Empty Vigil

"The Anti-AI law made it illegal and punishable by imprisonment to be creating thinking machines, a machine with a will of its own. The law was vague and simple in the beginning, as many things usually are. It tried to cover everything leaving the courts to decide what was legal and not. But as the war continued to its final conclusion the public wanted more safety. And politicians desired more power from the fear that was created.”

Herbert Stein, Machine Historian - 

The city was beginning to warm itself up again as the evening was approaching and the sun was beginning to fall. There were only a couple hours left in the day before people would be leaving work. Satoru's thoughts continued to drift back to the image of the woman as he walked back to the building. If it did anything for him it made him forget the trip back. He was back in the office before he realized that he had left the rubble of the Kamihara Building.

The lights of the office along with the sudden distracting voice of Tadashi snapped him out of his thoughts once again. "So what do you think?" He wasn’t even sure if he had been standing in the office for a while the way that Tadashi acted.

It took him a moment trying to think through what might have happened. However, he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t remember, even if he happened to be in the office. "I've been gone for an hour, some context would be helpful."

"The machines, the bombing, everything," Tadashi said in a matter of fact voice. It was a topic that didn’t seem to end no matter how long it was discussed. Even when there was no bombing it came up often. He had been asked his opinion during the interview for his job as well. There was no simple answer he had for it. He hated speaking about it, no matter how relevant it might be.

"You already know Satoru's view on it," Natsuko said, stepping in the middle of the two of them. She had a worried expression on her face. As usual, she worried about Satoru. She always did try to look out for him, even though he was her boss. Though it hadn’t always been that way. They had been simple co-workers and friends on previous projects. He had been made head of the project this time, but it still didn’t detour Natsuko from being there for him.

Tadashi pushed Natsuko out of the way with his arm trying to keep it just a debate between the two of them. "It must be different now with what happened to him." He didn’t want interruptions, even though that was what he was causing right now. It had everyone in the room distracted. Tadashi never had much tact with anything and continued to be vocal whenever he was passionate about something. For him, it wasn’t even a matter of him being wrong. He just seemed to believe that if he was determined and knew himself to be right that was enough. It gave him an arrogance that was difficult to deal with at times.

Satoru hadn’t even made a move from his position, remaining staring at Tadashi. No one knew what he was going to do. It was difficult for them to know if he was angry with Tadashi for being fend up the subject with him or if he just didn’t seem to care. Satoru's face almost seemed to be one of disinterest, but it could have been simply a poker face. "Just let it go, Tadashi," Chiyoko said, stepping up to Satoru defense now.

Tadashi pushed Chiyoko back as well, turning to face her. It was impossible for him to be alone with the scene that he was making. "This is a serious question."

"But he's been through so much already," Natsuko said, returning to the other side of Tadashi, starting to corner him. The two women tried to place distance between Tadashi hoping it might calm things down. Though it was obvious that even if this moment could be averted it would only rise again eventually. With world events as they were now there was no way to avoid such talk.

Satoru stepped forward bringing himself a little closer to Tadashi to the surprise of everyone. It had been unclear until that point if he was going to do anything other than just stand pretending to look like he was going to do something. However, Satoru wasn’t going to leave them to stand up for him. It was something that had to be settled himself, eventually. "You're wondering what I think about machines, Tadashi?" Satoru said finally speaking, bringing the room quiet. No one knew what was going to happen next, but with Satoru addressing him they feared for the worst.

Now that he had been answered, Tadashi seemed pleased. He had been ignored up until now. Tadashi pushed through the women to face Satoru directly, looking at him face to face. Only a foot or more lay between them now. "Yeah, I have to know what side you're on." He made it clear that he wasn’t leaving without an answer this time.

"Side? Since when was this about sides?" Satoru paused, thinking about what he wanted to say next. It was a painful area that he was getting into now with this argument. He hated it deeply, but there were always sides. He knew that there was no way out of it. There was always someone to pick the opposition, someone that viewed things just a little bit differently that they became an enemy. "This shouldn't be about sides. We got attacked by machines, yes, but you remember that it's the men behind them that hate us. It's not the machines."

"I can't believe you're still siding with those AI lovers," He was already becoming angry just listening to Satoru speaking. He looked like he wanted to interrupt him just to stop him from speaking. "After you nearly died from that bombing. They are aware, they aren't listening to their programmers anymore."

Satoru wasn’t sure if Tadashi was actually concerned about him or just using it as another reason. He had little time to react feeling his own urge to defend his position quickly rising. There was little pause from Tadashi's last words. "You don't know that. They were programmed to hate. It's ingrained into them, even being aware."

"You don't think they can evolve then?" Tadashi's reply was quick and cut him down just as fast. Everyone in the room froze with uncertainty, their eyes on Satoru. Chiyoko and Natsuko looked at him concerned once again.

The words cut him deeply; it was a response that he had no defense against. It was simple and to the point that, one that he couldn’t refute for as long as he was a programmer himself. 'Of course they could evolve, it's in their programming. It's part of their awareness to change and adapt.' He knew that he had to concede the point as much as he didn’t believe it to be the case. But he couldn’t even summon words to speak towards Tadashi. He simply hung his head down looking at the floor.

"Tch, can't defend what you don't believe yourself." Tadashi whipped around once he was finished satisfied with victory. He walked away from Satoru leaving him alone while the others were still confused.

"Tadashi!" Natsuko said trying to come to Satoru's defense even if it was unwanted.

Satoru bit his lip trying to find anything that he could reply back to Tadashi. There was nothing that he could find to scale the wall placed before him. He knew it too well knowing that it wasn’t one that would come down. It almost seemed to be a callous copout. He resolved himself to say something, but it was all he could muster. "Get back to work, this is distracting us enough. We won't make the deadline."

Tadashi started to laugh from his turned back in the corner. "I see how it is. Very well." He sat down agreeing with Satoru having known that he won what he wanted. The others slowly began to disperse back to their seats with the excitement calming down.

Once everyone had found their seats, Satoru turned away, walking to his own. He sat down heavily feeling the ache of his body suddenly. He didn’t know what to say, but he had to say something to Tadashi. 'Maybe I…maybe I am wrong about it…but still…I want to…I want to believe that if they can change, that they could stop being killers.' It was difficult for him to avoid the subject. As the time passed along it was the only thing in his thoughts. He had his fingers resting on the keyboard staring blankly at the screen as though he was doing something. However, his mind was empty with only a single thought leaving his body unmoved.

Time disappeared for him until Kiyoshi's assistant broke him out of his statue position in the chair. She had been standing next to him for a few minutes hoping that he would notice her and turn to face her. But he could barely see out of his eyes then. When she decided that enough time had passed she spoke to him clearly, "Mr. Kuromura, Lt. Colonel Takamoto called and wants to meet with you."

"Him again…" Satoru said with an unmistakable sound of dread in his voice.

"Yes, he said that you didn't make the last meeting."

"More like he didn't make it. Not that I would have wanted to anyway. I wouldn't be speaking to you now if we had that meeting." He couldn’t believe that the man would go so far to blame their not meeting on him given the situation. Satoru's hands tightened into a fist as he could feel the stress in his body returning. That man always managed to get him angry without even trying. 'Here I go again, more unpleasantness for me. I'll have to get it over with sometime. The longer I wait the more angry he will become anyway.' Satoru tried to bring his focus back to the assistant. His body was still tensing from the thoughts that were continually going through him. "So when is it scheduled for then?"

"Tomorrow at 10am."

'Before lunch, should be in then.' This time he wouldn’t be missing the meeting. He had bad luck the first time, an understatement, but everything would go through now. Though there was a little hesitation in him with that thought. For him, knowing that it was going to happen assuredly would only increase his stress. "You can confirm it then. I'll be there."

Kiyoshi's assistant nodded her head to Satoru acknowledging him and writing down something on her electronic pad. After that she walked out of the office to leave Satoru to himself again. It was enough to break up his day, but he had stress filling in that empty void. All he could think of was dread now and not wanting to go to the meeting tomorrow.

Satoru tried to begin typing on this computer. He tried to get himself back to his work hoping for it to relieve him of his worries. There was no easy way in his mind. He looked for something else that could wrestle his thoughts free so that he could finish the day. Unfortunately, as days went there was little in it that he wanted to think about now. The debate that he had had plagued for a while now stress twisted his stomach. A gentle thought was required to ease him, but one that didn’t overwhelm him. There was nothing though, everything was too overpowering for him. He wasn’t in control anymore.

The woman that he had seen came to him again. Her image in his mind was a distraction that he didn’t want, but his stress was gone now. It pleased him even though he wanted to only relieve himself of his stress so that he could work. The antidote for his stress proved to be more potent than he could handle. The thoughts of the woman consumed him, as had his others before. He was returned back to where he had been with the same problem only in a more pleasing form.

She haunted his thoughts endlessly as he struggled to focus on his work. The brief moments that he had with her when he was rescued from death replayed through his mind. He felt calm and anxiety together creating new confusion. It forced him to his only other memory of her standing at that memorial. Either way, neither helped him to find focus, but more distraction. 'She won't go away. I can't stop thinking about her. I wonder how I'll find her. The city is so big and she could be anywhere. I don't even know where to begin to search.'

He tried to bring the thought to something at least partially productive for him. It was a matter of gratitude for him, even if he was deluding himself. The search for her would be difficult without any clues to go by. She could be anywhere in the city too far away for him to find. 'She was beautiful…I got to stop thinking about her. Work…work…the binary protocol…the protocol…she really was…no-no…no…need to focus.'

He remained unsuccessful in achieving anything productive in his day aside from wasting more time. It was his first day back so he allowed himself the time to slide a little and get back into his work. However, this couldn’t continue for him. He couldn’t allow it to control him, but he didn’t know how he was going to remedy his situation. Most of the issues that came up today for him would pass by quickly enough. It was the matter of the woman that he knew would linger until he found some resolution, internally or externally.

Satoru left the office glad to have the endless day over finally. He had left the train in the morning ready to start the day and yet he was walking towards it dreading what had become. When he arrived the train was waiting for him wanting to take him home to rest. As he stepped on the car his thoughts about the debate in the office came back to him. 'These trains have people now controlling them…'

'You don't think they can evolve then?' Tadashi's voice echoed through him.

'There was nothing wrong with the program running the train it couldn't evolve. It was simple, basic.' The train before had a primitive program controlling it, primitive by the standards of what thinking machines had become. It was all logic and precision. There was no subjective decision making done. If it sensed a person in the door it would remain open a moment longer, there was no choosing. 'But now it's a human controlling it. There was no need to blindly destroy all machines that did man's job.'

'I have to know what side you're on.'

'Sides, there's always sides. I can't escape it. Tadashi…you're so intelligent, but acting the same like the rest of the public…I just don't know. I wish this would just all end.' He didn’t believe that machines were meant for destroying mankind's way of life. They were to enhance and aid them. It was only because of men that the purity was lost. 'No one is right anymore.'

Satoru walked into his apartment attempting to leave his troubles at the door with his jacket that was dropped precariously from distraction. The problems however weren’t gone from him. As he took a sip from his glass that he filled his mind continued to turn. There was no end in sight for him with his evening ruined. It eventually brought him to the end of his disjointed night at the comforting surround of his bed.

He laid back, closing his eyes letting hopeful serenity wash over him in the empty darkness of his bedroom. It seemed to be working as nothing was coming to him. Time poured out as he drifted to sleep deeper until images began to replay to him once more. 'Its so clear now…I can see her pulling me to safety…the building crumbling and the flames…' The dream had become a nightmare with the heat of the flames burning at him throwing up him from his sheets in a cold sweat.

Satoru wiped his face with his moist palm and chest pounding heavily from the reality that it had brought him. He thought that he was back there again when it had happened, reliving it over again. Her image was becoming painfully linked to his dance with death. Once his breathing had returned to normal he laid back, closing his eyes once more. 'I need to sleep…I can't keep thinking about her…'