Chapter 55: The World's Most Awkward Debriefing

The trip back to our rooms is a silent, miserable procession. I am wrapped in my yukata so tightly I can barely breathe, my skin still burning with a mixture of hot water and pure, uncut shame. Rina is walking ahead of me, a strange, unreadable expression on her face. Behind us, our three friends follow like a judicial panel escorting two convicts to their sentencing.

We arrive at the girls' room, where Miki, in her role as the de facto leader of this chaotic expedition, orders us all to sit down. The five of us sit in a circle on the tatami mats. The air is thick with the unspoken horror of what has just transpired.

Miki pushes her glasses up her nose, her expression that of a deeply disappointed parent. She looks at me. Then she looks at Rina.

"Explain," she says, her voice dangerously calm.

"It was an accident!" I say immediately, my voice cracking. "I thought the bath was empty! She thought the bath was empty! We were both victims of a faulty sign and poor timing!"

"A fortunate accident," Rina corrects me, a hint of her usual audacity returning. She is hugging a pillow to her chest, but she does not look ashamed at all. She looks… annoyed. Annoyed that we were interrupted.

"You tried to kiss your brother!" Hana squeaks, her face still pale. "Again! But this time you were both… unclothed!"

"We were having a moment!" Rina protests. "A very sincere, romantic, and deeply emotional moment! Which you three," she glares at the ambush squad, "ruined with your complete lack of subtlety!"

"We saved you from making a life-altering, socially catastrophic mistake!" Miki shoots back, her calm finally breaking. "We saw Kenji-kun fail at his peeking attempt and then saw you, Rui-kun, head towards the private baths. Then we saw you, Rina, dash out of the women's changing room. It does not take a genius to figure out what was about to happen!"

"My only regret is that I did not arrive sooner," Kenji says, a single tear of joy rolling down his cheek. "To witness the blossoming of such a pure, forbidden love firsthand was a true honor. I have already begun drafting my best man speech."

"There is not going to be a wedding!" I yell, my frayed nerves finally snapping. "There is not going to be a forbidden love! There was just a terrible, mortifying accident that I would like to erase from my memory with a targeted amnesia ray!"

The argument rages for another thirty minutes. It is a chaotic mess of accusations, denials, and Kenji’s completely unhelpful romantic commentary. Eventually, we reach a fragile, exhausted truce.

The agreement: 1) Rina is to maintain a court-mandated distance of at least five feet from me at all times for the remainder of the trip. 2) Kenji is forbidden from ever using the words "forbidden love" or "wedding" again. 3) We are all to pretend this night never happened.

It is a pact doomed to fail, and we all know it. As Kenji and I finally retreat to our own room, leaving the girls to their own debriefing, he claps me on the shoulder.

"Do not worry, my friend," he says, his voice full of a conspiratorial whisper. "Your secret is safe with me. But for the record, when you do have the wedding, I call dibs on being the ring bearer."

I just groan and collapse onto my futon. This trip was supposed to be a relaxing break. Instead, it has become the single most stressful event of my life.