Faith - A Heartfelt Confession

A knock deep within a stormy night. The girl’s head twitched. Living alone, that distinct sound shook her to her core. Part of her dismissed it as random noise brought on by the wind, but another part of her dared to hope it would be something… or someone, that could sweep her off her feet.

Cautiously, she tiptoed to the front door, wanting to sneak a peek at her visitor. From the side windows, through the gaps in her daisy curtains, she gleaned a dark figure on her porch. A lightning slit through the boundless dark sky; the resulting light was a blessing to her eyes, because it showed her who was at the door.

A dashing man, in his early forties, kneeled leaning against the wooden surface; his bare, plump muscles glistened after marinating in the rain. Hazel mane spread from the top of his head, weighed down by wetness. The side profile of his face reminded the girl of a polished diamond.

Recognition drove nails into her longing heart, and before tears could leave her eyes, she rushed to open the door. “What am I going to do with you?” She propped her hands on her waist.

The man leaped in for a savage kiss. The girl was caught off guard, but sank into the surprise, cruising along with the flow.

“Oh, Faith. I couldn’t stay away from you. I couldn’t live without you.”

“Leon… Oh, Leon…” The girl lurched for an encore. This time, their tongues interlocked.

And… and… something, something and they made babies…

Babies… Making babies…

Faith stared at the text on her laptop with a blush. How could she have written down something so indecent? She should change it to something like ‘hand-holding’. Making babies would be too soon. They should go on at least three dates first.

She should blame her surroundings for spoiling her tempo. The cramped room stifled any chance of creativity, but what could she expect from a cheap motel? The scent of urea meandered among the ugly wallpaper, and dangling parts revealed the somber concrete underneath. A ragged bed seized most of the space, with a gap barely enough to cram in her shoes and luggage. Even after spraying all manner of cleaning fluids, she swore she still felt ticks crawling on her skin. She shivered at the thought.

Her eyes drifted to the treasures she had brought into this wretched place: fluffy stuffed animals and a jar of fluorescent beads that were supposed to mimic fireflies. She wondered if she had made a mistake bringing them here; after all, the furry companions were more hiding places for pests, and as she was too scared to turn off the overhead lamp at night, no wondrous sights could be enjoyed.

But despite all these inconveniences, she had never once regretted coming to this place. In fact, her heart was jolting inside her, because today might be the day she would shoot her shot. She would tell her crush, nay, her one-and-only love, about her feelings towards him.

There were still minutes before the multiple alarms she had set would ring; the wait was too much for her. Her heart thumped on its own, not triggered by any image in particular. A spark ignited her every muscle, begging her to get outside and roam free, tunes sung from the sweet well of romance. She checked her outfit, casual enough, but also accentuated her curves well; she especially wore a push-up bra for this day.

She stumbled into the corridor, where the walls were better maintained, but occasional scrape marks still lay claim to some parts of the surfaces. As her footsteps clicked through the empty halls, her mind realized the dangers within her destination. There was one possibility, that when she got to the cafeteria, the location of the meeting, he would already be there. It would only be the two of them.

Her body heat rose at the thought. The ideal environment for a confession. Because they rented the whole hotel, there wouldn’t be any other guests. Well, maybe her foster siblings. But they were never early, certainly not an hour early. Only him… only he would arrive ahead of time and prepare, with a conscientious eye for details.

While she fantasized about this opportunity, she already found herself knocking at the door of another room. I guess… I guess the confession could wait. She wasn’t in any sort of hurry. No romantic rivals that she knew of. No constraints of time. She should plan the perfect gesture, not flounder into a chance event.

Mercy answered the door with bedhead and a disheveled top. “Oh, it’s you,” she said to Faith, disappointment clear on her face.

Faith checked the room number. And then glanced down at Mercy, who was a head shorter. “I thought this was Prudence’s room.”

Mercy scratched her hair, but gave no answer. As the uncomfortable quiet grew, Faith noticed that behind Mercy on the bed, a whip casually leaned against the wall. Before Faith could think about its implications, a voice called out to her.

“Faith! Good afternoon, bestie!” Prudence threw herself onto Faith’s shoulder. “Do you need something?” Her enthusiastic ruby hair whipped against Faith’s face; her honey skin smooth to the touch, abating Faith’s annoyance and discomfort. But Faith made the mistake of glancing at Prudence’s chest: a bit larger, even after Faith padded hers. A pure dose of disappointment blossomed within.

“I want to get to the meeting spot early. Don’t want the best seats to be taken.” A hint of bitterness leaked out of Faith’s tone, but Prudence didn’t seem to notice.

“The meeting is an hour later. Are you stupid?” Mercy interjected.

Prudence stroked Mercy’s hand gently. “My… It’s not like we have anything else to do. Why not wait in the cafeteria? They have snacks.”

The height difference made it seem like an older sister calming down a younger one, when in fact Mercy was a year older. And Faith figured the two of them were doing naughty things before she arrived. They weren’t blood-related, so such acts wouldn’t pose a big problem, especially since most of the foster siblings didn’t see each other as family. Faith was the same. She couldn’t see him as her father, because if she did, their platonic future would be sealed.

Still, she couldn’t understand what the whip was for…

***

Prudence broke the silence as they were on their way to the cafeteria. “So, I thought of something that could protect women everywhere.”

“What is it?” Faith said at the same time as Mercy. Mercy glared and growled at Faith right after.

“You know how most sexual assaults are done by men to women? Now, hear me out. What if we castrated all men from birth? And if anyone needs to reproduce, we can artificially create sperm with their genes. Problem solved.” As Prudence spilled her thoughts out, Faith’s head drooped with each sentence.

“This is a great idea,” Mercy cheered.

“I’m not so sure about it…” Faith didn’t want to say it out loud, but she wanted him to retain his fertility, just in case they would decide to have children together… With a shake of her head, Faith dispersed the thoughts into slight heat on her cheeks. It was too soon.

The cafeteria was a grim, sorry space. Unknown dark stains dotted across various surfaces that no one bothered to clean. Plastic chairs and tables riddled with cracks and holes. Flies buzzed across the open air, free to do whatever they pleased.

The three of them weren’t hoping for a luscious meal here, so the atrocious hygiene didn’t bother them much. A person managed to sleep in this semi-pigsty though. He sprawled on the perilous surface of the table, which wobbled each time he stirred.

Faith briefly wondered how long it could hold his weight. But this thought was sidelined by a swelling sack of emotions that her heart could barely contain. His uniform blonde hair diverted the environmental light towards Faith; his blue shirt and dark jeans contrasted the white surface that supported him; the gentle rise and fall of his stomach, subtle but clear. Peaceful.

The next moment, Faith found her face to be above the sleeping beauty’s; his appearance was that of someone aged but still kept a sense of marvel. She watched his facial features morph slightly, a faint clue to his dreams. It would be so easy for her to just lower her head…

“Mr. Anders! Wake the hell up!” Mercy slapped the person on the knee, causing him to jerk up on reflex. The mass of his skull bumped straight into Faith’s. Not pain, but panic ran through Faith’s mind; they were inches away from kissing, if only their heads were angled the right way… She could brush it off as an accident, and he might become more smitten with her. That was what the romance stories had taught her.

“Hey, Mercy. That isn’t nice!” Prudence lightly elbowed Mercy.

Mercy chuckled. “That reminded me of a scene from Yolo Leveling… You know… when the guy lay on the altar half-dead. When the statues were about to crush him?”

Prudence tilted her head. “You mean Song Qinyu?”

“I don’t know. Probably?”

As they went on with their bantering, Faith observed the man rubbing his forehead, where no lump formed, and blinking his green eyes, each shutter of his eyelids an intimate step to wakefulness. A sight that normally only a spouse would get to see.

The man squinted at Faith. “Is it time yet?” There was a deep hum in his voice, massaging Faith’s delicate heart.

Thoughts drained from her mind. “Leon… Well… Well… You can go back to sleep… Sorry… Sorry to bother…”

Prudence’s voice cut through Faith’s nervous display. “There’s one hour left. Go on. Fall back into sleep. I always fall asleep while listening to you speak, so… start talking?” She smiled at the man while giving a covert thumbs-up to Faith.

But to Faith, the cheerful girl’s good intentions only made the fumbling seem worse. And this blunder occupied her mind for the rest of the afternoon, even during the briefing for their next mission.

Her beloved hunk of a man stood before the crowd of her foster siblings. His scrumptious lips rubbed against each other as he spoke, each utterance sending a tingle through her body. The feeling was so salient that it flooded over her comprehension of his phonemes, but Faith still sensed the presence of his intense love in the presentation he crafted. It was all for the sake of the people he cherished: Faith and the other Leonians. The name ‘Leonian’ was courtesy of him too, once again proving how much he cared.

Before she could psych herself up for the next step in her struggle for love, the time had come for them to leave the hotel. This was what she had been waiting for. A chance for a romantic spot. To give her the mood and, more importantly, the much-needed courage to speak her mind.

Following her companions, Faith boarded the rented bus, unbothered by the particularly nasty exhaust smoke even as she passed it. The thumping in her chest wouldn’t calm down, as her anticipation and anxiety only went on brewing, carrying the weight of a disclosure to come.

She slipped into a seat in the front row, right next to the man. Her fellow brothers and sisters already knew to leave that seat empty for her. Even when their clothes touched, Faith couldn’t bring herself to even sneak glances at him. She stared at the head seat, where a Leonian named Remedy acted as the driver, wearing a uniform to advertise his role. Not long after, the chunky vehicle sets off with abundant conviction, a conviction mainly burning within the man named Leon Anders.

***

Faith was ashamed to admit it, but the details of the mission eluded her. Her mind was too deep in planning the best way for her to confess. Their destination was blander than she would have liked. An abandoned plot of land on the poor side of the city, surrounded by discontinued construction projects. Rumor had it that all the budget had been drained through corruption. Instead of a residential area, it became a lawless labyrinth where drug addicts and criminals would dwell. Furthest from any semblance of romance.

The night sky had been denuded of stars; only the imposing moon peeked out from behind the shadowy contours of half-finished buildings. The audience of stray weeds around Faith and her group waited patiently for her courage. The constant stream of urban breezes whistled up cheers.

Everyone else became spectators to her momentous act; even when they were surveying the land, not a glance directed at Faith, she knew they were holding their breath, nervous to hear her display of love.

She had to act now, before the other party could arrive and convert the casual air into business. After a deep breath, she strode straight to her target, while consciously raising her shoulders to appear more confident.

“Leon… Leon! I have something to say to you.” She puffed out her chest. Each word was a hurdle to cross; she could only hope that she sounded natural enough.

“What is it?”

“I… I…” Fear and shame surged from her head to toe. Pronunciations melted into hollow exhales, until she was just huffing and puffing, with a few incomprehensible vowels knitted in.

Leon shook his head and returned his attention to his phone.

He didn’t offer a single comment about her stumble. Humiliation clumped up in Faith’s throat. This couldn’t be how this would end. Not with everyone watching. Not when everyone was silently supporting her.

With a sudden piercing calmness, she swallowed to reset herself, and speech returned, though a little raspier than before. “Leon! I’m… I like… I LOVE…”

Faith squeezed out the chunks of her voice, straining whatever will she had. And it was working. Leon graced her with a subtle eye movement. A display of curiosity that was a blessing to her. He was listening.

“I love how single you are!”

The disastrous sentence slipped through her lips effortlessly. She couldn’t stop it. Leon’s expression was unreadable. Faith even entertained the idea that he didn’t hear it, but a quick glance at the teasing looks of the other Leonians said otherwise.

Faith flung her arms around in panic. “No. No. No. That’s not what I meant… I-”

She never had the chance to finish the sentence, as a storm of thunderous gunfire buried her feeble excuses, and bullets rained down from the nearby roof.

In the face of this interruption, Faith’s heart felt as if it were dropped into the toilet; she found her entire existence wishing that the projectiles were sensual water droplets.