The Night I Died

“Breathe… damn it! Gah! Why is it so hard to breathe!”

My chest tightened, my lungs shrinking. It felt like my body was slowly shutting down. I quickly clutched my chest, fighting for air, every breath shallow and burning. Hot sweat soaked through the sheets as I gasped. I closed my eyes tight, my body shaking. I soon began to convulse. I felt the darkness surround me.

For the first time ever in my life, I actually felt fear.

To be honest, I don't think I ever felt fear. Fear was nothing for me, come to think of it. Ever since I was a baby until now, I was always daring, pushing my emotions to their limit. From walking down the stairs when I first learned to walk, to lying to my parents’ faces, to performing stunts that no student would dare do, and even doing a summoning in a haunted mansion. I felt no fear.

Nervousness? Never heard of it.

Anxiety? Doesn't exist.

I know I wasn’t normal, but I didn’t care. It helped me push on, making me who I am now. My family thought I was broken, seeing me with no fear, like I’m some crazy daredevil who actually wants to see death. You know, some say I can laugh at death.

But tonight, death was laughing at me.

“Damn… damn! Not like this!” I quickly moved my body and turned with the last energy I had. I landed on the floor hard, trying my best to live. My hand was over my chest as I gripped hard. My breathing slowed as I couldn’t take in air. Darkness fell onto me again. I gasped one last time before my eyes slowly shut. My body finally gave up. Soon I couldn’t feel anything. My body went numb.

Losing… focus… darkness…

---

You know, I actually like the dark. Some people fear the darkness since they cannot see or make out anything in it. For all I know, that shadow standing in the corner is some demon waiting to take you, or some unholy being trying to eat you alive. But me? I see a friend in that corner. A friend who is lonely and abandoned because nobody likes it. We don’t understand darkness, but I think I’m the only one who does. I’ll make friends with the darkness and make sure it’s liked.

What I don’t like is having the sun hitting my face. It feels too damn hot… ugh… my face feels like it’s burning off right now.

Wait, I’m supposed to be dead, right?

I began to open my eyes, still on my belly with my hand underneath my chest. The warm sun glowed in my room through the window, hitting me. The branches moved as the soft wind passed by on the autumn day. The cool AC lightly touched my body as I began to wake. My heart was beating slowly, feeling normal. I grabbed the floor as I slowly lifted my upper body from the ground. Strange… I felt okay, like I wasn’t just dying.

The pain in my chest? Gone.

The burning sensation in my lungs? Gone.

Was it a nightmare? Was it all fake? Maybe something happened that I didn’t know about. Maybe that was all my fear building up through the years, finally letting out, my body not knowing what to do.

I slowly got up from the ground, looking around my room, confused. I began to pat myself off, brushing my body. Something felt odd. I also didn’t feel right either. Something didn't sit with me well. I raised my eyes, rubbing them and blinking in confusion.

There had to be something wrong. This had to be some joke. I was just dying, and it felt too real. How am I even alive right now? I place my hand on my heart and sure enough ,it was beating. I leave a long sigh. I shook my head, finally regaining my bearings.

I began to walk as I headed to my bathroom, ready to start my morning routine. I flipped the switch to turn on the lights. The sharp light hit me, making me go blind for a second. My eyes focused, still feeling a little tired from what just happened last night. My eyes adjusted to the bathroom lights. Still, my vision was blurry. I began to refocus as I approached the sink. My heart skipped a beat as I froze still.

I noticed my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Is that… a… a… girl?!

No way… this can’t be right!

I stared hard at the reflection as my heart began to race. I felt blood rushing through me. It looked like a girl who was very pale, almost like she fell in white paint. And her eyes… pink? No, reddish, or light pink? I’m not sure, but I couldn’t stop staring deep into her eyes. Her long white hair didn’t help either. I slowly began to walk toward the mirror. The more I approached, the faster my heart beat.

This girl was doing the same, as if she was mimicking my every move. I raised my hand to touch the mirror and she, too, raised hers. My blood rushed even more now.

I felt the cold glass between my fingertips. I didn’t see myself in the mirror.

I no longer had a reflection.

“Am… am I alive?” I whispered to myself.

My face went cold. My whole body went numb. My expression quickly became shocked. My heart  gave out. I felt my body begin to shut down. My legs grew weak. I just couldn’t hold myself anymore.

“D-Did I just say t-that? I… didn’t e-even…”

My vision soon going dark as I finally pass out.