Where To Go

Audra walked around the shop for a while, taking in every detail. She ran her fingers along the racks of clothing, touched the old books and electronics, and picked up a few knick-knacks. Each item had a story attached to it, a history, and it was comforting to know that at least these things still existed in this world.

Memories started to run through her head.

She remembered the stories her mom would tell her about each and every one of these objects, whether it was where she had found it, who she had gotten it from, or why she chose to keep it.

"…" Audra could spend hours just listening.

After grabbing the list of places from behind the counter and giving it a cursory glance, she eventually made her way upstairs to the small apartment that sat atop the store.

When she stepped inside, she was immediately greeted by the familiar scent of home-cooking. Her mom was busy in the kitchen, but she still noticed Audra's entrance pretty quickly.

"I see you found it. Good. So, what places are you the most interested in for our Japan trip?"

"Uh…" Audra trailed off as she looked down at the paper again.

Tons of places she'd once been excited to go to were circled in red. It'd technically been something they'd been planning since Audra had turned twelve. Her dad had been rolling over all of his vacation days and sick days to make it happen.

However, there was no motivation to answer now.

Her heart clenched at the thought as she deflated. Her mom didn't seem to notice though and continued on.

"Kyoto is supposed to be beautiful during cherry blossom season, but we're only going to be there for two weeks. We'll absolutely need to make the most of it before going to the other areas we have planned. Any suggestions?"

Audra stayed silent as it spun in her head.

"Come on, spit it out, honey."

"M-maybe some temples or something?" she blurted.

Jada laughed. "A temple? I know we're planning on seeing a couple, but that's not really your kind of thing, is it?"

"I… dunno. Maybe I've changed since then."

Her words hung in the air as her mother's laughter died down.

"I've seen a lot, Mom. A lot of terrible things. I've been hurt so much, and I…" Her voice trailed off as the words failed her.

"Honey?" Jada asked, stepping out of the kitchen to check on her.

"N-never mind. Forget it."

Audra turned away. She didn't want to cry again. Not in front of her. It felt embarrassing and shameful to do so, even if the person wasn't real.

"I'm just… I'm glad I got to see you again. That's all."

"Audra." Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder. "Did something happen? Why are you acting like this?"

She shook her head, trying to keep her tears in. A part of her desperately wanted to tell them about what would happen. But it wouldn't change a single thing in reality.

"It's not something you'd understand, b-but it's okay. You don't need to worry. I just… I love you, alright? I love you so much, Mom."

"…I love you too." Jada wrapped her arms around Audra tightly.

The warmth of her mother's body was almost too much to bear. It brought back so many more feelings she'd been trying to suppress. The good ones, and the bad. Audra closed her eyes, trying not to cry as she clung tightly onto her mother's blouse.

They stayed like that for a minute until a deep, familiar voice sounded behind her.

"Hm? Did I miss something?"

Audra broke the hug and spun around.

Standing behind them was a tall man with short brown hair and a square jawline. His worn, but warm hazel eyes were framed by crow's feet that crinkled whenever he smiled.

"D-dad?" Audra muttered as he closed the door behind him. His posture was hunched over, and his gait was stiff, but after seeing her and her mother, he immediately tried to straighten himself out.

"Hey, kiddo. Guess who's back early?"

He outstretched his arms.

"Did you miss me?"

Without a word, Audra flung herself into her father's arms, burying her face into his chest. She could feel him wrapping around her, pulling her close.

The familiar scent of his cologne washed over her. It was surreal, just like it'd been with her mother. She wanted to stay like this. To never let him go. To forget all of the pain she'd endured these past several weeks.

"…" But she knew that wouldn't be fair to him—or herself for that matter.

"Oof, what's gotten into you?" Her dad chuckled. "You're acting like I've been gone for weeks or something. I know I'm almost always late, but I'm not that bad. Right?"

"I-I'm sorry," she finally managed to say, her voice cracking. "I just… I missed you so much, and..."

"Shhh, it's alright, honey. It's alright."

He patted her back gently.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Those last words caused her heart to clench painfully. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

He was wrong. So very wrong.

She took a deep breath before she released him. Her eyes met his, and he gave her another reassuring smile as he ruffled her hair.

"Are you okay?" her father asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... tired."

He gave a look—clearly not believing her—but he didn't press further.

He'd always tried tiptoeing around whatever boundaries he sensed she'd had. He was too nice sometimes for that.

"Well, dinner's ready," Jada announced, walking back to the kitchen to grab some plates. "Why don't we all talk over food? You two must be starving. Cato, do you mind helping me bring out the drinks?"

Audra followed her parents into the small dining area where her mother was already setting the table with dishes full of food. There was a large bowl of salad and a couple of platters of noodles and vegetables.

As she took a seat at the table, her father placed a couple bottles of water and coke down toward the center.

"Did Mom already talk with you about the places we might be seeing in Japan, Audra? We have a lot planned, but there's only so much we can fit into half a month."

Audra nodded, taking a bite of salad before answering at the repeated topic.

"Yeah, she did. I'm sure it'll be great… I can't wait."

Her tone wasn't very convincing.

"You don't seem as excited about it as you did when we first talked about it a few years ago," her mom said.

"Really? I guess it feels more real now that it's actually happening, y'know?"

That was a lie, she'd been super excited about the trip. However, she'd never get to have it now. Not with her real parents, anyway.

"Yeah, I get what you mean. It's a lot to process when you think about it," Cato replied. "Before you were born, I kept on regaling your mother with tales about how we would eventually go on adventures together to far-off places and see all kinds of cool stuff. Of course, life had other plans in mind for me. But still, it's nice to think that we can finally take the time to do something like this together."

"I remember this one time when you were little, maybe four or five years old, and I took you camping. We didn't even go out very far, and yet you still couldn't sleep at night because you kept getting scared by every sound outside our tent. You ended up sleeping in between your mother and I, holding on to both of us like a pair of teddy bears."

He smiled wistfully. "That was a trip and a half. But hey, I guess that's parenthood for you."

Audra just nodded. She'd heard this all before. She didn't remember the incident herself, but it had become one of her dad's favorite stories to tell. He'd always told it with fondness, no matter how many times he recounted it.

"So," her mother asked, finishing a bite of noodles. "Have you thought of where you want to study once you start college? Any ideas in mind?"

Audra blinked at the question. She didn't remember this conversation.

Was the AI trying to fill in the gaps using her memories, or maybe it was being influenced by something else?

It almost reminded her of the conversation she'd had with Zeph a few days ago.

"…Um, not really."

"I know you're only fifteen, but it's something you should think about since you've already got your GED. That by itself is impressive you know."

She paused, thinking carefully about how to respond. She'd thought about going into engineering or programming, but that was before everything… happened. She didn't know if that was even possible anymore considering her new circumstances.

"I dunno," she answered. "And I disagree; it's not that impressive."

"Are you serious?" Cato interjected. "Did you know that twenty or so years ago, the minimum age to get your GED was sixteen? Even then, I don't think many people managed at that age. You're way ahead of the curve!"

Her father's praise made Audra feel uncomfortable. She didn't deserve it.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't push. I wasn't ready to go to college when I was your age by a long shot. I mean, look at me." He gestured to himself. "Do you think I could've ever imagined myself working a 9 to 5 and being a family man back when I was fifteen? Heck no. I was too busy playing video games, watching K-dramas, and being a slacker in school to think of anything else."

"That's downplaying it," her mother chimed in with a smirk. "But the same was true for me. I didn't know what I wanted."

"…I guess that's what I'm going through now then."

Audra tried her hardest to not think about all of the regrets and mistakes she'd made.

"There's just... so much out there."

"Well, that's okay. It took me a long time for us to figure out what we wanted to do. You'll figure out what you're meant to be eventually."

The rest of dinner went by without much fanfare, and soon they'd finished their meal. Her parents cleaned up afterwards while Audra sat and watched them, not saying anything.

It was all bittersweet. She missed this: the simple routines, the mundane conversations, the little moments that she'd taken for granted…

If only she could tell them to wait a little longer tomorrow.

"!" Audra shook her head at the rogue thought.

This was dangerous. She couldn't allow herself to indulge in this fantasy forever. It wasn't real, no matter how much it felt like it.

If she spent too much time here, it'd only increase the pain when she'd inevitably have to leave—maybe even screw her mental up even more. She couldn't afford to lose sight of reality.

It was time to go before it was too late.

"Audra?"

Her mother's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She was standing next to her with her father. Both were holding a mug of tea in their hands.

'I AM the weapon!' was printed on one of them in large, bold letters.

"Is everything alright?"

Audra nodded quickly, startled by Zephyr's mug showing up. Still, she tried to continue as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

She looked around the room one last time, taking in every detail before shakingly standing.

"…Um, can I talk to you guys about something? It's important."

"What is it, sweetie?" they asked in unison.

She flinched again as the illusion started to fall apart.

It took every ounce of strength in her to force the words out.

"…I love you both. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You've given me so much—way more than I could ever ask for. But…"

Audra bit her lip, trying to fight back tears that threatened to fall.

"I think it's time for me to go now."

"Go? Where?" her mother asked. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. But that's not the point. The point is that... I have to go."

"Where?" her father asked. "Why?"

"I… I don't know."

She sniffled as her body started to quake.

"I'm sorry for acting so weird that night. I'm sorry for being such a terrible daughter and making you worry about me. I'm sorry that I didn't spend more time with you while I had the chance."

Her voice cracked as she stared them in the eyes.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you."

"Audra..." Her mother began to speak but trailed off. But that was fine, Audra didn't expect her to have a response.

She smiled sadly.

"Perhaps one day, all of us will be able to be together again. But for now..."

She turned and opened the door with her bionic, stepping out before she was tempted to stay any longer.

"Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad."

As it swung shut behind her, the world faded away, leaving her alone in the void of the simulation.

She'd done it. She'd finally said her goodbyes.

"…" But somehow, instead of feeling relieved, she felt empty. Like there was a hole inside of her that couldn't ever be filled again.

She furled her hands tightly.

"I-I'm ready Zeph, pull me out now."

It hurt so damn much.