Chapter 25

After Yama left the room, the party quickly devolved into chaos.

In a frenzy, guests started to gorge themselves on food and drink; in around ten minutes, the table had been emptied.

Then, the Raksha began to sing, causing others to start dancing and swaying to the music. Some of the house staff even brought out some instruments Jason didn't recognize and began to play as the feasting tables were wheeled out of the room, turning it into an open space.

Despite the festivities warming up, Jason stood up and began to walk towards the entrance. He wasn’t in a festive mood after all that had happened today.

He began to stroll listlessly towards the door as the party raged on behind him, the sound of screams eventually being replaced by the silence of the garden.

…

Jason thought as he walked around outside the mansion; in his very brief exploration, he had circled around the side of the palace, finding a garden of flowers he had never seen anywhere else in Naraka, all of different reddish hues. They seemed to shimmer with a glossy light as he passed by; they were lightly frosted with snow before cycling to become vibrant once again.

Eventually, he came upon a black metal bench.

He sat down, realizing his seat overlooked the edge; he could see the entirety of Shin-je laid bare in front of him.

The city was illuminated from below by the light of fire and torches from the streets, with the spirits in the sky glowing with their usual swell of warm colors. It had become oddly comforting in the sunless sky to have something overhead besides stars.

He sat alone for a while, breathing in the crisp air, and his breath turned white as it left his lips.

When he had been on earth, he found winter air comforting, but having it with no certainty of warmth created a turning in his stomach.

Trying to ignore the feeling, he closed his eyes, listening to the blowing of the wind instead of watching it.

“Can I sit with you?”

Appearing behind Jason silently enough to shock his eyes open, Biji was leaning over him, meeting eyes briefly before she hopped onto the bench, joining him in peering off the railing.

“It's nice looking down at Shin-je like this, right?” She seemed somber as she looked down at the city. “When I was much, much younger, I and my friends would, once in a while, sneak up onto the mountainside below us to get a view of the place.”

She then pushed herself off from the railing, settling deep onto the bench.

“That really was like a lifetime ago.” She chuckled.

Jason laid his arm across the back of the chair as he sat back, joining Biji. “I know what you mean. It feels like forever ago that I was home, looking at the lights of the city with my friends too.”

“Do you miss it?”

She pulled her knees to her chest, tapping her foot on the bench as she asked. Jason was quiet for a moment.

“It feels weird… No, it feels awful to say, but the longer I stay here, the less I do.”

Biji’s head tilted towards him in confusion, her eyebrows knitted. “But you talk about your home, your life back in Manuya, so much, I thought that you wanted to go back more than anything.”

He just shrugged. “It started out that way, but the more I’ve thought about it, especially over the last little bit, the more I've questioned what’s there for me when I get back. After all this, I don’t know if I can go back to the life I was living before.”

He let his arm drop from the back of the bench, falling around Biji’s shoulder.

“I’ve had more fun here, even with all the stupid crap we’ve been through, than I ever had living on earth. I’ve made better friends here than I ever had back home too. Thinking back on it, even though I called them my friends, I’ve been struggling to even remember some of their names.”

He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“I don't want to go along with what Yuzo’s planning, so what if I just stayed with you… guys?” he muttered before clearing his throat.

“I really don't know what I'd do if I never saw you again. I’ve never had people in my life that mattered that much to me besides Yuzo and Emma, and with both of them gone, I don’t know—”

Biji put a finger to his lips, gazing at him with a pained smile.

“Jae, if you want to stay here, I need to know. Is it because you want to be in Naraka and really build a life here?”

She then dropped her finger from his lips, placing her hand onto his lap as she chuckled lightly.

“Or are you running away from home? Because you shouldn’t make a decision you’re going to regret.”

Turning a shade of crimson, Jason moved his arm from her shoulder before turning away hastily. “S-sorry. I wasn't even thinking about if you guys wanted me here or the logistics; that was silly of me. Forget I said anything; I can't just live in the office room after all…”

“A-ah no! That isn't what I was saying at all!” Biji grabbed his shoulders, pulling him to face her.

“I’d love more than anything else for you to stay here!” I don't know what I'm going to do if you leave, honestly! You’re the first person I’ve met in a very, very long time who doesn’t…”

Her voice trailed off as a tear formed in her eye.

“Who doesn't make me feel like I'm nothing.” Her face grew pained as her fingertips pressed into Jason’s shoulders shakily.

“Before you got here, the others barely looked at me. Somehow, you being here has changed them all. They feel like family now, instead of just my coworkers who I was gonna kill someday.”

Biji averted her gaze for a moment as she put her legs back on the ground before facing him once more.

“But I don't want to be selfish. I heard what you said to me, and I want you to know that… I want what's best for you. Even if things go back to how they were before.”

Taking his hand, she began to squeeze slightly, causing Jason’s breath to catch in his throat.

“But promise me that… that you'll stop neglecting yourself. Take care of yourself before you go running after Earth or even something here. Above anything else, choose yourself.”

Jason couldn't hold it anymore. He began to laugh until his stomach hurt, causing Biji to go a bright grapish purple.

“W-w-what did I say that was so funny!? I'm trying to be genuine with you, and you're laughing at me?”

To her own surprise, Biji began to sniffle slightly as tears poured down the sides of her cheeks. “I thought… You really are the worst!”

Calming himself down once he saw Biji’s tears, Jason quickly took the sleeve of his jacket and began to wipe the corners of her eyes, causing her to swat at him.

“Cut that out! Mixed signals, much?”
With a sigh, Jason looked down at Biji, a smile across his face. A real one.

“Sorry for laughing, forgive me. I was just thinking that it's funny it's you, out of anyone, to be telling me to look out for myself.”

“Huh!? Why's that?” She growled, wiping her remaining tears.

"Because you have been throwing yourself into harm's way since I got here, just to keep me safe! At first I thought it was you just being nice, but then after a while, I realized… you’re doing the same thing as me, and you know it.”

This time, Jason took Biji’s hand, causing the purple of her cheeks to worsen.

“So, since you’re asking me for one, I want you to make the same promise. I’m not allowed to throw myself away, but you have to stop running from what you want. Deal?”

Bashfully, Biji looked away from Jason, letting out one final sniffle before sighing.
“Deal.”

For the first time in a long time, the air was warm in Naraka.

The two sat on the bench for a while, not saying much and staring up at the stars as the sound of the palace faded into the background.

“This is nice.” Biji continued fiddling with his chain as the two looked up at the sky.

“... Yeah, it is.”