Chapter Forty-Four

We arrived at the broken walls above Nina’s place as the last bit of light left the ground. Nina rested on one of the walls, laughing in between her breaths. My body held on to hers, not wanting to let go. I watched as I joined in with her laugh, not wanting to change anything. After some time, Nina stood up and removed the rocks and opened the door. She motioned to my body to go down first, leaving me in Nina’s arm. She followed afterwards, sliding down as the door closed behind her. It wasn’t until we sat down on the couch that she placed me back on my body. We looked at each other and laughed again, not knowing what to say. We sat in silence for a while before Nina stood up and headed to her bedroom door.

“If I’m being honest, I completely forgot that we were supposed to be looking for the beach,” she said with a laugh.

“Makes sense,” I said. “Agnes, more important. Another day. Try again.” Nina smiled.

“If it’s out there, it won’t be going anywhere. It’ll wait for us. And we’ll just have to find it.” She held the doorknob in her hand, but I couldn’t see the door open. “Best friends. It really does make me smile when I say it.” Nina’s face started to shade itself red again. She looked ahead, not wanting to go in just yet.

“Best friends, do they love each other?” she asked with a voice that was just loud enough for me to hear. Though I expected to hear that question, I didn’t think it would have been tonight. She turned to me. “Because right now, I’m feeling those three things that are always there when we talk like this. And this time, they feel much more intense.” I felt my heart accelerate again. There were so many things I wanted to say to her right now, but none of them felt right because I didn’t know what I was feeling either.

“Difficult. Not sure.” I said turning away. I heard her footsteps approach me.

“We’ve been through a lot of difficult things,” she said looking at me. “Is love really so complicated that we can’t solve it together?” I tried to avoid her eye contact, but her presence surrounded me.

“Together, still difficult. At times, fear.”

“I think you know more than you’re letting on.” She sat down next to me again. “I’ve told you so many times now. You don’t have to be afraid around me, even with something like this.” I heard her voice become a whisper as she took my hand. “Tomorrow, instead of going outside to look again, let’s stay in and figure this thing out.” I watched her smile form, accentuating the redness above it.

“Figure out love,” I said. “Together.”

“Together.” Her hands were hot, sharing more than just warmth. She stood up and walked to her door again, taking slow steps, wanting to stay with me. She opened the door and looked back one more time.

“Sweet dreams,” she said. Those words were enough to take my breath away today.

“Sweet dreams,” I responded. Nina’s stillness told me that I did the same to her. She walked in and closed the door as I lied down on the couch, feeling my smile stick to me as I fell asleep.