Chapter Five

I felt cold. Before thought, before words, before anything else, I felt cold. There was no pain, no crusted tears over my cheeks, no warmth from what seemed to be blood on my fingers. Just cold. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want to see what was waiting for me. The cold seemed bad. If I was going somewhere rewarding, I would have felt warmth. And I didn’t. Which meant that I was wrong, and Dawn was right. I didn’t earn what I achieved. I stole what belonged to Dawn because I was given the number one spot, just like I had been given everything else. I deserved this cold, and whatever else awaited me. I kept my eyes closed. This time however, I knew I had to open them and accept my punishment.

But my body told me that I had no strength to do so. I knew better. It was the little bit of hope left inside me that said that I did nothing wrong, that I didn’t deserve this. The more I found myself in this state, the more feelings began to return to me. The strongest one now, was pity. I felt sorry for that little voice, not being able to see the truth. I began to feel the ground beneath me, a collection of moist dirt and tiny pebbles. Knowing that I’d soon have the strength to move around the rest of my body, I tried to smile. I deserve all of this, I thought. I moved my fingers, confirming that I could now move my body. I raised my arm and moved it towards my eyelids. Every single thing that will happen to me from here on out, will be my reward for the ignorant, selfish, and greedy actions I took. I reached my eyes and forced them open, to welcome the new world in front of me.