brought me here just to ruin my life a little more before you kill me?”

Roscoe threw his hands up in exasperation. He turned, shaking his head, before looking back at Tetsuo waiting. An anger welled up in Tetsuo towards Roscoe. He stalked him, threatened him, and now he was upset with him for some reason.

“What’s your deal?! Say something! Anything! What do you want from me?!”

Roscoe observed him as if he were a child throwing a tantrum. The look he gave him told Tetsuo enough.

Are you done?

Tetsuo sighed as loud as possible before seating himself on the roof, running his hands through his hair frustratedly. “What am I supposed to do? I’ve done everything I can. I’ve given her everything I had and now she hates me… Just tell me…Please…”

Roscoe sighed and sat beside Tetsuo. They both looked out towards the crescent moon hovering over Tervana. The stars and cosmos painted the sky beautifully if you could ignore the smoke from the streets.

“I’m sorry…” Roscoe quietly spoke startling Tetsuo. His voice was deep and gravely, yet carried an air of tenderness to it. “I was working with Eleanor… Not anymore.” Tetsuo stared at him in disbelief. Quietly he unfolded his arms and leaned against the roof's surface. “Ask away…”

Tetsuo stared at Roscoe. He seemed to have relinquished himself to him. “If I had told my wife about anything… What would you have done?”

Roscoe sighed. “Supposed to kill you.”

“And her?”

Roscoe nodded.

Tetsuo sighed. “I’m glad I didn’t say anything…”

Roscoe turned away. “Wasn’t going to though.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I wasn’t going to.”

Tetsuo replied sarcastically. “Thanks. That means so much now that everything’s over.”

“It shouldn’t.”

Tetsuo looked back at Roscoe. He seemed completely serious. Tetsuo couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the absurdity of the situation. Spending the night looking out at the moon with his former assassin. He turned back to Roscoe.

“So what changed? Why disobey her now after everything? Why spend your time helping Earthens after everything you did to try to stop me?”

Roscoe paused for a moment before smiling to himself. Tetsuo couldn’t help but feel a bit weirded out by it considering he never showed any sort of emotion.

“I wanted to.”

The words, quiet as they were, resonated in the air.

“That’s it?”

“I didn’t like what I was doing, so I stopped. I felt better once I did.”

“You’re making an enemy of the kingdom.”

“Maybe. But, I feel like myself again. Try it.”

Roscoe stood up and dusted off his pants. Tetsuo looked at him expectantly, before wondering why that was. Roscoe reached out and helped Tetsuo onto his feet, before flipping his hood back on.

As Roscoe prepared to leave, Tetsuo attempted to muster together something out of his jumbled thoughts. “I was trying to protect her!”

“She seems fine. You, less so. Why don’t you try looking out for yourself first?” With that Roscoe slid down the wall of the building and disappeared into the streets below. Tetsuo was left alone watching the sky, as Roscoe’s perplexing answers replayed against Bianca’s parting words.

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The Alvanian dungeon was practically unguarded since it was more practical to guard Ficium than it was Earthens. Tetsuo had already grabbed the keys. It had been a while since Tetsuo had seen him, the first rebel he had ever defeated. He was still in the same cell since the last time Tetsuo had been in the dungeon. The rebel from Pia’s original group still seemed to hold some disdain for him, and didn’t seem particularly pleased by his returning. Tetsuo felt indifferent. He wondered freeing him wouldn’t change anything, so was there even a point? For either of them?

“Surprised to see you here.” Pia walked up beside Tetsuo, who had been too absorbed in his thoughts to notice her enter. She slid a bag of sweets through the bars of the cell and left it on the ground for the prisoner. “Veera told me you haven’t been showing up for patrols for a while.”

Tetsuo laughed a bit to himself. “Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot on my mind.” Tetsuo held out the keys to Pia. “Are you here to free them?”

Pia shook her head. “I’m done with rebellion.” Tetsuo recoiled with an astonished look, which seemed to have made Pia feel a bit embarrassed. She sat down in front of the cell staring in. She took a deep breath and began to speak.

“In Natal, my parents were part of a cult. I don’t want to remember too much about it. All I know is that they worshipped them like gods. If they asked us to pray, we’d pray. When they asked for money, we’d give them everything we had and starve. So when they asked for me, I knew what was going to happen.

“When we were at Remes, I saw the same look I knew from my parents. People being sacrificed for desire. I thought to myself that I could never understand them. That what they did was irrational and inhuman. Except here we are, in front of my friends that I had left behind, all inside cells. All for our cause. The same as Remes, the same as my family. I wanted to think I was better, but honestly? I still can’t figure out when I became just like them.”

Pia sighed. “No more rebellion for me. I want to look after my friends.”

Tetsuo held out the keys to her again. “You sure? They’re right here…”

Again Pia shook her head. “You’re the one holding the keys. What do you want to do?”

What do I want?

I want her.

Tetsuo was immediately disgusted with the thought again. That feeling, that incessant immediate nagging, that he needed her. How did he do anything before she had arrived in Alvania? Sure he was searching for a way back to her, but what he was doing before was meaningful too. When Pia broke down in Remes he was there to help her. He was trying to get Alon to act on his feelings for Lunette. He was a knight and a smith, working to make life in Tervana better.

He was so much more than what he was now, after Bianca had arrived. It was easy to blame her. She marked the beginning of the end. Once she was there he ruined everything he had built up, trying to make her happy. But it’s not like she asked him to get drunk and fight Alon. It’s not like she was cheering him on as he pummeled rebels during day times raids. In fact, as he thought about it, she didn’t even force him to tell her what was going on. She just wanted some confirmation that–

I was going to do something…

For weeks, he had been living his life on standby, following commands, waiting for the opportunity to be with her again. Just like on Earth, everything fell by the wayside because he was waiting for her. Waiting for some signal that would tell him that now was the time to act. When she was with him, he felt like he was back on Earth, where no one else mattered and his life revolved around her. If he had stayed true to himself, maybe Bianca could have convinced Alon to make a move before Lunette kills him for making her wait so long. Maybe the rebellion wouldn’t be so anti-Alvanian if Tetsuo was helping to lead it. Maybe, if he had just continued being himself, she would have looked at him the same way she did at the altar, when they promised to be together forever. Not in service of each other, but as partners.

Tetsuo threw his head back and groaned loudly. “AGH… I get it! I get it now.”

Both Pia and the prisoner seemed startled by Tetsuo’s sudden outburst. Pia seemed legitimately concerned by Tetsuos behavior. He turned to her without straightening his neck.

“Pia, you are the most mature person I know, and that makes me sad. Actually, I guess it’s not their fault, it’s mine mostly.” Tetsuo started to rub his hair anxiously. “God, this is embarrassing. I’ve got so many people to apologize to. How many people were trying to say this?”

“Um, are you okay?”

“No! I’m terrible! Miserable! My wife left me, my friend beat me up, and I hate my job.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay! I’m sorry too. I put up with this for so long, for no real reason. I got in my head and created some version of everything where I thought I had to suffer so she could be happy!”

“She…?”

“But no more! I want clean water that I can drink anywhere. I want a house where I can live by myself, alone. I want my wife to know that I’m not some desperate obsessed loser. But first, I want to do something I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

Tetsuo rammed the key into the cell door and twisted it free. The locks clicked and he swung the door open. Tetsuo looked at the prisoner in the open cell, now finally free.

“How does it feel?”

The prisoner stood up and straightened their back, before they replied. 

“You tell me.”