Where To Go

Audra walked the shop for a while, taking in every detail. She ran her fingers along the racks of clothing, touched the old books and electronics, and fiddled with a few knick-knacks. Each item had a story attached to it—a history.

Memories started to run through her head.

She remembered the stories her mom would tell her about every one of these objects, whether it was where she'd found it, who she had gotten it from, or why she chose to keep it. She could spend hours just listening.

But that wasn't why she was here either.

After grabbing the list of tourist attractions, she made her way upstairs to the small apartment above the store.

She was immediately greeted by the familiar scent of home-cooking. Her mom was already busy in the kitchen but still noticed Audra's entrance.

"I see you found it. Good. So, what places are you the most interested in? Lots of places in Japan."

"Uh…" Audra trailed off as she looked down at the paper again.

Places she'd once been excited to go to were circled in red. It'd technically been something they'd been planning since Audra was twelve. Her dad had been rolling over vacation and sick days to make it happen.

However, there was no motivation to answer now. No real one, anyway.

Her heart clenched at the thought. Her mom didn't seem to notice though, thankfully.

"Kyoto is supposed to be beautiful with the cherry blossoms, but we're only going to be there for two weeks. Got a few things I'd like to see too, but… any other suggestions we should look at?"

She could offer nothing silence as the situation spun in her head.

"Audra? You okay? Come on, spit it out. Where'd you wanna go?"

"M-maybe some temples or something?" she blurted.

"A temple? I know we're planning on seeing a couple, but that's not really your kind of thing, is it?"

"I… dunno. Maybe I've changed since then. I've seen a lot, Mom. A lot of things, and I…" Her voice trailed off as the words failed.

"Honey?" Jada stepped out of the kitchen to check on her.

"N-never mind. Forget it."

Audra turned away, not wanting to cry again. Not in front of her. It felt embarrassing, even if she wasn't even real.

"I'm just… I'm glad I got to see you again. That's all."

"Audra." A steady hand grasped her shoulder. "Did something happen? Why are you acting like this?"

She shook her head, locking her tears away. A part of her desperately wanted to say what would happen. But it wouldn't do anything but ruin the simulation.

"It's not something you'd understand, b-but it's okay. You don't need to worry. I just… I love you, alright? I love you so much, Mom."

"…I love you too." Jada wrapped her arms around Audra tightly.

The warmth was almost too much to bear this time. It brought back so many more feelings she'd been trying to suppress. The good ones, and the bad. Audra closed her eyes as she clung tightly to her mother's blouse.

They stayed like that for a minute until a deep voice sounded behind her.

"Hm? Did I miss something?"

Audra broke the hug to spin around.

Standing behind them was a tall man with brown hair and a square jawline. His worn, but warm hazel eyes were framed by crow's feet that crinkled whenever he smiled.

"D-dad?" Audra muttered as he closed the door behind him. His posture was hunched over, eyes tired, and gait stiff, but after seeing her and her mother, he immediately tried to straighten himself out.

"Hey, kiddo. Guess who's back early?"

He outstretched his arms.

"Did you miss me?"

Without a word, Audra flung herself into her father's arms, burying her face into his chest. She could feel him wrapping around her, pulling her close.

The familiar scent of his cologne washed over her. It was surreal, just like it'd been with her mother. She wanted to stay like this. To never let him go. To forget all of the pain she'd endured these past several weeks.

"…" But she knew that wouldn't be fair to him—or herself for that matter.

"Oof, what's gotten into you?" Her dad chuckled. "You're acting like I've been gone for weeks or something. I know I'm almost always late, but I'm not that bad. Right?"

"I-I'm sorry," she finally managed to say, her voice cracking. "I just… I missed you so much, and..."

"Shhh, it's alright, honey. It's alright."

He patted her back gently.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Those last words hit like a truck. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

He was wrong. So very wrong.

She took a deep breath before she released him. Her eyes met his, and he gave her another reassuring smile as he ruffled her hair.

"Are you okay?" her father asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... tired."

He gave a look—clearly not believing her—but he didn't press further.

He'd always tried tiptoeing around whatever boundaries he sensed she'd had. He was too nice sometimes for that.

"Well, dinner's ready," Jada announced, walking back to the kitchen to grab some plates. "Why don't we all talk over food? You two must be starving. Cato, do you mind helping me bring out the drinks?"

Audra followed her parents into the small dining area where her mother was already setting the table with dishes full of food. There was a large bowl of salad and a couple of platters of noodles and vegetables.

As she took a seat at the table, her father placed a couple bottles of water and coke down toward the center.

"Did Mom already talk with you about the places we might be seeing in Japan, Audra? We have a lot planned, but there's only so much we can fit into half a month."

Audra nodded, taking a bite of salad before answering at the repeated topic.

"Yeah, she did. I'm sure it'll be great… I can't wait."

Her tone wasn't very convincing.

"You don't seem as excited about it as you did when we first talked about it a few years ago," her mom said.

"Really? I guess it feels more real now that it's actually happening, y'know?"

That was a lie, she'd been super excited about the trip. However, she'd never get to have it now. Not with her real parents, anyway.

"Yeah, I get what you mean. It's a lot to process when you think about it," Cato replied. "Before you were born, I kept on regaling your mother with tales about how we would eventually go on adventures together to far-off places and see all kinds of cool stuff. Of course, life had other plans in mind for me. But still, it's nice to think that we can finally take the time to do something like this together."

"I remember this one time when you were little, maybe four or five years old, and I took you camping. We didn't even go out very far, and yet you still couldn't sleep at night because you kept getting scared by every sound outside our tent. You ended up sleeping in between your mother and I, holding on to both of us like a pair of teddy bears."

He smiled wistfully. "That was a trip and a half. But hey, I guess that's parenthood for you."

Audra just nodded. She'd heard this all before. She didn't remember the incident herself, but it had become one of her dad's favorite stories to tell. He'd always told it with fondness, no matter how many times he recounted it.

"So," her mother asked, finishing a bite of noodles. "Have you thought of where you want to study once you start college? Any ideas in mind?"

Audra blinked at the question. She didn't remember this conversation.

Was the AI trying to fill in the gaps using her memories, or maybe it was being influenced by something else?

It almost reminded her of the conversation she'd had with Zeph a few days ago.

"…Um, not really."

"I know you're only fifteen, but it's something you should think about since you've already got your GED. That by itself is impressive you know."

She paused, thinking carefully about how to respond. She'd thought about going into engineering or programming, but that was before everything… happened. She didn't know if that was even possible anymore considering her new circumstances.

"I dunno," she answered. "And I disagree; it's not that impressive."

"Are you serious?" Cato interjected. "Did you know that twenty or so years ago, the minimum age to get your GED was sixteen? Even then, I don't think many people managed at that age. You're way ahead of the curve!"

Her father's praise made Audra feel uncomfortable. She didn't deserve it.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't push. I wasn't ready to go to college when I was your age by a long shot. I mean, look at me." He gestured to himself. "Do you think I could've ever imagined myself working a 9 to 5 and being a family man back when I was fifteen? Heck no. I was too busy playing video games, watching K-dramas, and being a slacker in school to think of anything else."

"That's downplaying it," her mother chimed in with a smirk. "But the same was true for me. I didn't know what I wanted."

"…I guess that's what I'm going through now then."

Audra tried her hardest to not think about all of the regrets and mistakes she'd made.

"There's just... so much out there."

"Well, that's okay. It took me a long time for us to figure out what we wanted to do. You'll figure out what you're meant to be eventually."

The rest of dinner went by without much fanfare, and soon they'd finished their meal. Her parents cleaned up afterwards while Audra sat and watched them, not saying anything.

It was all bittersweet. She missed this: the simple routines, the mundane conversations, the little moments that she'd taken for granted…

If only she could tell them to wait a little longer tomorrow. To not hurry home.

"!" Audra shook her head at the rogue thought.

This was dangerous. She couldn't allow herself to indulge in this fantasy forever. It wasn't real, no matter how much it felt like it.

If she spent too much time here, it'd only make things worse—maybe even screw her mental up even more. And considering just how messed up she already was…

It was time to go before it was too late.

"Audra?"

Her mother's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She was standing with her father. Both were holding a mug of tea in their hands.

'I AM the weapon!' was printed on one of them in large, bold letters.

"Is everything alright?"

Audra gulped, startled by Zephyr's mug—the heck was that doing here? Still, she tried continuing as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"…Um, can I talk to you guys about something? It's important."

"What is it, sweetie?" they asked in unison.

She flinched again as the illusion started to crumble. She looked around the room one last time, taking in every detail before shakingly standing.

It took every ounce of strength in her to get the words flowing.

"…I love you both. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You've given me so much—way more than I could ever ask for. But… I think it's time for me to go now."

"What? Go where?" her mother asked. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. But that's not the point. The point is that... I have to go."

"Where?" her father asked. "Why? We can go with you."

"I… I don't know, and… you can't."

She sniffled as her body started to quake, fighting back tears from falling.

"I'm sorry for causing trouble. I'm sorry for being born like this. I'm sorry for being a terrible daughter. I'm… sorry I didn't spend more time with you while I had the chance."

Her voice cracked as she forced the last thing out.

"I'm sorry that I caused a scene. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you—that I was useless. I'm sorry that I couldn't just fit in better!"

"Audra..." Her mother trailed off, clearly befuddled. But that was fine, Audra didn't expect her to have a response.

It hurt to smile at them.

"P-perhaps one day, all of us will be together again. But for now, I... I have to leave."

Her bionic pushed the door open with a creak. Everything trembled as she quickly stepped out—before she broke down.

"Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad."

It swung shut behind her loudly. The familiar world faded away, leaving her in the void of the simulation.

She'd done it. She'd finally said her goodbyes—showed Zeph her past. Heck, even got some closure too, just like the movies.

"…" But there was no relief. She felt empty. Like there was a hole inside that couldn't ever be filled again.

She furled her hands tightly, unwilling to spiral further.

"I-I'm ready Zeph, pull me out."

Everything hurt so damn much now.