Caution: Keep Away From Pets

The sun felt hotter as they walked back into the woods. It could have been the anticipation, knowing they had a robotic…something in Lisa’s room. She looked back at her house, curtains drawn in her bedroom window.

“It’ll be fine,” Frankie said, adjusting her glasses as she walked confidently forward.

“You talking about the robot or the house?” Lisa asked.

“Sure,” Frankie said, her backpack thumping on her shoulders.

“Do you think we’ll find something else in the hole we found it in?” Lisa asked, skipping over a stick on the narrow trail.

“For the third time, I have no idea. But I want a look at it. How did it get there? If it is…” Frankie didn’t want to say the word. It made her head and heart hurt. “How did it get there? Where is it from? It was half buried like it…I dunno, grew from the ground. I’m not buying it. Something has to…”

“Why does it matter? It’s here now. Magic or aliens or wherever, we got him,” Lisa said with a shrug.

“Not whatever. Magic doesn’t make sense,” Frankie said, before muttering under her breath. “Things have to make sense…”

They marched into the woods, determined to find answers to questions they didn’t even know they needed to ask.

*

The talisman in the robot’s head began to wobble, rattling back and forth before popping up and falling to the floor with a slight tink. The green glow sprang to life in the metal man’s eyes again and it looked around the dark, empty room, its head acting like a flashlight.

“Mistresses? I believe your lights have gone out! Shall I go and find a new source of illumination for you?” the robot asked. He heard nothing, tilting his head as if straining to hear an answer. “I’ll take the initiative! It will please them!”

It walked quickly to the door, stepping over the random objects dropped on Lisa’s floor. Opening the door, it looked down the hall wondering where it could find some lights. “Ah! Stairs! Those go places! Then again, everything goes places. Though how would I know? I’ve never been anywh…”

It stopped halfway down the hall, shaking its head. Why did it suddenly doubt itself? Today was the first day it was activated…wasn’t it? Still, faint echoes of a large house and people rested in its mind.

Walking down the stairs a bit more slowly, it found itself in the kitchen, the room clean and wide and bright, a well organized haven for Lisa's mother. An island with a stove and dishwasher stood in the center. The robot flipped a switch and the electric burner turned on, glowing brightly under the glass. “Well, this lights up, and creates heat! But mobility is a problem. How would I move this glowing table to the mistresses room…” the robot grumbled.

A soft meow drew its attention as a small calico cat padded in, curious and cautious. “Ah! Hello small creature! Are you one of my masters too?” it asked. The cat meowed again, confused. The robot scanned the cat with its eyes, causing the animal to hiss at it as its memories were sorted through. “I see! You are a simple creature. A pet, owned like I am no doubt. Well, fellow servant of the mistresses, how may I please you? I want to ingratiate myself to my compatriots!”

The cat meowed again, deciding to go back to confusion instead of fear. This not-human seemed friendly, if strange and stupid. “Hunger! You made a hunger noise! Lead me to where food is, small hungry animal!” the robot said. The cat understood food, trotting to the closet where its food was kept. After pawing at the door for a moment, the robot opened the door, scanning the shelves. “This can has a creature like you on it. It is either made for you or from you. Should I risk indulging in cannibalism?” A small blade ejected from its right index finger, and it opened the can. Giving it a quick scan it turned to the cat. “There appears to be no meat of similar animals in here. But surely you are fed better than this. Excess chemicals and flavorings abound. No, my mistresses would not approve of this for their servants! Come, pet animal! I will find you food worthy of a servant of my mistresses!”

*

The girls trudged back to the house, defeated and tired. Not a trace of anything unusual other than a rather large hole in the dirt was found. Further digging only uncovered more dirt. “Not even a freaking footprint. I know the thing wasn’t there last weekend. When we found it, it was buried like it had appeared in the dirt. How does a robot appear in the dirt with no trace of anybody putting it there?” Frankie asked.

“Magic, of course. Like those sparkly princess games I always used to annoy you with, stick in the mud,” Lisa said with a grin.

“Please stop making me regret waking up today,” Frankie complained.

“Is your curiosity at least satisfied now? Can we finally enjoy our robot?” Lisa asked, wiping sweat from her brow.

“No. Shut it,” Frankie grumbled. “Okay, new plan. We turn the thing on again and grill it. I want to know everything it knows.”

“Why did your opinion on the robot change when you thought it was magic?” Lisa asked.

“Because magic isn’t real. And even if it is, it doesn’t…” Frankie’s explanation was caught in her throat as she opened the back door into the kitchen and saw what was presented before her. The fridge had been cleaned out, many complex dishes prepared and laid out around the island. The robot stood before the cat as the animal perched on a chair, fork in its metal hand, a serving of chicken pie it had prepared hanging from a fork.

“Mistresses! Your beast is unwilling to try new dishes! Please, educate me on which foods will please my furry companion! I desire quiet cohabitation, and do not want to get off on the wrong foot,” the robot said.

Frankie and Lisa looked at each other, unblinking, several words leaping to their minds, none of which could be said around children. “I’m going back to the hole,” Frankie moaned, wishing she could bury herself whole.