Double Youth

Yuki stepped forward to interject in this secret talk. “You’re being awfully vague in front of us. We don’t know where she’s going or what she’s doing. What if something happens?”

“It keeps things protected. Only I and Michiko know the mission. So if anything happens to you out on the battlefield, you can’t give up information you don’t know.”

“But nothing will happen if we follow your strategy.”

“Your confidence in my plans, while pleasing, doesn’t mean things work out perfectly. I don’t control all the variables, just guide them to the best course I can. I’m reducing the risk to the failure of all objectives.”

“Even if something did happen, I’d never say anything.” He looked over at Saki with determination never to give up on a friend.

A bit of a bemused nod came from Aya. “Yes, heroics and bravado are useful for maintaining morale, but the reality is that people break.” She looked over to Saki once more. “You are not to discuss what’s in those documents with anyone.”

“I understand.”

Chapter 527 – Double Youth

A few hours of stewing on the news, Yuki went to Saki’s room. It was rare that either of them used their own rooms due to the nature of their need to constantly guard Aya and previously Kumasaka. They received them when they were officially recognized as personal guards to the Kumasaka Clan. It ended up making more sense to have their rooms on the Matsushina grounds rather than Kumasaka due to their assignment. In retrospect it turned out to be a good choice.

Yuki couldn’t remember the last time he went to his. Each day had him in Aya’s office or nearby chambers. Only using a small room meant for sleeping and changing with little less personal touch. Ever since the death of Kumasaka that had been shaken up. He lost any of the clothes that were stored over there and he never stocked much of anything here. It was more an emergency store than anything else for him.

The first few days he didn’t even bother to change. He was always alert and on edge that something in Aya’s carefully laid plan had been exposed. He couldn’t risk any attack even if Saki told him to calm down. For some reason, she had more faith in the plans going off without issue than him. He would have figured her for more of the pessimist than him.

Arriving outside of her room, he knocked for his announcement. ‘It just feels like she’s going along with all of this too easily…’ A grim thought, like many that he had today, passed through while he waited for her.

Another dark scenario came to mind. In the unknown and alone, injured and on the run. Every moment risked death and saw no escape. Shouting of enemies came from all corners never far from reach. A cold chill persisted down the neck threatening to paralyze the body. But she just kept marching forward stubbornly focused on the mission.

He didn’t enjoy how his mind toyed with his worry. Pushing it down only allowed for another to spring up. ‘Saki’s an adult…like the rest of us…in a weird sort of way…she can protect herself.’ It was something he kept telling himself to try to subdue the fear that wormed through his mind. Sometimes it worked longer than others. For now, it didn’t do a very good job.

The door slid open and Saki looked at him with both disappointment and non-surprise. “You’re not talking me out of this.” She turned back to the room as she worked to put together what she needed for her extended mission.

Yuki stepped into the room still determined to talk. “Yeah, I know. You’re stubborn, not sure where you picked up that trait from,” he remarked with obvious sarcasm.

“Then what are you here for?”

“Goodbye I guess?” She stared at him not completely believing his excuse. “And some peace of mind.”

“That sounds more accurate.”

“Well can you blame me? I know we can’t really die here. We’ll just return once this world is finished, but it still hurts. Quite a lot.” His body shivered like someone walked over his grave. “I can’t remember it, but my body seems to remember all of the deaths from the last world. It makes me sick sometimes when it overwhelms me.”

Saki paused her packing knowing what he talked about. “Bury it. Keep it sealed away. If you freeze up in front of death, it’ll get you killed. That’s not going to be good for leading troops on the battlefield.”

He sighed a little. “Yes, I’m aware. Let’s just say I’ve not been as successful as you it would seem.”

“The one with the greatest mental concentration of us?”

“I’m pretty sure Yumi and Yori have me beat in that department. We’re no match for their innate abilities.”

“Without augmentation.”

“It’s a trained and developed skill, not a natural one. I’m not that good at it. Ayumi…Eudokia was definitely superior.”

“Listen to yourself. Don’t make excuses. You’re not weak. I know that better than anyone else and apparently you right now. We experienced more than most normal humans could dream of, but none of us are normal anymore. So you can overcome it too.”

A weak laugh came from him listening to Saki lecturing him. She gave him a bit of a curious look why he suddenly started. “Just a little nostalgic I guess. Reminds me how things used to be before high school…”

“That was ages ago.”

“Twenty some odd years at this point. When we get back I’m not sure how I’m going to reconcile all of the memories with the present.”

“Some way, the same we always do.”

“You’re more confident than me.”

“Someone has to be. Focus on the now and keep that goal in your mind. It should help push the negativity out of you. Just like all of the training Lord Kaoin pounded into us. If you don’t have a clear head, you won’t be able to see your target.”

He nodded conceding the ground to Saki. It wasn’t an argument he was going to win. She was more disciplined than him, that much he started to realize. ‘Not sure when it happened that you became so different from the girl I remembered.’ Yuki knew her to be strong willed, remarkably so. It was rather envious.

“I think we steered away from the original topic.”

“Peace of mind and goodbye. I think I helped with that.”

A sigh came from him as she clearly wanted to end things. “Fine, be safe and return home quickly.” He didn’t really have much more that he could say to her he realized. She also made that bit fairly clear. An awkward wave to her ended his visit before he shuffled out of her room.

Only about half a hallway’s length from her room, he ran into Yumi. He wasn’t sure if she was there to see Saki off like him and stopped having heard them talking. It was a little odd to find her just outside rather than coming in. Unlike Aya, they were all friends and welcome so she shouldn’t have felt the need to give them space.

Yuki walked up to Yumi not ignoring her. He couldn’t be sure which she wanted. “Didn’t want to see her off with me?”

“I don’t know. I had started to go, but listening to you two talk I just didn’t feel like I should intrude.”

“Honestly, you being there might have stopped her from giving me a lecture. Either way, you can see her now if you want to.”

“No, she knows already. I’d probably just be annoying her when she was trying to finish her preparation.”

“You’re still friends. Besides, she probably feels more comfortable yelling at me because we’re double childhood friends now. If anything, she’s probably a little sick of me.”

Yumi reached out and took his hand, laying her hand over his softly. “No, I don’t think she’s sick of you. It’s like you said. She’s known you for so long she’s able to lower her guard around you more than others.”

“We have a complicated relationship, that’s true. Well I just…whatever her mission is, I hope that she stays safe. With a war, we’re going to need her help for a long time. I can’t do what she’s doing.”

“True, it’s something only she can do. I don’t know much about the region as it is now. Everything I’ve been studying is old stories and historical events. The current events inside the Komagata Clan are pretty unknown. We haven’t successfully been able to get data back from your spies on the place.”

“You’re not making me feel better about the mission.”

“Sorry. I was just trying to explain why Saki’s mission was so important.”

“I’m aware. I just need to not think too much about it.” Perhaps because he had been with her for so long that she had become used to her being nearby. Maybe that was the reason for why he was being so anxious. In all honesty, he should be worried just as well about her being a bodyguard. Every day they ran the potential risk of something happening to them.

Even though they faced death as a regular occurrence, he figured they were well trained for this and he supported her back in this situation. She went with no back up. Yuki wondered if he wanted to go with her, though he couldn’t do that. Not being suited to that sort of work and making it easier to get caught, she had to do it alone. “Thanks for visiting. I’ve probably been away too long from Aya.”

“Right. I should get back to work too.”

Leaving under the cover of night, Saki exited the city with ease. Before long the light of civilization disappeared behind her on the horizon. Only lit by moonlight, she walked towards the border. She passed by rice fields and some villages along the way. It was a day and half of travel and sleep before she reached the border of Matsushina’s territory.

Territory in this period was hotly disputed and patrolled, but not well enough that it was impossible to sneak through. She just waited until the cover of night to move. Entering enemy territory was trivial for her. The few soldiers were too far away to see her and their torch light made them easy to avoid. ‘Mission begins now…’