Beginning to the end

Adam: You know… What really is love? Isn’t love kinda weird? Like, who invented that shit?

???: Damn bro… you’re right. Love is fucked up.

In the dimly lit bar, there were no customers except for the two idiots that were daydrinking together. Sadly, I was one of them.

Adam: I’ve lost track at how long we’ve been running around together… At this point is it love, or is it codependence? Like parasites we strangle one another. Into the darkness slowly suffocating each other.

Luckily, this country has no laws against underage drinking. Otherwise I couldn’t be doing this.

Drunk guy: When you put it that way, it sounds kinda romantic, you know? Like, I want something like that! I’m just here… sad and alone…. I thought she loved me but she just stole my money and left.

After taking a swig I moved to console my newfound friend.

Adam: Wait, holdon a sec… what if it was, like, a scenario where she loved you but needed the money to save her family… or something. And what if it was a suuuper hard decision for her, like “I love you… but we can’t be together anymore!” I mean you never know…

Drunk guy: heh, you’ve been reading too many romance novels my guy. She left a note telling me to go fuck myself.

Adam: …damn

…

Adam: well that girl izza’ bitch! That’s beyond fucked up!

I patted my friend on the back to cheer him up.

Drunk guy: Thanks bro… but I still love her even now… I don’t know why. Love is kinda just weird like that sometimes.

I nodded and we both sat in silence as we drank.

Blam!

Someone kicked open the door and ran inside.

Raya: Pax! I thought you might be here but damn is it disappointing! Hurry up and—

Adam: RAYA!

From across the room I flew into her arms. It had been over 6 hours since I had last seen her so I had been starting to get withdrawal symptoms.

She caught my face with the palm of her hand and whispered to me in an aggressive tone.

Raya: Not now Adam, Kael is only a town away at the moment. We need to leave immediately. Also, don’t call me by my real name in public, we don’t know who’s listening.

Raya’s words instantly sobered me up a little bit.

I waved goodbye to my drinking buddy and we left the bar.

After stopping by our hotel and picking up all of our belongings, we immediately left the small town.

By now we were used to this. Every few weeks we would switch towns or live somewhere in the forest, living off the local wildlife.

Adam: So our next stop is Fulova?

Raya: That's right.

Adam: Anything interesting there?

Raya: Apparently it smells bad there recently.

Adam: Hah, that’s kinda funny. Know the reason why?

Raya: No.

Adam: What kind of smell is it? Shit? Corpses?

Raya: both.

Adam: I could probably figure out a way to deactivate your sense of smell or make certain smells not as strong. Wanna try it?

Raya: no.

What’s up with these one word answers? Usually she would respond to my shitty joke with another joke.

Maybe I should try changing the subject?

Adam: How’s the war doing these days?

Raya: People are dying on both sides.

Adam: How long do you think it'll take until were strong enough to beat Kael?

Raya: Not sure… probably however long it takes for him to die on his own of old age.

Okay, something is definitely wrong with Raya. She’s usually very serious when discussing our mission but now she seems distant. It’s like she’s tired and has given up.

It’s possible that she just didn’t get much sleep last night or I’m hallucinating, but if I’m right than this is a dangerous feeling for Raya to be having about this topic, a feeling I know well. This is not something I can ignore.

I stopped walking and looked directly at Raya. Noticing this change Raya turned to look at me.

Adam: What’s wrong?

Raya: Nothing

Adam: What’s on your mind?

Raya: …Nothing

Adam: Tell me what’s on your mind. Even if it’s stupid or useless I’d like to hear it.

Understand that you are not alone, Raya.

She sighed and looked down in thought for a moment. She hesitated for a while before speaking.

Raya: Don’t…Don’t you feel tired of all this?

Adam: …I’m not sure what you mean.

Raya: We’ve spent years moving from place to place. For what? We’re just barely living like this…

Adam: By being constantly on the move like this, we’re stopping Kael Drogo from joining the frontlines. We slowly gain strength so that one day we may complete our revenge… You’ve told me this yourself in the past… But honestly, I don’t feel too strongly about taking revenge on anyone anymore. It’s been so long since my family died, and our enemies are not people we can beat.

Adam: You said you had a plan to defeat Kael Drogo back when we were living at Count Telantra’s castle. I know you’ve had setbacks but aren’t you still slowly making your way to reaching that goal?

Though Raya has never explained to me what her plan actually was, she told me that it could still work out even if we no longer had the direct help of Telantra. This was one of the first things she told me after waking up.

But since then, the civil war has started and blood has been spilt across New Artenia.

Raya: I LIED! The plan is long dead! …It had always been a shitty plan anyways. What we’ve been doing for the past few years is nothing but a tiny rebellion against my grandfather. It’s akin to a teenager’s “rebellious phase.”

I’m assuming that she lied to protect my feelings…

Not sure how I feel about that.

Adam: Okay… So we’re running away instead of getting revenge? I’m fine with that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’ve been doing that my whole life.

Raya: But what’s the point of running away without a destination? We’ll be alone and homeless until we die. There is no escaping and no happy end for us.

Adam: I won’t feel alone if I’m with you. It won’t be an unhappy end if I get to spend it with you.

Raya: This doesn’t have to be your ending at all though… You could leave me and start a new life. You could even take this stupid sword with you, it’s me that they’re tracking.

Adam: I would rather die than leave your side. I’m nothing without you.

Raya: That’s not true.

Adam: To me it is.

We stared at each other for a while without either of us speaking.

Adam: let’s get moving or we won’t get to the next town before sundown.

I began walking along the empty road. After a few seconds Raya followed behind me.

I felt a hand slide into mine and held it unhesitantly.

We walked in silence as the sun slowly set in the distance.

When it became dark we continued walking forwards.

With her hand in mine I could feel her warmth. Her presence gave me strength and serenity.

No matter what happens, I’ll be fine if I’m with you.