Dumb, Lucky, or Both

Nora stared at her test scantron in disbelief. She passed? She passed without getting anything wrong?!

Mister Owens continued waving around that scantron. “Miss O’Donnell, how did you of all people figure out I’d made every correct answer ‘B’?”

“Why would you make every answer ‘B’?”

“Psychological warfare.” Owens pointed to his head. “I wanted to psyche you all out, see if you were confident enough with what you’d learned. I don’t know if you’re dumb lucky or lucky anddumb, but at this point it doesn’t matter.” With a deep breath he said, “I guess you’re passing this class. Somehow.”

That was the stupidest reason for anything Nora had ever heard. But she didn’t care.

-----

“You passed?!” Sylvia gasped. “That’s great!”

Sylvia was still on school grounds when Nora left Mister Owens’ classroom. She was apparently vice-president for one of the after-school clubs. Nora knew she’d mentioned which one a few times. It started with a L…. Linguistics? Literature? No, there’d been a Q in the name she could’ve sworn it.

“I can’t believe he made every answer a ‘B’.” Nora laughed. “What a jerk!”

“What made you pick ‘B’ for every answer?” asked Sylvia. “We both know you didn’t know the test.”

Nora threw up her hands. “I ran out of time and panicked.”

Now it was Sylvia’s turn not to believe it. “You did that because you ran out of time? And it worked?”

Neither could believe it. But as they started getting to Nora’s place, her ankle started acting up. Nora was almost hobbling to the door, fumbling with the knob.

“You still going to the Saint Patrick’s Day Festival tomorrow?” Sylvia stood a few feet away, watching Nora push the door open.

“Yeah. I’ll be there but I’m not sure how much my ankle will let me do. See you tomorrow!” Nora kept smiling until the moment the door closed and saw that Sheamus was sitting on the kitchen counter, munching on a sandwich filled with potato chips.

Sheamus grinned, bits of chip showing in his teeth. “Did ye have a good day at school, dearie?”

How did he... She barely had time enough to catch the talisman Sheamus tossed at her.

“Ye should really stop tryin’ that,” he warned.

“You turned off my alarm clock this morning,” Nora shouted. “I was almost late for school, I rolled my ankle, I’ve got an entire class of work to catch up on because I was stuck in the nurse’s office… I thought you were supposed to help me be lucky!”

Sheamus didn’t dignify that with words. Only a raised eyebrow before changing the subject. “There’s a festival tomorrow, yeah? You will be going with yer friend?”

Nora sat down in a comfortable chair and booted up a video game. “Yeah, there’s supposed to be a dance with punch and stuff. But with my ankle I don’t know what I’ll be up for.”

“I’d not worry much on that.” Sheamus moved towards the television she was playing on. “I’ll make sure it’s not a bother.”

“You promise?”

“Swear on me mum’s grave,” said Sheamus. “On one condition.”

Nora adjusted herself, leaning to look at Sheamus. “Go ahead.”

Sheamus grinned. “Ye don’t try puttin’ that talisman on me head again all o’tomorrow. You want the full luck I promised ye, no shenanigans.”

Things had already gone so wrong, in spite of her somehow passing her test. “Fine, what more could you possibly screw… I can’t believe I almost just spoke that into existence. I promise not to apply the talisman anymore.”

“I mean it,” he warned. “Ye do it again, I don’t care what accord we struck or what reasons ye’ve got. I’ll be off.”

“And do what? Take your ‘pot o’ gold’ and skip town?”

Sheamus laughed a little too hard, baring his teeth. “Dearie, why do ye think I was put in that fountain in the first place?” He reached into his green jacket and pulled out a handful of golden coins. “These are all I’ve got left.”

Nora paused her game to look at those coins. “Never heard of a poor leprechaun before.”

“Nah, ye’ve just never met ‘em. Where’d ya think those stories about pots o’ gold at the end of the rainbow came from?”

-----

Sylvia finished washing her face in the bathroom sink. It helped clear her pores and her head. Goodness knows she needed that right now.

She threw herself onto her bed and flipped on an animated television show. Nora had been acting pretty strange over the past day or so. Well, stranger.

Nora had always been mind-numbingly obtuse. It was one of the things that made her cute. But it had also made the fact that Sylvia liked her an exercise in aggravation. Dancing around that fact was easy. Finding a way to open her eyes wasn’t.

But her behavior last night threw her for a loop. Using her own chest as a pillow?! Even Nora couldn’t have done that by accident. That had to have been a sign. Especially with her picking that movie.

It was Nora she was thinking about, though….

“Uuuugh!” Sylvia backed out of her television show. She couldn’t enjoy it like this.

The screen went black. Unresponsive. None of the buttons on the remote seemed to work.

From the bottom of the television screen appeared a leprechaun. “Top o’the evenin’, lass! Sorry to interrupt yer evenin’.”

Was this an ad? Sylvia tried hitting the ‘Mute’ button, only for the TV to flash the words ‘DON’T TELL ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP’.

The leprechaun on her TV pointed to those words, then grinned. “Now, ye strike me as a love-stricken and bonnie lass. Luckily for you, I’m in a very generous mood.”

Sylvia tried buttons on her remote again, including the power button. The leprechaun snapped his fingers and the remote flew out of her hand.

She cleaned her glasses, bewildered at what she’d seen. Was she dreaming?

“This is no wee dream, Sylvia! And it’s no shenanigans either. We’ve got quite a bit to chat about yer dear girlfriend…”