Dio - Leavetaking (1)

Dio forced back the blindness in his thoughts by clinging to his connections with the others, to the things he had learned from them. In that way, he barely subdued the emptiness. The shadow was still there, standing in the doorway; yet now it seemed small and pitiful, and the two spheres trembled. He felt a familiar warmth, one that had become almost second nature in his thoughts, and wondered why he hadn’t noticed it earlier…

Brela… is… is that you?

No answer came, only a painful moan.

Dio leapt up and ran to her. All he could hear was her breathing, ragged and uneven. Carefully, he touched her, but she did not respond. His hands searched gently along her arms and across her chest, hesitating as he felt for possible wounds. Aside from tense muscles and sweat-soaked hands, there was nothing he could immediately find.

“Brela… Brela, what happened?” he asked.

Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the moonlight, and he saw her glancing around cautiously, as if she didn’t even know where she was. Then her hands clutched at his shoulders and she began to sob violently, burying her face in his loose nightshirt.

“I… Oh, by the Sun, I… Dio, I don’t know what that was, just now… I…” she sniffled, and Dio held her gently against him.

“I don’t know either. You were frozen and—”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I was… somewhere else, Dio. Somewhere else…”

Des and Arur appeared in the open doorway, also drawn by her scream. When Brela saw Des, she fell into his arms and began to cry again. Dio noticed how stiff and helpless Des became, looking to him for direction. Dio only nodded, and Des patted Brela’s head softly. More neighbors arrived, some armed with shears and hoes. Their fearful murmurs filled the room until Arur calmed them and blocked the doorway, keeping the others out.

After Brela had calmed down a little, Dio pointed toward the chairs around the table and rummaged through one of the cupboards. He pulled out some clay cups, which he soon filled with cranberry juice.

“Here,” he said. Brela sat down hesitantly, not letting go of Des’ hand, and with her other trembling hand took the cup.

At first she only sipped at it, her gaze sinking into the deep red liquid. At last she steadied herself somewhat and drank the bitter juice greedily.

Outside the window, people were still milling around, as Dio saw when he peeked through the curtains.

“You’ve certainly brought a lot of life into the night,” he tried to joke, though his voice trembled and the attempt fell flat.

Still, Brela forced a brief smile, though it never reached her eyes. Dio felt a chill, and sweat began to run down his back. His hands shook even more. He remembered how she normally would have reacted, back when things were normal and she hadn’t woken in the middle of the night…

“You said you were somewhere else, Brela. What did you mean?” he whispered.

Only if you want to talk about it, Des added, giving Dio a worried look.

Even if the old man did not show it outright, Dio caught the faint trembling of his beard, and he noticed how Des’ hands were turning an unhealthy shade of yellow.

Dio nodded quickly in agreement.

Brela looked at him, then at Des, and drew a deep breath.

“While I was meditating… that’s when it happened. I’m usually in my garden, you know, only it’s larger and more splendid there. It’s arranged in circles, layered almost like a small structure, and I love it. Yet lately, there are corners that feel wrong. I don’t dare go to some spots anymore, because they've become damp and they stink, and the Light slips away. Still, part of me wants to, because I hope to find my berries there. So tonight, I went farther than before…”

She swallowed and wrung her hands. Des gently placed his own hands around hers. She gave him a questioning glance, but went on.

“It isn’t green there. A path leads into the dark undergrowth. The trees are dense and the bushes are cold; they make me shiver. And there, in the mud that replaces the fertile earth, there’s a trampled track leading into the darkness. How did it form? What walked there to make it? By the Circle, I don’t know. It looked old, ancient, and I had never stepped on it—until tonight…”

“Brela, why didn’t you ever tell us about this? Why didn’t you ask us?” Dio demanded, staring at her in shock.

“But… don’t I have to find myself? Don’t I have to do that on my own? You said Ray had to do it alone, didn’t you? That’s why she left you? Your words echoed again and again inside me, as if to give me strength, Dio…” she said, then suddenly broke off.

“No! She’s lucid. She has to learn to control her Light. What were you supposed to learn to control? That’s not the same thing! Brela, that—!” he burst out, and she flinched.

“Dio…?” Des asked, and for the first time since they had met, his voice carried an icy edge. He drew a protective arm around Brela.

Taking a deep breath, Dio stepped back from them, running his hands through his hair.

“Damn it, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry, it’s just… Why would you walk into the darkness?” he asked.

Brela shook her head.

“I… the berries… I have to find them…” she sobbed.

Dio slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor, exhausted.

“And then…?” he asked tonelessly.

It’s pointless to get worked up about it. It already happened…

“I went in there, and the path… it disappeared. I fell, deeper and deeper. It felt like I was moving far away from myself, from my garden… and there I was, trapped among gray, festering growths, bubbling rivers that spewed rot and foul stench. It was the worst place I’ve ever seen, worse than anything I could have imagined. Another place… in another world? That’s how it felt…”

Dio went ice cold and wrapped his arms around his legs.

“How did you escape, Brela?” Des asked so quietly it was barely audible.

She looked up, turned away, and stayed silent for a long while.

“I don’t know. I had to scream and then it all blurred. I was pulled back. I wanted to return to you. And suddenly I was back in my bed. But the feeling of that vile, rotten place, it was still there, as if it had followed me. I ran—I ran to Dio. I don’t know why, but I think I hoped you would have answers for me…” she finished.

Exhausted, Dio looked up at her.

“What am I supposed to know? That sounds terrible, almost like a wound of the mind. But I have no clue about such things…”

His voice faltered as a thought struck him, chilling him even further. He longed for closeness too, for Ray’s embrace and her Light…

“Is… is the feeling still there?” he asked, though he didn’t really want to know.

He only wanted this to stop, for everything to be normal again.

“No, it’s gone…” she said after a moment, offering him a weak smile.

“Whatever it was, it’s gone. I only hope it doesn’t come back…”

Des nodded and patted her head, and before long they left the house. Dio gave them a faint wave. From outside, louder voices reached him—voices he had perhaps tuned out before. He ignored them and tried to steady his thoughts. Only when Des returned much later did Dio look up and notice that the Sun had already risen.

“How is she?” he asked, scrambling to his feet.

Des ran a hand through his beard, calm again in the way Dio was used to seeing him.

“That’s not it. She’s fine. This is about Lot and Avee.”

“What about them?”

Dio blinked.

No, don’t let anything have happened to them. Not them too…

“They want to leave.”