Hail to the Cave King

The dark space seemed to stretch forever, and it was getting harder for the party to see one another. As they walked further, they began to hear a jingle at their feet; Something was being kicked around.

“Sounds like more gold coins,” Strauss commented. “We gotta get some light in here, fast.”

“Gehe.”

“I-I think I have an idea,” Agon grunted as he bent down and started to search along the floor.

“What are you doing, Agon?”

“Looking for a stick, or something flammable. I can use my Heartburn ability and make a torch.”

‘Are you sure? Last time you used your ability-”

“I-It’s fine. The intensity of the flames depends on how much pressure is applied. If I just lightly press into my chest, I should be fine. Ah! I think I got something!” Agon picked up a long stick and positioned it in front of his face. With his right palm, he lightly tapped his chest.

“HEARTBURN!” An orange glow swished around in his mouth, and he spat out an adorable little flame.

“Ah!” Strauss watched the flame flicker.

“Wow! That actually didn’t hurt me at all-” In the middle of his sentence, Agon looked back at the “stick” to see that it wasn’t a stick at all, but in fact a large human bone. “GYYYAH!” He dropped it to the ground, and the flame was snuffed out. He started wiping his hands on his vest. “Whywhywhywhywhyyyyyyyyy….” A loud rumble filled the space.

“On your guard, everyone!” Strauss planted his feet on the ground. The rumbling grew louder, and a bright light flashed. The four men slowly opened their eyes again to be greeted with the sight of a majestic throne room littered with treasure. There wasn’t a single inch of the entire room that wasn’t decorated with some kind of rare gem, jewel, or rare treasure.

"Hey, Kiche...Is...is that a golden shovel over there...?" Agon tried to make conversation with the mysterious boy while pointing to a strange shovel with a glass ball at the end of it, standing proudly atop a corner pile of riches.

"Gehee...Gehee...Gehee...Geheeeee..." He responded with a half-chuckle, half-song.

"R-right. Thanks for the uh...explanation...?"

A giant chandelier hung in the center, made entirely from gold coins; some dropped to the floor as it rocked back and forth. In the distance was a beautiful red and gold throne that housed the corpse of a man. His decaying body still appeared to have some sort of muscle. The holes within his flesh exposed his bones, which were encased in gold. A gorgeous crown sat slanted on his head. Strauss and the others slowly walked closer towards the center of the throne room. Agon was reluctant and tried to move forward without staring at the body.

“T-this place is...definitely something…” Agon whispered, trying to distract his mind.

“Gehehe…”

“Remember, everyone. Stay close, and don’t touch anything.”

As they walked closer towards the center, a coin fell from the chandelier and onto Mars’s head.

“O-ow…the heck-” As a natural human reflex, he reached upwards to check what hit him. His hand accidentally touched the coin, and it fell into his palm. “What the…” The others looked back to see him staring at the coin in his hand.

“MARS, NO!” Strauss yelled.

“No wait, I…” Before Mars could explain himself, the corpse of the man upon the throne began to rattle. His eye sockets began to glow with a golden hue.

“S-Strauss?!? What do we do?!?” Agon panicked.

“Well, for starters, you can thank Mars for setting things off. After that, you can get ready for the fight…!”

Agon looked at Mars, who was completely still. “M-Mars…?” There was no response. He hung his head, and his gaze never left that coin.

The corpse jittered as it got up from its luxurious seat. It looked at the party and tilted its head. It then saw Mars holding a coin in his hand, and his eyes glowed furiously. He let out an ear-piercing shriek that made all the treasure within the throne room vibrate.

“Gah…!” Agon fell to his knees and placed his palms as hard against his ears as he could. The gold corpse then extended his right arm. The bone that Agon used as a torch and the coin that was in Mars’s hand immediately flew into the corpse’s palm. He tossed the coin into his mouth and began to chew on it. When he swallowed, he followed up with the bone, shoving it down his throat as well. Just when he stuffed it all the way to the end, he quickly pulled it out. The bone had transformed into a golden broadsword.

“Hmph…Not a bad party trick,” Strauss said smugly.

“Strauss…w-what is this thing?!?” Agon said, rising back to his feet and taking his hands away from his ears.

“Everyone...Say hi to Zahmidas.” Strauss formally introduced the golden corpse as it let out another shrill battle cry. Zahmidas held his sword out towards Strauss, as if marking his first target. Strauss smirked and taunted him, encouraging him to come closer. Zahmidas obliged and leapt high into the air, bringing his golden sword down in a mighty slash. Strauss dug his heels into the pile of treasure and met Zahmidas’s blade with his own in a sturdy block. Agon and the others were knocked back by the force of the impact, yet Strauss held his ground.

“Impressive form…!” A gust of wind began to swirl around Strauss. “But what can you do against THIS?!? FEATHERWEIGHT!” The air that surrounded him absorbed into his body. He pushed Zahmidas’s blade off of his own. The corpse swung his sword right back down, only to find that Strauss had disappeared.

“Over here!” Strauss called. Zahmidas looked behind him to see Strauss sitting on his throne, examining his own sword. “Wow, this is even more comfy than I thought. Ugh, I gotta get this thing sharpened. You know how it is, huh?” The corpse screeched and charged at him. Right when he lunged at his throat, Strauss jumped in the air, causing Zahmidas to skewer the back of his chair. He looked up and saw Strauss delicately floating down towards him. He landed perfectly on the corpse's blade, balancing on the tips of his toes. “Man…I was just starting to take a nap, too.” Zahmidas looked in confusion. In the blink of an eye, Strauss drove his foot right into his face, sending him flying while his sword was still plunged into the chair. Strauss kept his balance perfectly, like he was balancing on a tightrope. Agon watched in awe.

“Strauss's magic is incredible…!”

The sword of Zahmidas began to wiggle under Strauss’s feet. He leapt into the air once again and looked down as the sword darted out from the throne's back cushion. Zahmidas, who fell into a pile of treasure, caught his sword back in his hand and raised it high in the air. From beneath the pile of treasure, a double-headed golden snake with ruby-red eyes popped out, letting out a menacing hiss. Zahmidas hopped on top of the dual serpent’s back with incredible speed, heading right for Strauss. Zahmidas jumped off the serpent’s back and threw a handful of coins in Strauss’s face.

“Ack..! H-hey!!!” As we swatted the coins away, he saw Zahmidas with his sword already above his head, ready to chop Strauss in half. He brought it down with amazing power. Strauss put his sword above his head in another attempt to block. The might of the corpse's golden blade was too strong, and sent Strauss straight down, crashing back into the throne; the collision made the chair fall apart.

“Ngh…Great. Now we're BOTH gonna have to keep standing.” He croaked.

Kiche watched as Strauss was struggling to get up. He took his left hand and drew his rapier from its scabbard. Agon turned around as he watched Kiche bend his knees and point his weapon forward.

“Kiche…?”

“Gehe…GEHEHE!” With a guttural cackle, Kiche sprang forward through the sea of riches. The quick sound of jingling made Zahmidas turn his head away from Strauss. He took his sword and called the dual-headed serpent once again. The snake slithered in to catch him. He rode confidently on its back as he aimed his gilded blade, ready to cut Kiche down; yet Kiche was steadfast in his steps, only picking up more speed. The serpent watched its prey skitter across the floor and dove down to try and catch it in its teeth.

“Gehe! Gehe!” Kiche snickered to himself as he leapt out of the way with a graceful aerial cartwheel. The second head of the snake took its turn to snare the boy in its maw, but it was too slow as well; Kiche twirled out of harm’s way. The serpent had filled its jaws with shiny pieces of gold and other pieces of wealth, but not once sunk its teeth into Kiche’s skin. He landed in front of the beast and took a bow as he reset his stance.

“He’s so nimble…it doesn’t even look like he’s fighting! It’s almost like he’s dancing with the snake!!!” Agon stared at the fight in astonishment, but his fascination quickly disappeared as the creature hissed again. He looked up to see one of the twin heads staring right into his eyes.

“W-wait…” The other head caught wind and fixed its gaze. Agon began to scoot back, his grip failing as his hands sank into the coin piles. The serpent slithered forward, lowering its head and opening its maws as wide as it could. Agon ducked and barely brushed against the bottom of their chins as they slinked past.

“Gehehe!!!” Kiche yelled out as he turned to see Agon being attacked. As he ran towards him, Zahmidas dismounted from the snake to block his path, swinging his sword in a diagonal chop. Kiche parried it and responded to the corpse’s attack with a rapid succession of thrusts at his center, which were all blocked by his gleaming blade.

“Watch your back!” Strauss called out from behind Zahmidas. He slightly turned his head to see the proud warrior heading towards him at full speed.

“STEEL TWISTER!” Strauss’s body was perfectly vertical in the air. He clutched his sword close, pushing his other hand into the pommel. He began to rotate his body, the speed rapidly increasing. A pillar of wind encased him and sharpened at the tip of his blade like a giant drill. Kiche jumped out of the way, allowing for Strauss to fully drive into Zahmidas’s back with all his might. He ripped through his rotting torso and landed in front of him as the winds subsided. Zahmidas looked down at the hole in his chest and belted out a blood-curdling screech. He then began to scoop as much gold and treasure as he could into his hands and pour it into his mouth. After he chewed and swallowed, the hole in his chest began to glow; The wound was replaced with a golden scar.

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t ya?” Strauss muttered to himself as he studied Zahmidas’s putrid flesh. “Guess I’ll just have to keep you from doing any more snacking!” Strauss sprinted at him. “Round two, let’s go!”