Always Been You

Pen-spinning has got to be some kind of art.

There’s just so many tricks and combinations you can do. It dances around your hand and it's so satisfying to look at. You always see those videos on Youtube, where it looks like the pen is on a string, intertwining between the spaces of fingers. I wonder if I add another move here-

“Lei!”

The sound of my name being called made me shiver and I almost dropped my pen. My homeroom teacher, Mr Yil, stared at me. In fact, the whole class was staring at me, watching me like an animal in a zoo.

“Please focus on writing notes with your pen, rather than using them as toys.”

“Sorry, sir.”

The class laughed as I took the lid off my pen and began to listen in. I yawned and sighed. It was going to take all my willpower to stay focused.

“Hey, can you show me that trick you did?”

My best friend, Xue, picked up his pen and began to spin it without much luck. It wobbled on his thumb, like a drunk lamb.

“How do you even do this…?”

“I don’t know. It just happens naturally.”

“You must be using magnets or something… Also, about the school trip… Have you figured out what group we’re gonna join?”

Our class had their school trip in the middle of the year. We were headed to Kyoto, home of much of Japanese history. We were to hand in our group selection form at the end of the week. It had been a bit of time but we hadn’t found a group to join.

“I’m not sure…”

“Well, we can always join Maeda’s group. They have 2 spots open.”

I grimaced at the thought of it. There wasn’t anything wrong with Maeda, he seemed like a chill guy. We would talk here and there, but his friends weren’t as friendly. They were always unsocialable and glued to their phones. I wouldn’t exactly like my school trip to be about whatever the latest news was on some random mobile game. We wouldn’t be able to embellish Kyoto at all.

“Oh, hey look! I’m actually doin- Ah!”

Xue’s pen flicked off his hand and fell onto the floor. Right in front of the school’s most popular girl, Yuphie.

“You aren’t as good as Lei, aren’t you Xue?” she said, smiling. She picked his pen off the ground, her hair swaying and handed it to him.

“Ahahaha… I’m trying…” Xue said, as he took the pen from her. He hadn’t expected that she had seen him cause a disturbance in the classroom.

“Tsk… Clowns will always be clowns.”

Her two friends behind her had witnessed the whole ordeal. Seceele had rolled her eyes at his childishness while Julio laughed, eating his pork bun.

“By the way… Xue, I heard you talking about not having a group… Why not join us?”

“Huh? It’s okay?”

The class went silent and began whispering to each other.

“What? Yuphie invited them?”

“Why?”

They were pleasantly surprised and it wasn’t an overreaction. Many people had asked Yuphie to be a part of their group and she had turned them down.

“Of course it’s okay. I invited you. My friends are fine with it. Right?”

Despite the previous annoyed look Seceele had, she nodded in agreement, along with Julio who seemed keen on the idea as well.

“Adding these two clowns would make it much more interesting~!”

I didn’t like how he said it. It sounded condescending.

“Well? Can we write your names down on the form?”

“Sure I’m down. Lei? Is it alright with you?”

Xue had asked for my input, as the others looked at me. Yuphie looked at me with her blue ocean eyes.

“...Yeah, it’s fine.”

It already seemed like it had been decided no matter what I said.

“Cool! I’ll give it to Mr Yil today. Oh, why don’t we have a group chat? That way we can always be connected no matter what.”

“Sounds good!”

Yuphie began to add everyone’s contacts into a group.

“Hey Xue, I don't have your contact info.”

“Oh yeah, right. Give me a second.”

He handed her his phone and soon we all got a notification on our phones. It read “You have been added to: Camp grouppp!”

With that, they left for the cafeteria, leaving Xue and I alone to eat our bentos.

“Well… I didn’t expect that.”

“Expecf whaf?”

I was midway eating a fried tempura.

“Are you not surprised?! The number one beauty in our school just asked us personally to be in her group for camp. We will literally be spending so much time with her!”

“Okay, you’re kinda being a loser right now. It’s just a group, nothing crazy.”

He sighed and shook his head.

“Huh…. Of course you don’t get it. You haven’t reached your springtime of youth yet. Wait… I just remembered something that confused me. How come she didn’t need to ask you about your contact info?”

“Oh. She probably used your phone to access my contacts.”

“Ohhhh, that’d make sense.”

That was a lie.

No-one aside from her and I knew about our relationship in the past. Her and I had grown up together back in our childhood days. We were neighbours, attended the same school and were in the same class together until she had to move away because of her mother’s work. Her mother was a famous actress and it looked as if Yuphie would follow in her footsteps. She had already appeared in a few movies as minor roles and advertisements, and recently got the role in an up and coming film that would “break the internet.”

To everyone else, she was always nice, and had a smile that could heal those around her.

And to me… she was my first crush. I had found myself always looking forward to waking up and spending time with her. I adored her. Embarrassingly enough, she had made me take piano lessons, because she had told me she was fascinated by classical music. I was truly captured by her.

But when she returned it wasn’t the same. We had both changed. I had found myself not liking anything. I tried a bunch of new things but couldn’t get into any of them seriously. She had grown as a person, as an actress, and became somebody.

She didn’t have any interest in me. When we enrolled in the same high school, we had made eye contact at the school gates, but neither of us said a word. Just a little nod of acknowledgment. That caused a domino effect where we would drift apart further and further. And here we are, in the middle of the school year where our relationship status is now “classmate.”

I missed the old days… And I wondered if she had thought the same.

School had ended, and I finally arrived at my house. I definitely didn’t miss this. I wish we could go back in time.

I opened the creaky door and sighed.

“I’m home…”

The walls were barren and cold. The room was quite dark, the only source of light coming from the hazy blue light emitted by the TV. On the couch was my father, cooped up in a ragged blanket. Bowls of instant noodles and bags of chips lay on the table.

“Welcome back. Dinner’s in the fridge. Don’t disturb me.”

“Actually, there’s one thing…”

“What.”

“I have a school trip in 2 days… I’ll be away for 3 days.”

“Cool.”

He hadn’t looked at me once.

I went upstairs into my room and closed the door. I put all my stuff down and lied down on my bed.

I know it wasn’t his fault he was acting like this. He used to be much happier. It hasn’t been the same since Mom left.

--------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Lei, pass this around once you get one.”

On the bus, someone had brought out snacks, and we all laughed and chatted. We were almost at the hotel.

I took a Pocky out of the packet and handed it to my seatmate.

“Thanks.”

As she reached into the packet, I couldn’t help but stare at my childhood crush. Even now, she was beautiful. No wonder why all the guys liked her.

She took one out and stared at it before eyeing me. She signalled for me to lean in. Confused, I obeyed and she whispered into my ear.

“Want to play the pocky game?”

!

I pulled my head back fast, and accidentally hit my head on the window. She laughed and held her hand to cover her mouth. It was the same laugh that made my heart jump back then.

“Why’d you do that?!”

“You’re the one who asked for that… request!”

“It was obviously a joke…!”

“What was a joke?”

Julio had turned around, as he was sitting in front of us.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s our secret.”

“Sure… Hey Yuphie, could I get a Pocky, real quick?”

He seemed really curious but didn’t pursue it any further.

“Sure,” she said, handing the packet to him.

“I kinda have my hands busy at the moment…”

He opened his mouth, and sure enough, Yuphie handed it to him. He smiled and went back to gaming on his phone.

I guess that’s normal. Maybe that’s what she wanted to play.

We arrived at the hotel to unpack our luggage. We had rooms all to ourselves which all of us were excited about. I hated sharing.

We met up in the lobby to meet with our group members as the teacher explained that we had to follow our guide. We were going to visit some areas that were compulsory, but sometimes we had free time.

“Alright guys, let’s head to the shrine.”

The shrine was a couple of kilometres away. It was a bright, sunny day which was perfect for photographs.

“I’m so glad I brought my hat.”

Yuphie, who wore a pair of sunglasses, white dress and straw hat yawned as she stretched her arms.

“The sun really makes me tired.”

She really does embody the feel of summer. Come to think of it…

“Oh yeah? I do remember that one time where our grade school teacher found you knocked out on the play set. It was really funny when everyone was so distressed wondering where you were.”

“Eh? You remember that?”

She sounded quite surprised I had brought up an embarrassing memory.

“Of course. How could I forget it?”

“Well… How about the time where I beat you in Smash 11 times in a row when you started crying?”

“Wow… you didn’t have to bring that up.”

“I had to treat you to some ice-cream to make you feel better.”

“Enough.”

She laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh with her.

We arrived at the shrine and took lots of photos and walked around. Xue had insisted that we took a group photo in front of the shrine.

I had made my way towards the tulip garden to take some more photos. They were arranged tidily and were colorful. The red tulips were especially attractive.

They were my mom’s favourite.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“Lei?”

“Ah- Yes?”

Yuphie had come out of nowhere and I stood up suddenly. I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper.

“We’re going to move to the prayer table.”

“Alright. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“... Are you okay?”

She looked at me skeptically tilting her head.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“It looked like you were crying.”

“Oh no… I had allergies from smelling the flowers.”

She didn’t seem too convinced at all.

“Oh… I see.”

She came over and knelt next to me admiring the flowers.

“Do you remember that time when we got lost on that one field trip?”

“Yeah.”

We had gone on a field trip to the aquarium one time and we both were separated from the main group. It was a scary experience.

“You really helped me out there. I was really scared I was going to be alone and forgotten. But you did your best to cheer me up and comfort me. You even gave me that gummy shark keychain you won. I still have it on my bag.”

“You do?”

“Of course! You were really cool back then.”

“... So I’m not cool now?”

“No! What I meant was-”

Her reaction was so unexpected that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m just playing.”

“Hmph… You’re mean…”

“Sorry, sorry. But thank you.”

She had made me feel a lot better. She smiled, and got back up.

“Well, let’s head to the prayer area. The group’s waiting.”

I got up and followed her. I don’t know if she wanted to be heard but I heard her mumble as we walked away from the tulips.

“I’d do anything to help you.”

We reunited back with the group and walked our way there.

“So… what did you guys do?”

Julio didn’t face me as he asked his question.

“Nothing much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She just came by to bring me over.”

We arrived, as we waited patiently for our turn. The queue was quite long when we arrived but it was nearly time. Julio was quite excited.

“Seceele, what are you going to wish for?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m surprised it isn't an infinite amount of money. What about you Xue?”

“World peace, of course.”

“Liar~, stop trying to make yourself seem like a good person.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going to wish for?”

“Not telling~”

“Why you-!”

“How about you, Yuphie?”

“Hm?”

It didn’t seem like she had heard him. Maybe she was too busy thinking about her wish. Before Julio could ask her again, it was our turn.

We climbed up the stairs and arrived at the prayer area. We dropped our coins and clapped our hands together and closed our eyes. Silence ensued around us.

Please… let everyone have a nice future.

I had focused on those words as I made my wish. I wanted to wish for everyone’s sake because… Well I didn’t really have anything I wanted-

Yuphie.

An image of Yuphie popped into my mind.

…

We walked back down the stairs and headed out to get some lunch.

“So what did everyone wish for?”

Julio kept being curious and wanted to know everyone’s wish, although I doubted he would find any luck. We all collectively ignored his question.

I spotted a stand selling warm churros and quickly split from the group. I walked up to it and was greeted by a lively owner.

“Hey boy, what can I get ya?”

“I’ll take 1 bag of cinnamon churros please.”

“Coming right up. And for your girlfriend?”

Huh? Girlfriend?

“Isn’t the lass in the white dress your girlfriend? You came together, right?”

I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Um… yes… She is.”

“I’ll give you another bag for half the price since you seem like a good boyfriend~”

“Um… Yeah, I’d like a 1 bag of chocolate churros then. Thank you.”

She smiled.

“You got it!”

After a bit, she handed me the bags along with a voucher.

“Come by again!”

I smiled and walked towards the peculiar girl.

“That’s a lot of food,” she said. “How are you going to eat all of that?”

“Actually, this is for you.”

I handed her a bag of chocolate churros.

“But… why?”

“Well… They are your favourite, aren’t they?”

“Let me pay you back then…”

“No, it’s fine. Consider it a thanks for letting me into your group.”

I couldn’t tell her about that whole social interaction I had before.

“But I would’ve let you in anyway.”

“It doesn’t matter, just enjoy it.”

I couldn’t handle anymore embarrassment.

She took a small bite and smiled, thoroughly enjoying the warmth of the food.

“Thank you.”

The rest of the day was completing our other daily tasks, but I couldn’t help but notice Julio staring at me randomly throughout the day. As we arrived back at the hotel, I received a message from him.

Meet me at Room 203 at 8pm.

“So… what did you call me here for?”

It was only Julio and I in his room. I sat opposite him. He had prepared two cups of water. It felt like a business meeting.

“I’ll give it to you straight… What do you think of Yuphie?”

He took a sip of water.

I didn’t want to tell him we were childhood friends.

“Well, I think she’s a good person.”

“Are you a fan of her?”

“Um… yeah?”

I went along with it. I wasn’t really good with confrontations.

He sighed and took another sip.

“Oh so that’s what it is… I totally thought you and her had something. I guess she’s just being nice to you since you’re her fan and all.”

He was completely wrong, but nevertheless I went along with it.

“Yep. She’s a nice person.”

“Haha, I know right. I was in her class last year. She’s a really great person. But don’t cross the line with her, okay? You’re just a fan, nothing more.”

I didn’t like how he put himself above me.

“Yeah, okay. Anyways, I’m gonna head out.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.”

I walked away and closed the door. I could hear him breathe a sigh of relief as I left.

I had found myself in front of a vending machine. There were many options as I glazed over all the assortments of items. There was a lot on my mind.

“He’s definitely about to do something sketchy…”

The receptionist had muttered to herself. I was taking too long to decide. I clicked on a button and the can dropped into the slot.

“Coffee? At this hour?”

Yuphie had spotted me in the common area and was wearing a pink and white hoodie.

“I couldn’t really decide so I just clicked a random one. Are you going to get something?”

“Yeah.”

She pressed a button.

“Chocolate milk… You really are a kid.”

“Shut up…”

She was going to put her coins in, but I quickly fed the machine a note.

“Eh… why?”

“My treat.”

“... Thank you.”

She picked up her drink from the slot.

I was going to leave when she tugged on my arm.

“Hey… are you doing anything now?”

“No, I was going to my room. Why?”

“Wanna hang out with us?”

Us?

“Who’s us?”

“You know… Our group plus a few others.”

Oh right, Xue did mention that there was a small games night that he was going too. I bet the person’s room they’re using will regret hosting it when it's the morning.

“Alright I’ll be there in a bit. Which room is it?”

“203.”

203…

“Julio’s room?”

“Yeah, how’d you know? Did he tell you already?”

“Yeah… Something like that.”

“Oh that’s great, I’m glad you’re getting along. I’ll see you there.”

She smiled and left. I took a sip of my coffee. It tasted bitter.

I lay down on my bed and looked at the time. It was 9pm. 30 minutes had gone by since I had talked to her.

I didn’t want to go…

I didn’t want to see Julio after that. He clearly doesn’t like me.

But at the same time I don’t want to make Yuphie sad.

Alright. I’ll stay for a couple of minutes. That should be fine.

I reluctantly got up and made my way to his room. I was outside his doorway mentally preparing myself. I put my hand on the knob and was about to twist it when I could hear laughter coming from the other side. It seemed everyone inside was having fun.

…

It was probably going to be awkward if another presence was added.

I let go of the knob and returned to my room. I’m sure it wouldn’t matter if I were there or not.

Instead I decided to pass the time by reading some manga. I was snuggled in my bed, when I heard a knock at my door. It was only 9:30pm. Surely the teachers aren’t going to make me go to bed this early.

I opened the door and to my surprise, there stood a rather annoyed Yuphie. She stared at me coldly.

“Um… Hi?”

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

“... Sorry for not turning up?”

She made her way into the room and closed the door behind her and sat on my bed without saying a word. I sat down next to her, ready to get an earful. I made the wrong move.

“Why didn’t you let me know you weren’t coming? I was waiting for you.”

“Sorry I fell asleep… And I forgot to message you and… Wait, what?”

She was pouting and I felt insanely guilty.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you.”

“Anything? In that case…”

All of a sudden she pushed me onto my bed and knelt above me. I could feel her breath on my neck as her eyes watched over me. Our clothes were touching as I felt myself sink into the mattress. What was she doing?!

I closed my eyes not knowing what to expect when she pulled out a pair of controllers.

“Let’s play.”

--------------------------------------------------------

“And first place again~”

We had played a couple of rounds of Mario Kart on my bed. I had lost all the rounds so far.

“Why are we playing this game…?”

“Because why not? We used to play this game for hours. It’s fun isn’t it?”

“For you of course…”

“Just beat me then, it isn’t that hard right? Or are you gonna tell me I’m cheating like you always did before?”

I kept quiet, focusing on the race, but it was no use. I couldn’t beat her after all these years.

“Ahhh, that was fun. I’m glad we got to spend time together like we did back then.”

It was pretty fun. It felt like I was a child.

“You sure are slow at these games. Totally opposite of real life.” she said, poking me in the arm. “Like when you were the anchor for the athletics festival.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have a choice since the other guy got injured.”

“Well you were so fast. I couldn’t tell you before but… you were really cool back then.”

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without the cheering from the sidelines. The uniforms were cute.”

This seemed to have caught her slightly off guard.

“You were watching…?”

She blushed as she remembered what she was wearing.

“Well, it's hard not to when you’re wearing something like that… I’m going to shower, I’ll be right back.”

“You haven’t showered yet?”

“I was busy reading manga.”

“So you weren’t sleeping, huh?”

“I mean- I…”

I left quickly. I screwed up. Twice.

As the water ran down my body I couldn’t help but think of the situation I was in. I’m sure all the other boys would kill me right now if they knew what was happening right now. I was going to be extra careful that nothing would happen. It’s just 2 childhood friends hanging out, nothing more, nothing less.

I dried myself off and got ready to play another round but…

Yuphie was sleeping soundly in my bed. Was I really taking that long?

Her chest raised slowly as she let out a murmur. It seemed like she was in a deep slumber. I put the blanket over her and made sure she wouldn’t wake up with a cold.

She really should be more aware of more stuff…

I decided to rest on the floor and sleep. There was no chance I was going to sleep with her…

Is what I thought until 30 minutes later, when I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried. My back was getting sore and I did not want to have to deal with it in the morning.

I decided to get up and sleep on the bed, as far to the edge as I could.

Maybe now I can fall asleep.

“Mrgh…”

I heard another mumble from Yuphie. Was she having a nightmare?

Worried, I decided to turn around to check on her…

But instead of her back, my face was centimetres away from hers in an instant. Too stunned to move back, she wrapped one of her arms around my body and smiled.

“Mhm… Cosy~”

I could feel her leg squeezing its way between mine. Her hair smelled like peaches and her other arm placed on my chest.

I know I shouldn’t be happy about it but I kind of didn’t mind it…

She seemed so vulnerable. I felt my hand raise and my finger reached for her face…

No!

I smacked my hand back, hitting myself in the face, silently grimacing in pain. You idiot! Stupid thoughts!

It was way too hard to fall asleep now…

--------------------------------------------------------

“Ngh…”

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt the sun shining on my body. Still a bit half-asleep I slowly stood up and blinked. Yuphie was sitting on the chair, on her phone.

…

Wait, Yuphie was in my room…

The memories of last night flashed across my mind and I found myself stumbling over my words.

“Um- It’s not what it looks like! Well, kind of but-!”

“Relax, I get…”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I just fell asleep on your bed. Sorry about that.”

“No… It’s okay but… You aren’t… mad at me or anything?”

“Well, you didn’t do anything weird, right?”

My fingers froze.

“No.”

“Then it’s alright. Anyways, I’m going to head out to my room now to prepare… See you later.”

She left and I flopped back down onto my pillow and put my arm above my eyes.

“You idiot…”

Breakfast was the same old complimentary assortment of cereal and milk and we quickly wrapped things up with some free time before forming back into our groups.

This time we were headed to the city to see the more urbanised side of Kyoto. We had planned to visit a cat cafe, restaurant and finish off with the aquarium. Seceele seemed especially excited as we headed to the cafe.

“So she really likes cats…”

Xue, drinking some chocolate milk, walked beside me, gazing at Seceele. It was so obvious.

“So you really like Seceele?”

“W-well she’s so cool… I can’t help it.”

“Eh, so you like Seceele?”

Julio had barged into the conversation having heard some romance talk.

“Yeah… Do you like her?” Xue said, cautiously.

He laughed.

“No, not at all. The one I’m after is…”

He pointed at Yuphie.

“She’s mine.”

Xue seemed surprised and they both clapped their hands.

“Hey, you help me, I help you?”

“You know it~”

As Julio left, Xue looked at me puzzled.

“Sorry.”

“Huh? Why are you apologizing?”

“We forgot to include you in the alliance.”

“I don’t want to be in an alliance with Thing 1 and Thing 2.”

“That’s rude… Well if you ever need help with romance, Julio and I will help.”

Heh… If only you knew.

The cat cafe had a warm atmosphere, filled with carpet and naturalistic feelings. Wooden walls with painting filled the room. We were greeted by the staff and were escorted to the play room.

Inside, a countless number of cats roamed. There were all types from black to brown to white to grey. The variety just went on.

I wasn’t much of a cat person so I sat by myself as I took photos.

Seceele was having the time of her life, as she had created her harem of cats. She had at least 10 that wanted her attention. If you included Xue, it’d be 11.

Meanwhile Julio and Yuphie were chatting as they played with the cats. They were sharing a toy, passing it to one another.

I sipped on the coffee I had ordered.

“Meow…”

I turned around and an orange cat with yellow eyes was behind me, staring at my coffee. It had a black spot where one of its eyes were, making it look like an eyepatch.

“Heh, you can’t have this little guy.”

It walked and sat beside me and closed its eyes. It seemed like it was taking a nap.

“Wow, that's really rare…”

An employee had cleaned up the dishes as she noticed the cat beside me.

“What is?”

“It’s just that Cook rarely warms up to people. ”

“I see.”

I wonder why but I felt a strange connection to it.

“Wha-”

Crash!

The sound of plates spilling filled the room as one of the employees looked remorseful. Seceele sat there, as water dripped from her leg.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean too!”

“It’s alright. It’s only water.”

“I’ll get a towel!”

The employee rushed to the back as Seceele waited. Xue took off his jumper and offered it to her.

“Here.”

“It’s fine, she’s getting a towel.

“You’re gonna get cold.”

He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He wiped her leg himself, making Seceele embarrassed. I guess she wasn’t used to relying on others.

We left the cafe and headed to a sushi restaurant. As we ate, we talked about the trip and they talked about last night’s gathering. Apparently the highlight of the night was when Yuphie got lost in Jenga and did a fake confession scene for everyone. I felt a bit out of place, but I was too focused on the inari. It tasted just like my hometown’s.

The final stop was the aquarium. We walked through the displays, taking photos and reading the information board.

The blue-ringed octopus has a deadly poison that can kill up to 8 humans.

Its rings glowed blue as it bobbed in the water. What an interesting creature. I wonder what it would taste like. Could you make calamari out of it?

I took a photo and went to regroup with everyone but it seemed like they went ahead of me. I think I was the only one reading the information board.

I looked around and saw Yuphie’s hat in the distance. What a good marker.

I walked towards that direction but as I walked closer, I slowed down and came to a stop. I turned around and walked away.

It already seemed like Julio and her were having a good time. I wouldn’t want to intrude.

Instead, I decided to visit the sharks.

People are afraid of sharks, but I think they’re fascinating. They’re strong but intelligent and have unique appearances.

I pulled out my phone and took some photos.

“Found you!”

I felt a soft tap on my head and turned around.

Yuphie, who was carrying an octopus plush toy, smiled.

“I knew you would be in the shark section.”

“Weren’t you with Julio?”

“Yeah, he told me all about the turtles. Now Lei sir, please educate me about sharks.”

She hugged her octopus in her arms, pretending she was a grade-schooler on a field trip.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already shared all my shark facts with you the last time we went to the aquarium.”

On the day we got lost, a random worker had asked us what we were doing. I was way too nervous and I just kept spouting all the information about sharks I knew. So much so that the employee heard and gave me a keychain when I surprised him with my knowledge.

“It really calmed me down knowing you were just as nervous as I was. Maybe even more.”

A shark swam by causing the water to ripple. It felt like it was just her and I, underwater and isolated from everyone with a kingdom of pet sharks circling us. She looked at me with a dreamy gaze.

“Hey… I got something for you.”

She pulled out a plush hammer head shark from her bag and handed it to me. It had a really dorky face. Its eyes were made of dots which were absurdly away from each other and a small straight line as a mouth.

So cute.

“... But why?”

“Well you treated me one time… Well twice. And you also looked after me. So this is my appreciation for you.”

“You didn’t have too. Plus it didn’t cost much.”

“I don’t care, I wanted to. So say thank you already.”

She was quite adamant about it.

“Thank you very much.”

“Good.”

She smiled, as I accepted her gift.

The same smile she gave me when we first met. The same smile when she laughed at my shark jokes. The same smile she had when she cheered me on during the race. The same smile that…

“I love you.”

“Huh?”

Huh?

I… just said that? The words slipped out of my mouth as I felt my face grow red. Why did I say that just now? Now isn’t the time! She isn’t even saying anything… Idiot!

I couldn’t really tell what Yuphie was thinking. She kinda just stared at me blankly.

How do I screw up everything?

“Um…”

She began to say something, but was interrupted by the rest of our group.

“We finally found you guys. We’re about to go wrap things up here and get some ice-cream,” Julio said, waving his arms.

“Well-”

“Oh, ice-cream? Good idea! Let’s head there.”

I quickly moved the conversation outside. I needed some fresh air.

I don’t think the rest of them had noticed the slightly awkward atmosphere surrounding Yuphie and I as we walked to an ice-cream store. The rest of them went inside to get their treat while Xue and I stood outside to wait.

“It’s so cold…”

Xue had his arms crossed as he tried to ignore the chilly winds.

“You should’ve just waited for her to get a towel.”

“Shut it…”

“And now you can’t get some ice-cream. You’re a smart one.”

“Oh yeah? Well at least I’m smart enough to know that I shouldn’t confess in random situations.”

“Wait, how’d you know?”

“What do you mean? I’m talking about how I was going to confess to her straight after that.”

“Oh… right that’s what I meant.”

“How come you’re not eating?”

“Eh… not in the mood.”

The others returned soon after. Seceele handed Xue a bag.

“What’s this?”

“Churros. Nice and warm for the kid who got a cold.”

Xue smiled nervously. His heart definitely skipped a beat.

“Thank you. What did the rest of you get?”

“I got myself some good old fashioned choc-chip.”

“And Yuphie and I decided to share a cup of caramel, chocolate and strawberry sorbet.”

Julio and Yuphie both stuck their spoons into the cup and took a bite together.

“Nothing beats this combination!”

“You said it~!”

As we headed back I could feel myself getting colder.

We went back to the hotel and settled down for dinner. The steak tasted like cardboard, and the vegetables felt like plastic. I couldn’t eat much.

“Lei…?”

I felt a hand tap my shoulder. Was it Yuphie? I turned around.

“Mr Yil?”

“Please pack your things up. We need to head out.”

“Huh? Where?”

“I’ll explain it in the car, but you need to pack your things. Right now.”

I was really confused, but Mr Yil wasn’t the type of guy to mess around. I left my half-eaten dinner and headed to my room and packed my things away. As I headed out I ran into Xue.

“Huh? Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, Mr Yil told me to head out.”

“Maybe you got in trouble and are going back home~”

“That’s something that would happen to you. Anyways, I’ll see you later.”

It didn’t take long to get sorted since I didn’t bring much and Mr Yil was waiting for me in the lobby. He picked up my belongings and put them in the trunk. We left the camp site and headed onto the highway.

It was getting dark as the moon lit up the night sky.

“So… where are we headed?”

There was a brief silence, the only noise coming from the sound of the tyres rubbing against the asphalt. The brightness kept interchanging from dim to bright, as we passed by the lamps that illuminated the highway.

“It’s about your father.”

I felt a sword stab my heart. My father…?

Mr Yil sighed, completely focused on the road ahead.

“He was in an accident. He’s in the hospital getting treated right now.”

…

I didn’t hear that right. I know I didn’t.

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re lying! Let me out!”

I kicked the seat in front of me in anger.

“Lei! Calm down!”

He had turned around and held onto my thigh.

“Wait, shouldn’t you be looking at the road?”

“Ah… You’re right…”

He faced the other way and scratched his head.

“I’m sorry.”

I don’t know if he heard it, but I closed my eyes and slept. I could feel a tear roll down my face.

Hello and welcome to the news. This week’s headlines…

I found myself aimlessly watching the news in the living room. It was 1am. About 4 hours after I had visited the hospital.

When we arrived, we were told that a surgery was being performed, meaning we couldn’t see my father. They had said we could visit tomorrow morning. I didn’t bother complaining. I was too tired of all this.

Mr Yil had dropped me home and was going to pick me up tomorrow. He left with a troubled look on his face. I felt bad for him.

I lay on the floor for another hour before I decided to do anything. I took a shower, but didn’t wash myself. I stood there blankly. I made myself 2 packets of instant noodles. And here I was watching the news.

I noticed my phone had been going off a lot but ignored it. I didn’t have the energy to reply.

Mom…

I got up to visit the prayer room. A picture of my mother was situated on a shelf with incense and pillows. She was smiling after I won a classical piano competition.

I sat in front of the photo.

My mother was a beautiful woman. Her smile was everything. I loved the way she smiled every time I needed it. But deep down I knew she was suffering.

She had passed away after getting hit by a truck.

My last memory of her was when she smiled after I had won a piano competition.

We were leaving the venue, when a drunk driver pulled out of nowhere. They had rushed her to the hospital but it was too late. I had never seen my father cry that much.

“Mom… I wish you were here… I don’t know what to do anymore… I can’t lose my father too.”

I don’t remember much after that, but I knew I cried myself to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

Ding Dong!

I heard the doorbell ring as I woke up from my slumber.

Ah… today’s the day.

I quickly got ready and opened the door. Outside was Mr Yil, dressed in a formal suit. I had no idea whether I looked lively.

“Shall we?”

We went into his car and headed to the hospital.

“You eat anything?”

“No.”

“What do you feel like?”

I could see in the mirror that he had raised his eyebrow.

“I don’t know.”

“Pick anything.”

“Maybe… A cheeseburger.”

Minutes later, he had got me the cheeseburger as promised. It was the best thing I had eaten my whole life.

We arrived at the hospital and one of the nurses had welcomed us into the room.

My father looked like he was sound asleep, breathing deeply. He had an oxygen mask on as his eyes were closed shut.

“The surgery was a success. Right now he’s in a controlled state, and should be out and about soon.”

“That’s great news, isn’t it?” Mr Yil said, smiling.

“Yeah, great news…”

No… this wasn’t an accident.

The nurse had said he was hit by a car but… Flashes of his mindless state filled my brain. What if… he tried to kill himself?

“Lei? Do you want to stay here longer? I’m going to get a drink.”

“Oh yeah… I’ll stay for a bit.”

He left the room leaving me and my father alone.

I spent my entire weekend with him. I talked to him about the class trip. About school. About my friends. About mom.

Even though the nurse had said that talking to him would help him get through this, it honestly helped me get through this. Just verbally saying all my memories and feelings out loud made me a little bit happier.

Mr Yil had also shown up regularly, making sure I was eating well and okay. He was a great teacher. I felt bad dragging him into this. He had asked when I would attend school. I said I’d come this week.

I stood outside my classroom and sighed. I didn’t really know how to act. I would probably be questioned a lot.

I opened the door and was ready for the questions.

Everyone looked at me in silence as I sat down at my table.

“Hey, long time no see.”

Xue tapped my shoulder as he sat down in his chair.

“Ah… Yeah.”

“Look, I’ll be straight with you. I don’t know much about what happened. I tried to text you and all but you didn’t reply but that’s fine. I’m just glad you’re alright. I’m here for you.”

This was one of the rare times I had seen him be all sincere and caring. Honestly it was weird that it made me laugh.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because… This isn’t like you at all.”

“Bro… Fine, whatever.”

The class went on as per usual. There were a few stares here and there, but they didn’t ask me about why I had suddenly left. At lunch, I was confronted by Yuphie.

“Hey…”

She seemed slightly cautious. She didn’t want to step on a landmine.

“Hey.”

“Um… About the trip… Actually nevermind…”

She nervously clasped her hands together, staring down at my feet.

“I’m fine. Sorry I couldn’t reply to you, I wasn’t in the mood at the time.”

“Huh?”

She had called my phone numerous times over the weekend. My notifications had been filled with missed calls from her.

“How about we head to this cafe I saw after school? It’ll be my treat.”

I wanted to make it up to her. Her eyes lit up and she smiled.

“Sure!”

The rest of the day was fairly normal, attending class, taking down notes, working on questions. Everything seemed to move much quicker than usual.

I met up with Yuphie in front of the lockers and led the way. We passed by the school gates and turned left.

“It’s been quite a long time since we’ve walked somewhere together. We used to always do it when we were kids.”

She had a joy in her steps. Maybe she was hungry.

“Yeah it was nice. You always made a weird face when we passed by that one flower store.”

“Well, he had a weird vibe… I don’t know. I’m so glad he’s not there anymore.”

“Yeah… The new owner is a really nice lady. She’s got a really soft voice.”

“Oh? You have a thing for older ladies~?”

“Well, they are mature and cool.”

“Wait, wait… You actually do?”

She was pleasantly surprised… Oh.

“Ah, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re older than me but I didn’t mean anything that… Okay well, sometimes you do have the air of a really mature girl.”

“What?”

“I mean like… When you’re around everyone you seem really… cool.”

I kept digging my hole deeper and deeper to the point where I needed an excavator.

We arrived at the cafe and ordered our desserts. I got myself an Iced coffee. Yuphie settled on a chocolate shake and waffles.

We spent the afternoon just talking about anything. The coffee tasted sweeter than usual.

I could feel other people watching us. Most of the customers were wearing a school uniform and they were stunned by her beauty. Probably stunned that she was with someone like me.

“Hey, I’m kinda full… Can you finish this piece off?”

She had one waffle left and had her arms stretched out holding onto the fork. Did she want me to eat it straight off it…?

I thought that was a thing couples do… And yet she seemed perfectly fine with it. Maybe I was wrong.

I leaned forward and ate it. A bit of the syrup got onto my lips. The waffle was nice and soft. I should have gotten a plate for myself. I licked the corner of my lips.

“Thanks… It was really good.”

“No… problem.”

She whispered something afterwards but I couldn’t quite hear.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at whos number it was. It was Mr Yil.

I looked at Yuphie and she motioned that I could pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Lei? Come to the hospital. Right now.”

He hung up.

“So… what did he say?”

“He said come to the hospital. Sorry for cutting this d… hangout short, but I need to go.”

“Can I come with you?”

She asked as she took a sip of water. Her eyes glanced over me, trying to read my expressions.

“Yeah, that’s cool.”

I paid the bill and we headed to the hospital. Mr Yil was waiting for us at the entrance.

“It’s great to see you, Lei,” he said. “And you too, Yuphie. I didn’t expect to see you two together.”

“We’ve been friends since childhood.”

Yuphie replied and we headed to the room. The door was closed and there was an eerie silence.

“He’s probably resting right now,” the nurse said. She suggested that I would go in alone to have a moment with him, as his relative.

“Everything will be alright.”

Yuphie gave her final words of encouragement as I entered the still room. My father lay motionless on the bed, inclined forward, and breathing slowly. He had bandages wrapped around his arms and legs. The vitals showed information that I couldn’t really understand.

I sat down on the lone chair provided and for the first time in a while, properly looked at him. It was like before my mother's death. He seemed like a normal man, sleeping peacefully and yet it was hard to believe he was going through… something.

Huh?

I wiped my eyes. Tears.

Haha… Why now? Why am I crying? I had so much time to talk to him. So much time to grieve together and help one another. What’s the point in crying now when its already too late?

“Are you crying?”

?

My father’s hand grabbed my thighs.

“Eh? You’re… Alive?”

“What do you mean by, ‘You’re alive?” he asked, "I was just taking a nap.”

I couldn’t contain my tears any longer as they kept rolling down my face. He smiled wearily and comforted me.

“Lei… I know I haven’t been the same since Mom died. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. That wasn’t how a father should have acted. But I promise, I love you from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry I disappeared from your life. I want to be happy with you and be by your side.”

“Then why did you… Jump in front of the car?”

“Huh? When did I do that? I was just walking and a speeding bastard hit me. It was his fault. I can’t wait to get some insurance money.”

“Wait… you didn’t try to die?”

“No! I can’t leave you by yourself. I would never do something like that.”

The nurse came in and Yuphie was outside waiting. Father welcomed her inside.

“Yuphie, it’s been awhile since I last saw you. How have you been? Thanks for taking care of Lei for all those years.”

“Believe me, it was a lot of effort…”

“Hey, don’t let me remind you of when you got lost and I had to give you my snacks to cheer you up.”

“Hey!”

We talked for a while before taking the bus home.

“I’m glad your father is alright.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” she asked.

It was a question that she had probably been thinking about the whole day. But thanks to her everything seemed good.

“Yeah, I’m fine now. Thank you.”

“Good!” she laughed.

The bus pulled over as Yuphie got off for her stop.

“See you tomorrow!”

“See you.”

Her smile was the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. This whole time from the camp to now, she had been there for me. I knew I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.

I love her.

And then I remembered. The aquarium. The confession. We were interrupted, I can’t remember what she said. Did she remember it…?

I didn’t know what I should do.

The next day, the school was lit up by the sun. The summery smell felt warmer than usual. I walked into the classroom and was greeted by my friends.

“Everything’s fine.”

As soon as I told them the news, they all breathed a sigh of relief. We ended up talking for a while and somehow I ended up treating them to some ice-cream later.

I was able to focus on the work for most of the lesson. Science, maths, english, history, it didn’t matter what I was learning. I was breezing through the syllabus. My head felt so much clearer and it was so much easier to focus. I didn’t feel the need to spin my pen around at all.

“Lei, could you stay back for a bit?” Mr Yil said, as he wiped the board and dismissed the class.

“We’ll be waiting for you at the school gate, alright?”

“I want my ice-cream, y’know.”

“See you.”

The group left and I approached Mr Yil.

“How’s your father doing?”

“He’s fine. The doctor said he’d be out soon.”

“That’s great. I’m here if you need anything else, alright?”

“Thanks.”

He was a great teacher.

“Oh, and remember to do pages 655 and 656 alright?”

“Will do, will do.”

If only he could let me chill for the rest of classes.

I reunited with my friends and we headed to the local supermarket. I could hear my wallet crying in pain. I would need to pick up another shift at work to financially recover.

As the group began to pick their flavours, Yuphie nudged at my arm sleeve. She held up 2 colours.

“Should I choose strawberry or mango?”

“How am I supposed to know what you want?”

“Decide already.”

“Fine. Mango.”

It was slightly cheaper.

“Hm, okay strawberry it is!”

“What? How does that make sense?”

“I just felt like choosing the opposite of whatever you said. Thanks!”

She smiled and pulled out a third flavour. Grape.

“For you.”

“Thanks… Wait, but I’m paying for it anyway!”

She laughed and I ended up losing 1 hour worth of work.

We ended up talking a lot. About anything. From our childhood memories, to our school work, I just couldn’t help but stare at her smile.

After hanging out and resting at the park, it was time to head our separate ways.

“Well… I should probably get going…”

Wait.

“It was nice catching up. I’ll see you around…”

She turned away and headed home.

“Wait!”

She turned around with surprise, her hair whisking in the sunlight. Her eyes were filled with longing and curiosity?

“What… is it?”

I gathered up my thought and courage and decided to make my move.

“About… At the aquarium… You didn’t give me… your response.”

My heart was filled with butterflies, maybe even with some moths… I clenched my fist in suspense, waiting for her reaction.

“... Oh sorry… I didn’t hear you then.”

“Huh?!”

No way…

She then snickered and her face contorted into a sly smile.

“I’m joking… you idiot… I love you. I love you too.”

She stepped closer and intertwined her hands with mine.

“I’ve liked you this whole time. I always wanted to… reconnect with you… and well tell you how much you mean to me… It’s always been you. God, you make my mind go crazy.”

“Yuphine… be my girlfriend… please.”

“Of course… I’ll always be yours.”

It felt like a fever dream, as she pressed her lips onto mine. The warmth of her body against me, her face flushed with the sun and her hands darting across my body with desire.

She pulled back and smiled.

“Let’s go home.”

She took my hands and we walked back to my place. She’s mine. All mine…

And that would never change. It started with her and she had finished my fairytale.