Trekking Into Uncharted Waters

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here for a job,” Mai proclaimed as she held out a white folder to Mark with the word “Resumé” in block letters written on it.

Mark stared somewhat dumbfoundedly at Mai’s attire and pristine white folder. Without thinking, Mark’s tired and exhausted posture was erected and proper. Mark felt overwhelmed by Mai’s appearance and sheer confidence.

“M-Mai, I’m sorry if this comes off wrong, but I think you completely overdid your first impression for this job. It’s just a convenience store,” Mark answered back nervously.

“Oh, was this too much? I didn’t know,” Mai admitted as she took a look at her own attire and tugged at the bottom of the dress slightly.

“Is the dress too small?” Mai asked honestly as she looked up at Mark with emotionless eyes.

Mark, who was flustered and nervous, took Mai’s question very seriously, and began examining her outfit. The dress itself was actually tailored to fit Mai’s slim-fit figure. Mark’s eyes found themselves first at the end of the dress, since that is what Mai was asking about. The end of the dress stopped about 2 inches above the knee, with a low slit on the left side of the dress, showing a bit more of Mai’s leg.

“N-No, the dress isn’t too small. It covers you fine, honestly,” Mark said unconvincingly as he looked away from her for a second to avoid staring like an idiot or pervert. Mark attempted to open the cash register and returned his gaze back on her.

As Mark analyzed her dress and appearance even more. He noticed a beautiful silver pendant necklace around her neck that lay at rest on top of the dress. Her neck and collarbone were exposed, and her hair fell by her shoulders elegantly, which only complimented the mature look and nature that Mai represented.

“You think so? It’s been a while since I got this with my stepmother. It seems I actually have grown a little since I got it,” Mai said out loud as she took another step closer to Mark.

“Stepmother?” Mark thought as he tried to open the cash register again, but he had some trouble getting it open.

Noticing him struggling desperately to open up the register, Mai had leaned over the counter to get a better look at what was going on.

“Is there something wrong?” Mai asked him softly.

“No, not really. This register gets stuck from time to time, but it’ll open up with enough force,” Mark struggled as he finally got the register to open up.

Once the register opened up, Mark placed all the cash in neat stacks and the change in its proper place. He then closed the cash register with a sense of relief and locked it with a key.

“Mai, if you don’t mind me asking, why do you want to work here?” Mark questioned as he took her resumé to look over it.

“Should I say it was because I want to help him or Chloe? Maybe it would be better to say I need money? No, that’s too forceful.” Mai took a few seconds to think about what her answer should be, until she finally came to one.

“It’s a job that’s hiring and I live close by. I can work holidays, and weekends, and-“ Mai started softly.

“The job is yours Mai, you’re hired,” Mark interrupted as he placed the resumé in a drawer and walked out from behind the counter.

“What?” Mai asked as she stood back up, slightly shaken.

“You left one heck of an impression,” Mark commented as he looked down at Mai and her attire. “That, and your resumé was really well done. Not everyone can say they’ve helped sell houses,” he added.

“I did help my stepmom with that, but I didn’t make any money from it,” Mai confessed.

“Well, the experience is more than enough to land you this job,” Mark complimented as he gave her a head pat and walked towards the break room. “Wait, what did I just do?” Mark thought as he looked at his hand, then back to Mai who stood there with wide doe eyes. “Crap.” He thought.

The innocent and lost expression in Mai’s eyes were matched only by her attempt to fix her hair while simultaneously maintaining her eye contact with Mark.

“So, when do I start?” Mai asked as she finished fixing her hair.

“If you’re available, you could start tomorrow afternoon. You’ll be under me for a week, so I’ll send you the schedule later tonight,” Mark said as he looked at the wall clock which read 9:00PM (2100).

Mark quickly walked into the break room, made sure that everything was put away, and locked it. Afterwards, he walked Mai out of the store.

“That was a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Mai thought as Mark locked the store with his keys. When he took a step towards her, a loud rumbling erupted from Mai’s stomach.

“Sorry about that. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning after the hospital,” Mai said as they started walking from the store.

“Wait, why haven’t you eaten anything else?” Mark asked as he looked down at Mai with concern.

“I was rationing my food in case I didn’t get the job,” Mai answered as she walked away from Mark slowly.

“Rationing your what?” Mark thought, but Mai seemed to be able to read his mind.

“Don’t mind me,” Mai said as they continued walking.

Her voice seemed soft as always, but there was something off about it. Mark realized the sudden hint of sadness that seeped into her words. Struggling to think of something to say, Mark silently walked beside Mai until they got to an intersection. The streetlight flickered on and off briefly, until it flashed its final light and turned off.

Mai headed into the direction of the now-broken streetlight while Mark took a step in the other direction, where the streetlights were still on and bright. They both realized that they were going in different directions and turned back around to say goodbye to each other.

“Thank you for walking with me this far,” Mai started as she felt another rumble in her stomach. Her hand gently and instinctively reached towards her stomach.

“Why don’t you come over to my house? I’ll make you something to eat,” Mark offered as he reached out a hand to her.

As Mai tried to refute the offer, her stomach loudly accepted Mark’s proposal. Against her own will, Mai took a slow step over to Mark.

“I don’t want to cause you any trouble,” Mai said softly.

“Don’t be ridiculous Mai. You aren’t going to cause me any trouble,” Mark replied as he motioned her to walk besides him.

The two of them walked for 15 minutes in an awkward silence. The only thing breaking up this nervous tension were the sounds of the nature around them. Another minute of walking later, and the two ended up by an abandoned playground near a vast lake.

*     *     *

Mai had a hard time keeping up with Mark for this long. She was weak, tired, and fatigued. Mark had noticed Mai’s slower pace and stopped to give her a chance to catch up. Once she caught up with him, she let out a deep breath and glanced over at a lone swing set that was set apart from the playground itself.

“Hey, let’s take a break,” Mark suggested as he reached out a hand to the bent over and exhausted Mai.

Once Mai caught her breath, she stood back up and took Mark’s hand, allowing him to guide her over to the swings.

Mark quickly brushed off the leaves and twigs that were on the two swings, and then held onto the chains of one of them tightly so that they couldn’t fulfill their intended purpose.

Mai aligned herself with the swing and carefully fell into the seat. After fixing herself onto the swing, she looked back to Mark and gave him a friendly nod to let him know that she was comfortable.

“It’s quiet tonight,” Mark noted as he took a seat in the swing next to Mai. His head hung low as he took a second to collect his thoughts.

“Speaking of quiet,” Mai started to respond as she nervously tapped her right index finger against her right thigh, “You didn’t say anything on our walk here.”

Mark picked up his head and stared out towards the lake. His eyes were lost in the vast blue water that reflected the full moon and starry night sky in perfection. The ambience surrounding them seemed to quiet down, creating an eerie scene, and sending a chill up Mai’s arms.

“I can’t believe they’re actually gone,” Mark choked as he put a palm to his forehead. “Even if no one blames me for it, I still feel like it’s my fault.”

“Mark, sometimes bad things just happen. That’s why they’re called accidents,” Mai answered softly as she swung back and forth slightly to lighten the mood.

Seeing Mai’s efforts to lighten the mood, Mark nodded softly and began swinging slowly, matching Mai’s sluggish pace.

“That’s true, but accidents are usually caused by someone. Right?” Mark said softly with a pessimistic tone Mai never would’ve thought Mark could express.

The two continued swinging slowly in silence. While Mark kept his gaze onto the lake ahead, Mai had her eyes glued down to the ground beneath her. Mai’s breathing started to stifle, and Mark looked back at Mai to check on her. Her swinging mimicked her breathing, and eventually stopped, leaving only the creaking of rusted metal ringing throughout the area.

“M-Mai?”

“I know exactly what you feel, Mark,” Mai finally said as she slowly returned her gaze towards him. Her innocent doe eyes from before were replaced with a cold and barren wasteland of frost. “I know what it’s like to feel responsible for your parent’s death.”

Mark froze up when hearing those words. “I know what it’s like to feel responsible for your parent’s death.” Mai’s words rattled violently inside his head. Almost as if waiting for an explanation, Mark’s words faltered on themselves, leaving nothing but muffled sounds of confusion escaping his throat.

“Unlike you, I was there when it happened,” Mai established softly and stoically. Her guard was up like a reinforced wall, trying to stand strong against the onslaught of torment that would come rushing through.

“My dad was a type-1 diabetic. Essentially, his pancreas quit doing the job it was supposed to do,” Mai continued softly. Her voice remained stoic and unwavering as she explained further about her situation. “His blood sugar could only be controlled by insulin doses.”

“The most important thing he told me to do,” Mai emphasized, “was to give him an emergency shot of insulin if he ever fainted or had a seizure.”

“Go on,” Mark requested as he leaned closer to Mai. Mark found himself lost in her words. He wanted to know how the story ended, trying to find some hope in her past.

“One day, I wanted to go watch the fireworks show with him,” she said to him, recalling the events of the nightmare she had the night before. “During the show…he fainted next to me,” she quivered as what felt like rapiers piercing through armor lodged themselves through the cracks in her walls.

“I thought it was because of his sugar levels. I did what I was told to do, but it was the wrong thing to do,” Mai sniffled softly. “I was one of the reasons my dad was sent to the Emergency Room.”

Mark felt helpless as he watched Mai begin to break down in front of him. Feeling a strong and overwhelming urge to try and fix the situation, Mark got off of his swing, and pulled Mai into his chest for a hug.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to finish,” Mark said softly into her ear. “A friend doesn’t need to hurt themselves to try and help me.”

Mai let out a few muffled sniffles before pulling herself away from Mark’s chest.

“I wanted to tell you…that my dad died due to a brain tumor, slightly bigger than a golf ball. He didn’t last long once he was in the ER,” Mai continued as she wiped away the tears that remained in her eyes. “It wasn’t my fault that he died, but because I sent him there with the emergency shot, I carried the weight of that burden.”

“She sent him there. Is that what she meant when she said she knew how I felt? Mark thought as he let go of her.

“You didn’t have to tell me that,” Mark replied, trying to dismiss the obvious parallels between their situations.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever shared the story with,” Mai said truthfully. “I shut myself down after everything was over.”

“Then why are you sharing it with me?” Mark asked sheepishly.

“Because I-” Mai began hesitantly.

“Chloe would break if you did what I did to her all those years ago.” Mai started.

“Chloe would break…what I did…years ago,” Mark thought, picking up small bits and pieces of information from the conversation.

“So, not just for you and me, but for Chloe, don’t close yourself off,” Mai commanded. “I know how important space is; just remember that letting people in will make you feel so much better.”

“How do you know that?” Mark asked somewhat pessimistically.

“Well, telling you made me feel better,” Mai answered softly. “Chloe was right. You really are good at getting others to open up to you, even if it wasn’t intentional,” she complimented.

“Chloe’s putting in so much effort by checking in on my brother. I don’t want to add myself to her daily list of things to worry about,” Mark countered.

“Then tell me. I told you about myself. Why don’t you tell me more about you?” Mai questioned honestly. Even though Chloe was the one who put her up to talking to Mark, Mai genuinely wanted to hear more about him for herself.

Mark looked down at the ground, unsure of what to do. His mind was racing with the thoughts of Mai breaking down in front of him, as well as the potential thought of Chloe breaking down even more than the night before. With heavy steps, Mark walked towards the lake.

Mai, watching Mark’s slight internal struggle, followed him over by the lakeside. The terrain was a little difficult for her to walk on with her heels, but she made it to where he was standing without falling to the ground.

“If I were to walk into this lake and never come out, what would change in the world?” Mark asked Mai as he stared out into the water.

Mai remained silent, unsure of where Mark was going with this line of thinking.

“I used to think that no one would care,” Mark rambled. “My family, maybe Chloe, would ask where I went. Eventually, they would just give up.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t give up on you,” Mai assured as she looked up at Mark, hoping to meet eyes.

“I know; I’m such an idiot for not believing that until now,” Mark confessed as he balled up his fist.

“Mark, you aren’t an idiot,” Mai answered with a hint of warmth in her voice.

“I used to stand by this lakeside every night after work; I would think about walking in, without a worry in the world, and letting the water consume me,” Mark continued angrily.

“So much time I wasted here. So much time I could’ve spent with my family,” Mark pursued. “I had all that time, and I spent it believing that I was worthless. All because I was envious of my younger brother.”

“Mark? You’re scaring me a bit,” Mai said quietly in a concerned tone while grabbing at his arm somewhat forcefully. Mark was becoming aggressive, something she hadn’t fully seen yet.

“Sorry,” Mark apologized. “He was better than me in almost everything. Including gaining the attention of Chloe and my family. All I had were my performances and work,” Mark said weakly as his fists started to unclench, and his anger began to diminish. “It was all I had.”

“It’s perfectly normal to think that way,” Mai began, trying to convince Mark of his feelings. “Just, use your energy differently. Instead of being bitter at yourself, focus on trying to be a better person.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do,” Mark snapped back. “O-Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“You’re fine. Don’t worry about it,” Mai dismissed. “I know we haven’t known each other long at all, but I think you’re a great person. You just need to see that for yourself.”

Mark let out a heavy sigh, followed by a slow nod. As Mark looked down at the lake, he noticed something fly up in the reflection of the water. When Mark craned his head up to see what was flying through the sky, he was surprised to find that it was a firework that had polluted the night sky.

The loud “Boom” that erupted through the air was the last thing to disturb the peace of the night.

When Mai heard the sound, she imagined the nightmare again. Seeing the images of that miserable night in her head, she took a step backwards, and her left heel landed awkwardly. She reached out to Mark while she was falling back, but he was too captivated by the dazzling light and explosive sounds of the fireworks going off, just as all the other people were in her nightmare. By the time Mark had seen her fall, she was already on the floor.

“Mai, I’m sorry. Let me help you up,” he said quickly as he reached down to help her off of her feet. “Are you alright?”

“I think I hurt my ankle a bit, but I should be fine,” Mai grimaced.

“Here, hop on my back. I’ll carry you the rest of the way,” Mark offered as he practically hoisted her onto him piggy-back style.

“A-Are you sure?” Mai asked as a very faint blush swept across her cheeks, hidden away from Mark to see.

“Yeah, its no sweat. You are pretty light, so it makes it easier,” he said as he started walking towards his home.

Mai’s stomach started to growl violently, and the fireworks were nearing the grand finale. Trying to avoid both of those sounds, she covered her ears, almost falling off of Mark’s back.

Mark felt her slipping off of him and grabbed her backside with both of his hands. This gave Mai a seat to prevent her from slipping off so easily.

Mai flinched for a moment when Mark lifted her up by her rear, but realized it wasn’t in malicious intent, and relaxed herself again. She leaned over his shoulder, wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, and buried her head in his right shoulder.

“I think I owe you again,” she said softly to Mark.

“Let’s call this one even,” Mark joked lightly as they arrived at the Reyes’ home.