Chapter 6:

Lesson Plan From Hell

Baby Magic 101

For a moment, everything blurred. The bubbling voices of the children, the chalk dust whirling lazily through the air, giving outline to the magic flowing from Mutsuki, the faint hum of his own bubble barriers, all melted into a soft, distant haze.

Mutsuki wasn’t fully in the classroom anymore.

The edges of his vision softened, his breath shallow as his mind slipped somewhere far beyond the fluorescent lights and tiny desks. A place filled with bandmate fights, stadium roars and family shouts and—

A warm touch.

Two palms rested against his cheeks, gentle as the first brush of spring wind. A quiet voice followed.

‘Sensei… are you with us?’

Mutsuki blinked sharply. The world rushed back in: children, partially broken barriers, Kojiro dangling upside-down, Honey clinging to his leg, Sumire judging absolutely everything.

Youchan stood in front of him, her face too close and glowing softly in the dim underground light. Her touch was light but steady.

‘Welcome back,’ she whispered.

Mutsuki inhaled shakily. ‘Ah… sorry. Just… thinking.’

But her eyes told him she knew it wasn’t just “thinking.”

I’ll observe for now. Youchan made a mental note to check on Mutsuki privately after the class.

With a final, reassuring pat to his cheek, she turned away to lower Kojiro into his seat, her sleeves brushing the air like white wings.

And reality, chaotic, ridiculous, overwhelmingly loud reality, fully snapped into place.

Mutsuki exhaled slowly, running a hand through his ponytails as Youchan settled the children onto their chairs. Miraculously, the room looked semi-organized.

Eight children. Eight ticking magical bombs disguised as children. A teacher who’s not any better himself… Sigh…

He slumped against the teacher’s desk, clipboard hanging loosely in his hand.

‘You know,’ he said quietly, ‘I have no idea what I’m doing.’

Youchan blinked at him. ‘Hm?’

‘I mean, teaching,’ Mutsuki clarified, staring at the chaotic scrawl on Maria’s notes. ‘I can’t even control myself. And now I’m supposed to control… them?’

He gestured weakly toward the eight small faces watching him. Some innocent, some mischievous. He started drifting off again.

Youchan tapped his shoulder gently. The same tap that had steadied him moments ago.

‘At least try,’ she said softly. ‘Give it a while. Maria trusted you for a reason. That must count for something.’

Her quiet smile made the impossible feel… slightly survivable.

Then she drifted to the back of the classroom, pretending to sort books and toys while very obviously eavesdropping. Mutsuki sighed and sat on the edge of his desk instead of the chair. Eight pairs of eyes widened instantly.

‘Don’t,’ he said, pointing. ‘No one copy me. I’m a professional disaster. Stay in your seats.’

Several children froze mid-climb. One mid-shift. One mid-water-blast.

It took five entire minutes, two near-brawls, and one minor shapeshift into a teapot, but eventually, everyone was seated. Well, mostly.

‘Okay,’ Mutsuki began, forcing calm. ‘Let’s start easy. Tell me about yourselves. Name, family, likes, dislikes… anything.’

He pointed at Tanuki Mon.

Mon puffed his chest proudly, tanuki tail thumping. ‘Mon the Tanuki! Family of illusionists! Our hat pulls out anything. Once Dad pulled out a parade float! Mom yelled because it crushed the bonsai garden.’

Mutsuki blinked as if having a tic. ‘...A parade float. From a hat.’

‘Yup! Wanna see me try?’

‘NO. No more hat. I believe you.’

Mon beamed. Next was Kitsune Gon.

Gon flicked his fiery hair dramatically. ‘I’m Gon, future number one shapeshifter. I like tea, mischief, and Mutsuki-sensei.’

‘Already? You just met me.’

‘Love is fast, Sensei,’ Gon winked.

A talisman flew at Gon’s head from Mon’s direction. Mutsuki caught it midair with magic and pocketed it like confiscated contraband.

I solved yokai problems before but I don’t know if talismans pulled from that tanuki hat could actually harm others. Better be safe.

Then Kappa Sumire. She crossed her arms regally.

‘Sumire of the Sasuke Kappa clan. Princess of the southern pond. I dislike noise, mess, and lower life forms.’

‘That’s… everyone here,’ Mutsuki muttered.

‘Exactly.’

‘Wonderful.’

Next was Maneki Neko Meow. She raised her paw timidly, which made her look like an actual figurine of the luck cat. ‘I’m Meow. I bring bad luck. Sorry in adv—’

CRASH.

The chalkboard unmounted itself and collapsed behind Mutsuki.

Gon gasped dreamily. ‘Sensei made a shield spell instantly! Amazing!’

‘...Duly noted,’ Mutsuki sighed.

Tengu Kojiro didn’t even look up. ‘Kojiro. I was the crow watching you earlier. You hum off-key.’

‘EXCUSE ME?’

‘Off. Key.’

Mutsuki inhaled. Slowly. ‘Noted, bird boy.’

‘Also stop looking at Miss You with your perverted eyes.’

‘Excuse me?’ Mutsuki was taken aback. Youchan who was silently “organising” toys in the back suddenly dropped them.

‘You keep looking at her like she’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen.’ Kojiro responded curtly.

‘I couldn’t help looking at her Kojiro, we work together.’ Mutsuki explained. He got me. This kid is not just good in observing, he makes correct assumptions as well. Silent genius huh?

Werewolf Akashi snorted and leaned back. Obviously not interested in pretty girls or talks surrounding that. ‘I’m Akashi. I like food, naps, and being left alone.’

Nice save. Mutsuki made a mental note to give Akashi a pass for any misdemeanour later on.

‘Sounds like my ideal personality,’ Mutsuki said.

The only human (looking) child, Honey waved both arms. ‘I’m Honey! Mama says I’m super strong but I only use it for hugs!’

Mutsuki stared at his leg currently turning purple. ‘Noted…’ I have to find something he can safely unleash his strength on… before I become just a “sensei #2”

Then Oni Kishin.

‘K-K-Kishin,’ he sniffled. ‘I’m an Oni. I cry when I’m scared. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when—’

‘So always?’

‘Y-yeah.’

‘Okay. I’ll… invest in tissues.’

Despite it all, Mutsuki found himself smiling. These tiny disasters were… kind of endearing.

He thought they were cute, until—

‘What about you, Sensei?’

Instant silence. Even Youchan’s fake-sorting slowed. Mutsuki hesitated. His fingers tightened around the clipboard.

‘Me?’ he said softly. ‘I… didn’t want what my family wanted. They wanted me in politics, magic bureau… But I just wanted to make people happy.’ He looked down. ‘Then… a lot of magical accidents happened. Too many to be allowed to let go.’

His eyes dimmed.

Honey Bear slid off his seat and wrapped both arms around Mutsuki’s leg. Very tightly so.

He stared at nothing, somewhere distant.

Tanuki Mon whispered, ‘He’s dying.’

Kappa Sumire’s jaw dropped. ‘He looks dead.’

Kitsune Gon swatted his face with his tiny tails.

Youchan started to walk to Mutsuki but he managed to bring himself back to the present on his own. He rested a hand gently on Honey’s head.

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered. Then to the class: ‘Listen to your parents, okay? Don’t be like me.’

Even Gon didn’t joke. Even Akashi looked concerned. Even Kojiro stopped judging for a full three seconds.

Mutsuki turned away, pretending to read Maria’s notes.

Youchan watched him quietly, something soft in her gaze. Maria-sama… you saw something in him, didn’t you?

Mutsuki skimmed the list in front of him. He paused. Blinked. And blinked some more. His jaw dropped.

‘There’s no way five-to-seven-year-olds can do this!’

He flipped the page.

‘Teleportation drills? Dimensional awareness? ADVANCED mana control?! What is this? Boot camp for demolitions?!’

He dropped the syllabus onto the desk with a thud.

‘Maria… you’ve got to be kidding me!’

‘It’s part of Maria’s curriculum,’ Youchan said gently.

‘For five-year-olds?!’

‘Some are seven.’

‘Oh YES, that fixes… EVERYTHING!’ As Mutsuki laughed at himself, parts of the gothic lolita attire started coming undone. Not only was he losing sanity internally, it was also showing physically.

Tanuki Mon raised a paw. ‘We can do it, Sensei!’

Sumire sniffed. ‘I can, at least.’

Gon leaned forward. ‘Sensei, I’ll do whatever you want… as long as I can stand this close when doing it.’

‘Too close. Back up.’

Maneki Niki Meow, Honey Bear, Oni Kishin watched silently like tiny judges.

Youchan added, ‘The previous teacher attempted the list exactly as written.’

‘And?’

‘He’s still in the hospital.’

Mutsuki sat down. ‘Oh. I’m the sequel no one asked for.’

The kids giggled. Tengu Kojiro smirked behind his shiny black feathers. Werewolf Akashi couldn’t be bothered and started to silent draw something on table.

The chalkboard fell again. Mutsuki flicked a finger, reattaching it perfectly. The class gasped in awe.

‘What?’ he shrugged. ‘If I’m doomed, I want a straight board.’

Using magic, Mutsuki lifted a chalk. ‘Okay. We’re not doing Maria’s insanity. So, what do you want to learn?’ He looked at each child. The room erupted. Youchan’s voice was drowned out.

Mon: ‘Transformation battle!’

‘NO.’

Gon: ‘Then I’ll transform into you and sing!’

‘DOUBLE no!’

Sumire: ‘Etiquette. Diplomacy. And gourmet tea appreciation.’

‘...Fine.’

Meow: ‘A… luck-cleansing class? So I stop breaking things?’

Snap. The chalk broke.

‘Good idea.’ Mutsuki nodded.

Akashi: ‘Napping with eyes open.’

‘Noted.’

Honey: ‘Hugs! That don’t break people!’