Collection 1

Jelly Larva

“Wawawawah!”

“Come on, Ai-chu!” said Kanako chasing her around with a jelly caterpillar—which looked unnervingly like the real one. “You like sweets, right?”

Rikako sighed in frustration. “You guys. Can’t you keep your antics out of the clubroom? I’m trying to focus on my Math review!”

“Eh,” dismissed Anju. “What’s a clubroom for? You watch out Rika-chan, you’ll turn into an old maid if you keep that up.”

“If you would excuse me,” she replied very primly, “a clubroom is still part of the school premises, so I see nothing wrong in doing schoolwork here.”

In the meantime, Shuka was equally icked at the thing as Ai. “K-Kan-chan,” she moaned, “keep that down, will ‘ya? The… the club next door will get mad at us.” A fine excuse.

Kanako halted and huffed. “Fine, fine! I understand you don’t share my taste in pets. Don’t worry, you won’t see this thing ever again.”

Collective sigh of relief.

But all of a sudden, she opened her mouth wide and dangled the jelly over it, much to everybody’s horror. “Kan-chan, no!”

Just then, Yoshiyuki came up and snatched it away… and gobbled it up himself. And then, “Blech!”

They all blanched. “N-No way!” cried Kanako. “That wasn’t real, zura! Or was it… after all????”

He staggered out the door and ran over to the toilet where he... posed. “I take a jelly larva—and eat it!”

English Master

“Tell us, Nanjou-senpai,” said Rikako one day when Anna visited. “What is it that you look for in a club?”

The others didn’t so much as make a rustle, gazing and waiting.

“She can’t answer that,” commented Yoshiyuki. “Senpai’s been to boarding school. You think they have time for mundane Japanese ideas like clubs?”

Well. Anna cleared her throat a little. To be sure, they did have the Leo Tolstoy Society, but she was not so sure if they even remember the guy if ever they heard of him in the classroom, so she pondered her words for a moment.

“Yoshiyuki,” Shuka chided, “of course they have a club. Only, of course, they don’t speak Japanese… much?”

Anju stood up. “Then that means they’re into English! Ne, Nanjou-senpai, what does ‘Harasho’ mean?”

Anna was taken aback. She can’t speak Eigo all that fluently, much less a Slavic tongue, she vastly preferred a Romance language. But as the whole club was staring at her this whole time and she had barely said anything so far, she felt she obliged them. “Harasho? It means, ‘I want cake.’ ”

“Whooooh,” they chorused.

There goes your Tolstoy expert, she thought embarrassingly. Can anyone ask something about Spanish now?

“Ne, Nanjou-senpai,” continued Anju, “what about ‘cowabunga?’ ”

Everybody’s eyes were on her.

“It means ‘I need the restroom.’ ”

“Whoa!”

“OK Madam, can you say something in English?”

For real?!

“Ahem! Errrr…. Sah-ry! Ah kan’t speek Jeppaneeze.”

Wild applause ensued. Honestly, she had expected a snicker or two, but now that she was well-received, she straightened up. “Cahm owwwn babe, ask me anything!”

Aqua Class

“Nanan-chan,” said Anju one day when she visited the club, “can you please teach a swimming course sponsored by Aquasports?”

“Hm? But I already teach some of the classes in here. A separate course will only be redundant.”

“No it won’t. I know some of my own classmates who’d love to have you again!”

“But I’m not sure if the Director will let me. I can’t ask that much when I’m only a visiting instructor.”

“Then why did they bother to have you over to begin with? You’re a bigshot in Nankaisei, Nanan-chan, so act like one! If the Director says no, then I’ll ask Kubo-senpai, you’re chums, right? I heard not even Dr. Ito can say no to her.”

She took on a worried look. “Isn’t that an abuse of power?”

“Don’t you care about my grades?! It’s a club I’m admin in we’re talking about!”

“An-chan, you can’t rely on being a club officer for all of your academic standing if—”

“Please!”

Sigh. “Alright….” This girl.... Just then, however, she caught on to something. “I know! Why not I teach you the basics, and then you hold a class of your own?”

“Then I would be the redundant one. More importantly, a swimming class, any water class, they draw takers only if the instructor’s…” She looked Nanaka over. “Ahem.”

“Don’t you worry, An-chan,” she said sunnily. “Here and now I guarantee you’re good enough to teach at the cruise.”

An-chan’s mouth hung. “Seriously?! Don’t you dare turn my head!”

“Of course not. We’re childhood chums, when did I ever hoodwink you?”

She brightened up. “Oh my!” she said fumbling about and blushing. “I never realized I can get so popular with the Tokyo folk! A-And there’ll be gaijin and whatnot! I’ll be getting an American boyfriend!”

And so! At the cruise!

Shuka was having the time of her life leading the mommies and grannies in water exercises. “An-chi,” she yelled to the poolside, “come on! Put that figure to work, you!”

Anju only chuckled drily. “I’m way sexier just sitting around, you know.”