First Date Quickie

A shrill chime cut through the silence of a bedroom, barely illuminated by the first hints of daylight. Akio sprung from his bed, wiping the sleepiness from his eyes before smacking the morning alarm. He threw on some sweatpants and a shirt before kicking on shoes for a quick run around the block.

He flew down the single flight of stairs and whipped around the corner of his apartment complex, knowing that the chance of any collisions was nil on a Saturday morning at 6 am.

It was primetime for some roadwork done in peace. He had made it a habit ever since middle school, knowing that he needed fleet feet to escape from tricky situations. Trouble always seemed to follow him no matter where he went, so like a group of heroes accidentally running into a boss with potions empty, he knew to throw ability points into the escape command.

Early mornings on the weekend offered few chances of running into any random encounters. He had already developed a bad reputation at school. He didn’t need to ram into anyone and risk assault charges. Or worse, finding people with an itch to throw hands. He may have some skills, but they were meant as a last resort.

Plus, he could spread out his arms like an idiot to feel the passing breeze. A crowded street during the normal commute kept such feelings in check. He had already learned the lesson of keeping his limbs to himself after smashing a bike mirror. There were only so many close calls before he would wind up in Tokyo Bay with cinder blocks chained to his legs.

A mental image of Misaki crashing in to save the day interrupted his doom spiral. Forget thugs, he would need all the stamina he could build to deal with that girl. One hazard replacing another hardly meant he could relax, so the only way forward was to continue training.

“Whoop!”

Akio leapt over an open manhole, making sure he had extra clearance to avoid an isekai fate, as Kitsune put it. He slipped under a stray awning that was right at eye level and leapt to the right of a cat pouncing toward him. It wasn’t that he had memorized the pattern of disasters lying in wait. Due to terrible karma, he simply had ingrained a sense of speedy reaction to account for his poor luck.

Splash!

Of course, that meant he could hardly dodge everything. Coldness soaked his back and atop his head when he happened to miss an old lady tossing out water to clean her porch. Sometimes, no amount of defensive priming could make up for unpreparedness and circumstance. He started to wring out his shirt with a sigh.

“Here, have a handkerchief.”

“Thanks- wha!?”

Akio jumped and nearly tore his shirt right in half. Before him, Misaki was out of her normal school uniform, having traded her short skirt for a much longer one. She wore a loosely buttoned shirt covered by a Tokyo Giants jacket. Down her front, a long red tie hung down like it beckoned for someone to pull on it and invoke her wrath. She was the spitting image of a sukeban walking down the street.

Which was why it was strange for her to be leisurely handing him a handkerchief when she looked ready to grind someone into the dirt.

“Where the hell did you come from?!”

“I caught your scent in the wind and came running.”

Akio’s hand shrunk back from reaching for the handkerchief. The last thing he needed was to invite another strange behavior in the girl before him. Rather, he wiped the water on his face with the collar of his shirt. Discreetly, he tried to figure out if he stunk.

“I’m afraid to ask what I smell like.” Akio felt it was a losing question no matter what.

“Hesitation and carelessness.” Misaki smiled, a bit off-putting to him like she was watching a helpless child. “I’m joking. It’s that Irish Spring spray that you use.”

“I knew 7-eleven discounted items for a reason...” It was his own fault for being led on by Western commercial propaganda. At the time, ways to become more manly sold him far too well, due to his reserved nature. So when the convenience store had a huge sale on them, he bought an entire box. As a result, he smelled very ‘green’ for the next few months.

He didn’t even need to ask how Misaki knew he used it. She probably found the remaining half of a box tucked into the corner of his bathroom. It made it obvious to her like a homeless man trying to cover up stink for a job interview.

At least, the spray worked well at keeping rats and raccoons from raiding his trash. Not so well for curious girlfriends that doubled as bloodhounds.

“I’ll ask again. Why did you come looking for me?”

Little did Akio know, his innocent question came with an imposing reply. Misaki loomed over him, suddenly three meters tall as she dabbed the sweat on his brow with a fake smile. It was enough to chill all the moisture in an instant.

“You never asked me about plans for this weekend… so… I decided to see what you had going on. And possibly… who else was taking up your time.”

Her eerie tone and intentionally drawn-out pauses highlighted her intent all too well, like a jealous girlfriend prepping for a ‘nice boat’ scene. Misaki could certainly do it with a flick of the wrist, bringing forth the full powers of a yandere isekai protagonist – cheat powers unnecessary with what stats she already possessed.

“Hey now, I’ve known you for, like what, two weeks? And already, you’re hoping for the wine and dine? A man needs incentive to go that far!”

Shit. The nerves certainly were not helping him form a reasonable argument. Panic was like alcohol for the lips. It made them loose as a bad writer and his plot points. His butt cheeks clenched at the touch of Misaki’s hand near them as she stared him in the eyes.

“Oh really?”

Akio hated rhetorical questions.

“How about this for an incentive?”

Misaki dangled his apartment key before his eyes, snatching them back into her palm before dashing off. Akio cursed and sighed at the same time, unsure whether to be thankful it was only that.

He dashed after her, with no other choice if he wanted access to his own refuge. Surely, she didn’t want to go out on a date in their current attire. However, Misaki merely turned back with a carefree giggle as she teased him with jingling keys. She turned the corner toward the side streets that were full of everyday obstacles.

The extra round of roadwork didn’t bother him. He had plenty of stamina in the tank. If it was a challenge she issued, then it was far from him to turn it down. There were worse things than a simple chase down a narrow path.

A road cone flew right by his head, making him blink twice. Before he could brush it off, a traffic stick came at him like a javelin. Akio had to dive into an entryway to avoid it, before popping back onto the street in anger.

“What the hell?! Why are you throwing shit, you monkey!”

A welcome cat slammed into his chest, knocking the wind from him before bouncing off. He crumpled to the ground, gassed out. A pair of boots approached him.

“Oops, sorry. I have a habit of hurling things to slow down my pursuers. It felt natural to grab and throw. I forgot that you weren’t a filthy skirt chaser.”

Akio looked up at Misaki waving at him in apology, trying to play off her mistake innocently. He eyed several small vehicles and road signs that fortunately did not get flung his way.

“As if I would chase your skirt when you’re barely showing any leg-”

Misaki’s boot lifted Akio by the chin. It forced him into silence as she bent down and rolled the hem of her long skirt up. Little by little, his gaze traced up her smooth legs, strong enough to brace him, hands-free. She let out an alluring giggle as she stopped mid-thigh.

Suddenly, Akio felt himself propped higher and higher, forced to his feet lest his head snap back. He was drawn off to one side, before a flick of the boot sent him back into a brick wall.

Still holding the hem of her skirt up, she brandished her bare legs while walking seductively up to him. Damn, he was such a sucker for presentation.

“That’s right. You’re not a skirt chaser. Not when I come lifting it for you, Akio-kun.”

She dove forward, pinning him to the wall, looking down at him trapped. Misaki was right. He was far from being the predator of this relationship. He could only look up into her eyes as she bent down and took a kiss from him.

He already knew the feel of her body against him. Despite how crazy her actions were, he could hardly deny them. Going with the flow was the best way to deal with Misaki, letting her draw him toward places he wouldn’t have the courage to go otherwise. And as if he was trying to pull a bit of it into himself, he reached forward and stroked her sides.

Misaki broke off the kiss and pulled back with a giggle.

“Maybe you’re right. A standard date would hardly suit me. Just thinking about having a casual lunch, going to the movies and taking a trip to the amusement park seems so boring, don’t you think?”

Misaki was acting strangely coquettish, a more and more convincing act by the day. It made Akio forget all the trouble she caused him as the urges to be more forward brewed within.

“Our relationship started off quite physical, after all,” Misaki added. “Carnal even. Maybe it’s best to skip the formalities and get right to the fun stuff.”

Misaki kicked up her leg, planting a foot right by his ear. A foot kabedon. Her bare leg teased him even more.

“How about it? Shall we get a sweat going?”

She had his full attention as her foot slid down the brick. She smiled as his hand was now chained to hers.

Misaki pulled him along the street, in a rush to get somewhere. They turned a few corners as Akio wondered where she was taking him. His heart started pounding the moment gaudy signs of love hotels popped up in his vision.

Wait, no. Already?! Going in heat on a first date!

Akio’s face flared so red that there wasn’t enough blood going to where it should have gone instead. He shook his head, wondering just how it could have escalated so quickly. He didn’t need to look anymore. It would only drive more crude and inappropriate thoughts.

And he could feel it coming. He was bound to say something utterly stupid to ruin the mood. A mood in anticipation for what was far beyond his wildest dreams.

He gasped as Misaki finally stopped pulling him along, letting him bump softly into her. That was it. They were here.

“Get ready to bust some balls,” she said with a chuckle.

Bust my balls? Over where, into what?

Akio gritted his teeth but couldn’t open his eyes to face reality. His mind said ‘no, he couldn’t stick it in crazy,’ but the urges allowed him to be swept forward. He tried to come up with a hundred reasons to turn back and came up with a thousand instead. That still didn’t hold enough weight over his love of thighs. It was a maddeningly dumb choice like a last-minute vote change in front of the ballot box.

“Here, take this.”

A long, hard shaft was shoved into his hands.

A long, hard…

“What?”

Akio opened his eyes, seeing not a hotel room like he expected, but a home plate and a pitching machine across from him. He turned back to Misaki with a look of confusion and disappointment, which she ignored.

“Coming to the batting cages is the best way to work off some violent urges. Or would you rather we tear into each other in a fight?”