Retreat

The school chairs had never been comfortable. Sitting on them for more than an hour became painful. Ayaka sat in her seat, resting her head on her hand, staring out the window. The teacher was explaining something, but none of it reached her ears. Around her, a few students were whispering, the chalk occasionally squeaked on the blackboard and outside, the soft whistling of the wind could be heard.

She struggled to stay awake and her eyelids felt heavier than usual. Just before her world went dark, the school bell rang, signaling the end of class.

Phew, that was close! I almost fell asleep.

The bell was the starting signal. Chairs scraping, loud voices, books slamming shut. But not Ayaka. She remained seated, unchanged, like stone. Around her, things got hectic, some rushed to their club activities, others gathered with friends and chatted.

“Hey! Wanna stop by the konbini later?” a boy two seats over asked his neighbor.

“Nah! Gotta go to club. I promised myself I wouldn’t skip as much this year.”

“Oh right, you seem pretty honest about that. Well, I prefer playing games at home, so… see ya!”

Ayaka sat still, the chatter surrounding her, but every word left her as quickly as it came.

It doesn’t concern me anyway, so why listen?

From the other side of the classroom, footsteps approached, quick and determined. Ayaka, still staring out the window, noticed the steps to stop behind her.

“Uh… Ishihara-san, we’re on cleaning duty today. Sorry, I can’t make it! You can cover for me, right?” asked a tall, athletic guy with dyed hair and sloppily worn clothes. His school uniform shirt wasn’t even tucked in.

She glanced at him briefly, then quickly lowered her eyes and muttered hesitantly.

“It’s Ikehara.”

“Huh? What? Speak up!” he replied loudly, as if talking to someone deaf.

“Ikehara! My name is… Ikehara…”

Her voice was still soft, but loud enough to be understood this time.

“Ah… whatever. Thanks!”

He turned around before even finishing the sentence and waved dismissively.

The next thing she heard was his voice again, this time directed at his friends.

“Okay, I took care of it. Let’s go!” he said, patting his friend’s shoulder.

“Oh man, haha, I just told you her name.”

A strange laugh echoed through the room.

Sounds like a chainsaw…

“Yeah, who cares? It’s settled… let’s just go!”

“Alright, let’s move!” said a girl, and the four of them left.

The last students finally packed their bags and left the room, closing the door behind them. Only Ayaka remained.

Finally, peace. Silence.

Again, the scraping of a chair. But this time, it was hers. After she had completed her cleaning duties, she tucked her bag under her arm and left the classroom. The hallway was eerily empty; one could have heard the whisper of dust mites on the windowsill. Her footsteps echoed down the corridor.

Her destination was clear. The library was in a side wing opposite the main building, connected by a corridor on the first floor. There, the sun shone in from both sides, making it feel like a stage under spotlight. Every word and movement carried a muffled tone here.

A soft rattle sounded as she opened the library door, and the scent of old and new books swirled around her nose. To the right of the entrance sat an old lady who looked up as Ayaka entered. A small, friendly smile spread across her face.

“Oh, Ayaka-chan, I’ve been waiting for you. The book you ordered yesterday came in today,” the woman whispered softly, so as not to disturb the others.

She pulled a heavy, bound book from beneath the counter. A dark blue cover with silver stars sparkling on it.

Yes! Finally, I can’t wait!

Ayaka wanted to snatch the book, but the old lady pulled it back at the last second.

“Ayaka-chan, this book is actually meant for university students…”

“I know, but I really want to read it!”

A giggle, a warm glance, and the librarian handed her the book.

“As long as it doesn’t make you neglect your schoolwork.”

“Don’t worry, my grades are good enough,” Ayaka replied with a small, shy smile.

She clutched the book as if it were her greatest treasure. On the way to her usual spot, back in a quiet corner, she looked around briefly.

As always, not much going on. Just a few students in study cubicles. Fine by me.

She set down her bag, sat in a small chair, and ran her fingers over the cover. Her excitement was growing, and soon she would be off to distant planets. She opened the heavy cover, and from the first page, her eyes glued to the letters. Minutes turned into seconds, and before she knew it, more than an hour had passed. The room was already bathed in orange light, shadows grew longer, and the old librarian was turning on lights in some areas. The pages showed planets and stars, but the thing that sparkled the most were Ayaka’s eyes.

She was in her own world, filled with gas giants, asteroids, and dark matter. What wasn’t filled, however, was her stomach. A soft growl pulled her back to reality.

Oh right… I haven’t eaten anything today. Maybe… I’ll get something at home. Probably not.

She let out a small sigh, and just as she was about to read a section on exoplanets, she heard a familiar voice.

From her seat, she couldn’t tell where it came from. She stood up and peeked around a bookshelf.

Huh? Isn’t that… Katou-sensei?! What’s he doing here?

Takeshi stood at the entrance, talking to the old lady. But Ayaka was too far away to hear what they were discussing.

I still don’t know what to think of him. He seems so cold and distant… like nothing could shake him. I wish I could be that unshakable. I mean, he didn’t even ask if I was okay. And yet… he was there… even for someone like me.

Wait?! I just remembered… I still have the handkerchief!! Oh no, I completely forgot to return it. Crap… what do I do now? Will he be mad at me? Probably… probably disappointed in me. I didn’t even thank him… crap! Crap! Crap… what now?! Should I run over to him? No… no, no, no, no! That’ll just cause trouble. Or should I? Argh… I don’t know. Maybe he totally forgot and doesn’t even remember giving it to me. But if I don’t return it and he does remember… then he’ll think I’m some ungrateful thief or something…

Come on, get it together! I have to do this!

Ayaka went back, rummaged through her bag, and pulled out the neatly folded handkerchief. Holding it in both hands, she walked to the entrance. But when she arrived, there was no one there except the librarian, who was solving one of those riddles inside a gandma-tier gossip mag.

W-what? Where did he go? Did I miss him?! Of course I did… I blew it. Just like always… I can’t get anything right. What did I even expect?

Her shoulders dropped and she bit her tongue, as if the pain were punishment for her failure.

Slowly and sadly, she returned to her seat. She put the handkerchief back into her bag, sat down, and stared at her book. But she could barely concentrate.