Bear Your Armour

Chimi opened her eyes to her ceiling two days later, and the faint smell of blood lingered overhead like an omen of doom. She brushed her nose with a finger… the scent faded, but she could still see the hateful eyes, the feral gnashing teeth, the gushing of blood. Her grip on the sword, the cutting of the neck. And back, far in the back of the recesses of her mind, she wanted to improve her ability to decapitate. Chimi gripped her pillow and hurled it across the room.Almiko, keeper of balance, I ask for guidance. Caeliarin, mother of stars, guide Ravellnami and Kellrayi home so that they may show me the way of stars. Wisdom, Risis, maiden of seals and everlasting knowledge. Sanctify our fellows, sanctify my soul, in this time of coming woes, craft me into the woman that is needed.She kept her eyes closed for a long while to bask in the early moments of peace in the darkness of early morning. She knew at this point in her life, since her ‘awakening.’ She needed answers on Ravalel and why the lie about her birth was spun… if she were so important— no, she had to stop those thoughts. She is important at this point in their history. So why did Ravalel lie? She swung up out of bed and splashed warm water from the bowl that her mother had left in her room. The sounds of those men and the words they muttered in prayer to their mothers, fathers, wives, and children. She looked at her spear by the side of her bed, the shield right next to it. She punched the wall, again and again. Then screamed into the pillow on the floor.She splashed water onto her face again after standing up and glared at herself in a reflection-less mirror that reflected nothing but a void at her. Out of the window by lantern light, she spotted a few soldiers on their way up, familiar people from platoon five. Men of Emmerlaine who went to guard their families, like those soldiers from Odibrand and Crystolle who sought the same. She’d broken their homes, shattered lives, forced families into mourning.And she would do it to hundreds of thousands of people.Such is to walk the blood and steel— bloodied snow path. Such walks the Empress… but she needed a reason for them to submit, a reason beyond simple ideas of coming disaster. She brushed her hair a few dozen times before she tied it back in a low ponytail. Took off her undergarments and put on linens. Stuck her ponytail underneath the shirt.“Seventeen minutes.” She whispered to herself.Ninety push-ups, fifty sit-ups, twenty pull-ups, four minutes of plank and sixty squats. She wiped the sweat from her brow, seventeen minutes. Nothing like the ridiculous feats of some of the men, she heard Gibson was only rivalled by Egeon, Dad and the other captains, and he was still shoulders above them. Truly a miracle of a soldier, as dad would say. She chucked the lukewarm water over herself and wiped it away with a rag, then set to don her gambeson. She placed her helmet on and gave it a tug for good measure.“You’re a soldier, war and Everwinter.” She whispered.Dad knocked at the door, and Chimi pulled it open. The man stood there, Gambeson and armour breastplates over his torso, shoulders and legs, all earned and handcrafted for his achievements. His brown eyes, still cold as ever, his face devoid of emotion. He placed his big hands on her shoulders.“You look like your mother, fitting for battle.”She narrowed her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile.“You stand like she does, hair like snow, air of a dignified Emmerlaine soldier. Now you’ve trained your right arm, you can wield it in both.”“I will become the empress.” She glanced at her spear, and another thought entered her mind to inspire people to follow. Audacious with the other warriors’ presence, she would keep it down and bury it in herself. If I did become the spear saint under the sun, none would be able to deny me.Dad turned to mum, who waited in the corridor, “I’ll leave you to your women’s business.” He gave Chimi’s shoulders a squeeze and marched downstairs.Mum swept her up in an embrace, “Are you certain you have everything, the pack-in lunch for today, your linens, you’re prepared to learn and make sure you have your broadsword and carry a spare spear, you’re sure about your saddle too?”“Mother.” Chimi gripped her, “I’ll be fine, I trained for this, and I am your daughter. I’ve practised and done all the exercises, you made me paint things after a second of looking at them.”“Yes, yes, I simply… you’re so grown up now.” Mother loosened her grip to look at Chimi and fuss over her gambeson and helmet, “Eighteen years old and going out to northwest Alba…” She pulled away, “I have something for you. Wait here.” She blinked tears away and went back to her room. She returned shortly after with a breastplate with roses carved into it, shoulder plates and a gauntlet up to her forearm. “Keep your shield arm safe.”Chimi slipped her hand into the gauntlet and gave it a few tests for mobility. It fit perfectly. Then she pulled on the breastplate, pauldrons onto her shoulders and then the gauntlet lastly. Tested and true, she gave her mother a nod, then a salute.Mum gave each piece a light thump with her fists. She sniffed back tears and cupped Chimi’s cheeks with her warm, gentle hands. “Oh, Chichi, you’re going out as a warrior of Emmerlaine. As Rasu’s given.” She closed her eyes.Chimi watched her mother’s face for a while longer, feeling as if this may be the last time she sees her. She could pick out every wrinkle of joy from each wrinkle of war cry. Her hair was more silver than Chimi’s, her nose a small bit larger. Her laugh lines weren’t too visible, but Chimi could see them clearly with how her vision had changed. Chimi closed her eyes, just like her mother.“Maiden of Seals, Maiden of Wisdom. Safeguard Chichi on her travels, grant her wisdom, bind her spirit with the blessings of Ygriar, the Lady of The Lake. May your rivers flow and winds blow in her favour. Murala, shine, and the sleeping star encapsulate her in luminous light.”They stood in silence for a time before Chimi decided it was time to go.“Thank you, mother.”Mother drew a shaky breath and placed her hands on Chimi’s shoulders, “Gods walk in your shadow, Chichi,” she said, “Our shining star, may our ancestors watch you through the winds of Everwinter’s heart.”Down the stairs, she saw Dad leaning on the wall with the pipe he only smoked on rare occasions between his lips. It smelled of some kind of strange flower. Chimi wanted to spit when the rotten smell hit her nostrils and horse-kicked her stomach. “Father, that is revolting.”“Something’s different about this deployment.” He said quietly, “That difference, I am certain, started with your waking, child.” He put out the pipe with a gauntleted thumb, a puff of smoke gave out, and he set it atop the cabinet and pushed the door open to the ghostly cold air. She could still smell blood, still hear the faint screams and curses in the back of her mind.She followed him out into the snowy town and shut the door behind her. Charles waited outside with both of their horses, the horse he had ridden, he offered to Chimi. A united Steppe would have more resources, allowing it to refine their forces even more. A unit of soldiers for each specialisation, and perhaps an elite unit she could be a member of until she was ready to ascend to a commanding role. She clenched her fists and took the reins. If she could reach the pinnacle of being a spirit of war of some kind, like Gareth of Iron or Ashworth, maybe even Thomas Mayne. If she could follow the examples of those great men, she would be able to make herself into a worthy woman.She swung up and mounted Charles’ horse and offered him a hand for him to mount up, but the man refused and insisted that ‘he needed to take a bloody walk.’“Chimi,” Dad said from a short trot ahead.Chimi clicked her tongue for the horse to trot forward on the uneven ground, and Charles followed by her side. She stole a look at the man, granted, she would have a lot of men to look at that she could attempt no romance with. But that was just part of her life now, her saliva tasted of bitter iron. She distracted herself with the initial objective, looked down at Charles again, and he was a few years her senior but still stood shorter than her. Under his bowl cut was a handsome face, he was too pretty to be her type. But a nice, quiet fellow, unlike most of The Blades.She returned her eyes to Emmerlaine’s street, the rock and wood town lit by lantern and candle, had streets that slowly filled with soldiers and their families wishing them goodbye. Blessings of the West Gods and the Fundament on their kin. They prayed for strength, for guidance of their blades to the enemy. They prayed for violence, Chimi could taste the ferine sanguine saliva in her mouth as if their prayers touched her. Violence.She certainly did not want to forge an empire with bloodthirsty wolves. She loved her people, but she and they all shared this ingrained love for violence in their bones. Warmongering, death-dealing desires in their blood. An itch to lose the chains of the mind and become a berserker in the centre of a bloodbath under feral snowstorms and Everwinter. She gripped the reins and wished they had more books with other people’s understandings of humanity and rule. Perhaps a new religion, a new form of belief to centre it around. She needed something. She heard the crumple of flesh, the spurts of boiling blood and the gargling sounds of a man when his throat was crushed by an unprepared sword-arm.Now past the pubs and market areas, stone homes, two or three stories high, where smoke had already started to puff out of chimneys. Soldiers left their homes to begin the march in the gentle cold. Salutes to her father and Charles, uncertain nods and a few salutes were given to Chimi. She tugged her helmet down and wanted something to chew.The gates of Emmerlaine featureless anaemic fieldstone like the rest of the wall, blank and sapped of art by the ghosts of war. The shadows that loomed over them all lived within and without. Egeon rode on horseback, her eyes fell to the sword strapped on his side, the same sword he had given her for education. To prove herself capable of killing other human beings. She saluted Gibson, he returned the gesture. The lines were over halfway formed, with platoons four and five fully lined and ready for the march. Gibson and his Blades were still kept in the fifth, likely to their annoyance.Far on the left, she observed Eleanor and her mages approach slowly, with only Eleanor on horseback leading a group of eight horses toward them. She followed her father to the head of the pack, stood beside Egeon and the other captains. He raised his spear.“Today, the campaign to unite the Steppe begins, Asheluna, gods be willing, will confirm the belief of Chimi’s blessings. Once you complete your mission in Asheluna, we will begin the grand campaign for the New Rosomona Alliance and cleanse the blight. The Steppe will be whole once again, under the sun of Aetia, for the fundament and for the west, for Emmerlaine!”Warcries, including her own, filled the town of Emmerlaine. From the soldiers to the women and children who stayed home with weapons drawn on display in their homes, out of windows, doors and behind fences.