Chapter 9: The Gift That Keeps on Giving (Trouble)

The walk home from the supermarket was quiet. Blissfully, beautifully quiet. I had left the five agents of chaos to deal with the fallout of 'Tomatogeddon'. I knew I would pay for it later, but the ten minutes of solitary peace were worth it.

On my way, I passed by a small gachapon store. Rows and rows of capsule toy machines lined the walls, their colorful prizes promising a moment of cheap, simple joy. An idea sparked in my mind. It was probably a bad idea, given my recent track record with trying to manage the household, but it was an idea nonetheless. A peace offering. A way to say, 'Sorry for abandoning you in a disaster zone of your own making'.

I found a machine with a series of adorable, clumsy-looking cat keychains. Each cat was in a different ridiculous pose-one was chasing its tail, another was stuck in a box, a third was sleeping face-down. They were all identical in quality and design, just different poses. Perfect. There would be no way to argue over them.

I spent 500 yen and got five capsules. I didn't even check which ones I got. I just pocketed them and continued home.

I arrived to a house full of shamefaced girls. They were all sitting in the living room, having somehow made it back via a taxi. They had even, to my utter astonishment, apologized to the store manager and helped clean up the mess. They all mumbled apologies as I walked in.

"It's fine," I said, cutting them off. I was too tired for a long, drawn-out apology session. Instead, I pulled the five plastic capsules from my pocket. "I got these for you."

I opened them and handed each of them a tiny cat keychain. Ayumi got the one sleeping, Inoue got the one chasing its tail, Azuwa got the one stuck in a box, and Izuwa and Hina got the other two.

For a glorious, shining moment, my plan worked. Their faces lit up.

"Wow, Onii-chan, thank you!" Ayumi said, her earlier transgressions forgotten.

"It's so cute, Oppa!" Inoue squealed, immediately attaching it to her phone.

"It's... acceptable," Azuwa mumbled, though I saw her secretly admiring the tiny cat trapped in its box.

Peace had been achieved. The Kitamaki household was, for the first time in days, a zone of tranquility. The ceasefire lasted for approximately six minutes.

It was Ayumi, as always, who fired the first shot.

She held up her keychain, inspecting the sleeping cat with the seriousness of a jeweler examining a rare diamond. "Ah, I see," she said with an air of profound understanding. "Onii-chan gave me the sleeping cat. It's a secret message. He's telling me that his heart is at peace when he's with me. It's so romantic!"

Inoue immediately shot up from her seat. "No, that's wrong! He gave me the one chasing its tail! That's because he knows I'm playful and energetic! It's a symbol of my vibrant personality, which he clearly admires!"

Azuwa let out a small, condescending scoff. "You're both reading into it too much. And you're both wrong." She held up her keychain, the one with the cat stuck in a cardboard box. "He gave this one to me. The cat is in a box. I came here from another country, essentially putting myself in a new 'box'. He gave me this to show that he understands the profound sacrifice I made to come here and that he sympathizes with my complex emotional state."

I just stood there, baffled by the sheer absurdity of their psychoanalysis. They were identical 100-yen toys from a machine.

Izuwa, ever the diplomat, tried to de-escalate. "Maybe they're just cute keychains?"

Hina, who had been surprisingly quiet, finally chimed in. "The manufacturing seam on mine is practically invisible," she declared, examining her keychain under the light. "Takeshi obviously recognized my superior eye for quality and gave me the most flawlessly produced one. It speaks to our shared appreciation for aesthetics."

The argument escalated with frightening speed. They were no longer just keychains; they were deeply personal totems, imbued with secret meanings and unspoken confessions of my favoritism. They started comparing the paint jobs, the weight of the little metal chains, the specific jingle of the tiny bells.

"The blue of my cat's collar is clearly a deeper, more royal shade!" Ayumi argued.

"Well, the pink of my cat's nose is much more vibrant!" Inoue retorted.

Ayumi, realizing she was losing the verbal battle, resorted once again to her old standby. She hatched a plan to switch her 'peaceful sleeping cat' for Azuwa's 'profoundly symbolic box cat'.

"Azuwa-chan," she said with a fake smile. "I think I see a tiny scratch on your keychain's bell. Let me see, I can polish it for you."

She reached for Azuwa's keychain. But Azuwa, who had been anticipating such a move, was too quick. She snatched her hand back. "I think not," she said, her eyes narrowing. "I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to steal my symbol of profound emotional understanding!"

"It's not! It's mine! He meant for me to have that one!" Ayumi shrieked, making a grab for it.

What followed was a farcical chase scene. Azuwa sprinted out of the living room, clutching her keychain protectively. Ayumi was hot on her heels, screaming about destiny and sibling intuition. Inoue joined the chase, not to get a different keychain, but to "protect" her own from any potential thievery. Hina and Izuwa just watched, looking utterly bewildered.

The chase went up the stairs, into the hallway, and back down again. They dodged furniture, skidded on rugs, and yelled increasingly ridiculous accusations at each other. My simple, cheap peace offering had become the catalyst for World War III.

I let out a long, weary sigh. The kind of sigh that comes from the very depths of your soul. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the sixth capsule I had bought for myself without thinking. I opened it. It was a cat, identical to the others, comically sprawled out on its back.

While the three of them were still running in circles around the dining table, I calmly took out my house keys and attached the new keychain. The little bell made a soft, pathetic jingle.

The sound, small as it was, cut through their chaotic yelling. They all stopped mid-chase and stared at me. They stared at my keys, and at the new keychain hanging from it.

Their faces went through a rapid series of emotions: confusion, shock, and then a dawning, horrified realization.

Ayumi was the first to speak, her voice a small whisper. "Onii-chan... you have one too?"

I didn't answer. I just jangled my keys once, letting the little cat flop around, and walked towards the kitchen to make myself a cup of that instant coffee Ayumi had bought. Their argument was over. But a new one was already brewing in their minds, I was sure of it. Now they had to decipher the true, hidden meaning behind the one I had kept for myself. There was no winning.