First Steps

"Since the creation of the first program people have dreamed of machines that could think and act on their own. When fantasy became reality new ideas were created and new dreams. The idealists envisioned a world where man and machine stood as equals, the second race to walk the Earth. Others saw them as the salvation to a slowly dying race with capacities beyond humans to rescue the species from destruction. There were even those that saw them as the end of the world and humanity to be eventually enslaved by a superior creation. No matter the person or view machines were born with great hopes.”

Herbert Stein, Machine Historian - 

'What am I doing here? I should just go now…' Satoru was sitting in his chair with his eyes partly glazed over with difficulty focusing. His thoughts were split between the emotions that were building up in him and his rational mind trying to pull him out before he made a fool of himself. '…I can't…' However, he was already in the situation now and couldn’t very well leave, actually the thought was tempting. But he knew how it would look. This lunch was his idea to begin with, if he ran away from it he would embarrass the both of them.

It was her voice that finally snapped him out of his trance. "Uh…Mr. Kuromura…" She had been staring at him with a wrinkled forehead worried what was wrong with him. The visible mark of him being uncomfortable made him worry himself. He wasn’t sure what he was doing or how he was going to get through the day anymore. It had seemed like something so simple and it was developing quickly into something he wasn’t uncertain about.

'Why am I feeling like this? I've never had a problem like this before. What is going on with me?' Satoru pounded his mind trying to pull himself together for her sake at least. It might have been a while since he had been on a date, in the company of a woman, but he knew that he had better manners than this. He straightened his back and tried to wash away the strange expression that was painted across him. Satoru then cleared his vision to look at her. "Please, you can call me Satoru…Miss…"

It had just crossed him that he had never caught her name before. She had just been the Lt. Colonel's assistant until now. He had normally not introduced himself personally with the assistants that he met. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. I'm Asami Ichihana."

"Miss Ichihana-" Satoru said to be polite in finishing his previous sentence, but she cut him off quickly.

"Asami…" she said quickly looking a little uncertain. She pulled herself out of the moment by straightening her blouse and smoothing out her dress. The concern that had been inside Satoru was becoming apparent through Asami as well. There was a small comfort in that fact for Satoru, but he couldn’t relish in it.

"Asami…I-uh…" For him to say her name had forced it to become more intimate than before. They were on a first name basis, the thought made Satoru's throat constrict on him. He pulled his stares away from her realizing that he was nearly stammering without a voice. 'Pull it together…can't just gawk at her…' Satoru turned himself to try to mentally readjust himself in the same manner that Asami had done.

The silence between them began to hang in the air thicker the longer that time passed. Neither of them seemed to have an idea of what to say feeling that they had become stuck on a greeting. Asami wrestled between her fingers, not certain where she should start a conversation and uncertain why she was having lunch. Satoru sat trying not to have his legs shake the table apart while he waited for his mind to agree with his emotions. It was neither of them that broke the air, but the waitress who arrived with her smile that cut through the tension. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh, green tea," Satoru said, grateful to have something to say that he didn’t have to stutter on. He had been thankful to the waitress for her excellent timing. The tension had built to a point that he thought that he was sweating. They were outside in the summer, but it was not the same feeling.

"Green tea…" Asami said quietly with a returning smile across her face. The waitress left soon afterwards with the order. Asami had recovered her voice as well, having found something to start with that wouldn’t make her feel embarrassed. "So you are feeling better?" It was an honest question that had her curious for a while. She knew that he was alive still, but that was where it ended.

"Hmm?" Satoru was feeling a little absentminded with the sudden strange question given to him in the midst of the waitress. "Oh, yeah much more now. I was in the hospital for a week." He felt a little stupid for not immediately putting together the pieces. However, he was just happy to have a conversation going that didn’t end after a couple words.

Asami raised her arms up with relieved concern. "I'm so thankful it wasn't worse."

"I can't thank you enough for what you did," Satoru said, having the repeated feeling to continually thank her. It didn’t feel old to him, as he was honestly glad to be alive still. But he changed the topic to her wondering about something of his own. "You weren't hurt in the explosion?"

"No," she said, shaking her head softly, "I was across the street when it happened."

"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but why did you choose me over everyone else?" Satoru tried to cut himself off, not knowing where he should have stopped his curiosity. The question was out now though and he couldn’t take it back as much as he wanted. 'I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I say that?'

Asami leaned back in her chair a little surprised by the question. 'What should I say?' She tried to picture the day when it happened, but it was a little foggy in her mind. The moment barely seemed to have a thought with the action; she could only feel emotions at the time. There had been no control, just instinct, but that was complicated to explain in words. "I…it's difficult for me to say. I-I just wanted to…" She dropped her head a little, feeling the lack of an answer and trying to apologize for it.

"Oh…" Satoru didn’t know what else he should say to her. It was something that he shouldn’t have asked and just should be glad to be alive. The answer was not what he was looking for, but it seemed better that way to him in a strange way.

"I'm sorry," she said, apologizing verbally now, "I don't have a better explanation." Asami hung her head down further wishing that she had a better answer for him. She had saved him; it seemed only right that she gave him an answer, yet all she could give was half a reply that was more cryptic than helpful.

Satoru wanted to jump up from his chair to lift her head back up. He didn’t want to cause her to beat herself up for his own stupid question. "No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything." It wasn’t much, but he hoped it was enough to try to pull him out of the hole he placed himself in.

Asami looked back up at him feeling a little relieved that he wasn’t disappointed by the answer. Though she still felt that she wanted to give him a better response, even if it was still just as cryptic. "It was a strange feeling…I just felt like I should do something." She pulled herself back after she had leaned forward to emphasize her words. 'It's not much, but it's better than nothing.'

"Thank you again," he said, being as sincere as possible as well as encouraging her not to feel bad about the lack of a useful answer.

"Your tea…" the waitress said without so much as a word to announce her arrival. Though neither of them was sure if she had actually made herself known with them distracted.

"Thanks." Satoru waited for the waitress to leave again before he started to sip his tea. They both took a pause from talking, feeling out the air again as they looked across the cups into the other's eyes. 'I need something to talk about…anything…' He became a little frantic for a new topic, feeling obligated to start it back up since Asami had the last time. "So you're the Lt. Colonel's assistant now?" It seemed like a safe territory, but he felt awkward all the same asking her.

"Oh, no. Actually I'm just a temp. I work for a temp service and the Lt. Colonel requested someone. I'm only working there until they find someone else permanent or I'm not needed any longer." That was an easy question for her. She was relieved to have something easier to talk about. It felt a little forced to her though, but she tried to make it feel more natural.

"I see," Satoru said, pausing for a moment to think. 'So not part of the military.' Her not being a part of the military made it easier for him. Though he hadn’t cared too much about the outcome of the answer it did make him feel better. It was an important question as his co-workers had pointed out. His co-workers being right about him was difficult to swallow.

"And what do you do?" Asami had an idea of what he did since he had visited the office, but it remained unclear to her. 'He must be part of the military, like a scientist or something.'

"I'm a software engineer in artificial intelligence," he said, trying to remember what to say so that it came out correctly without being too confusing or misleading. Even being careful though, his line of work made people get the wrong impression of him. He had even been called an evil creator of machines once, as though he was a god or some such thing, which still left him a little dumbfounded.

"That's illegal though isn't it?"

He knew it was coming, there was always an explanation needed with what he did. Most people were just too quick to judge and not listen past his title. She seemed to be more interested than fearful of him. "Well the work that our company does is within the bounds of the law, so I'd hardly call it true artificial intelligence since we have to dumb down the program so much. But it is still programming the processing protocols and commands…oh I'm terribly sorry it must sound so confusing." Satoru began to run his fingers through his hair trying to distract himself a little from the feeling that was growing in him again.

"I don't mind. I didn't know that there were still people doing things like that. It must be dangerous."

"Dangerous? Why do you say that?"

"All of the people that are against it these days." She was correct in her assessment of his position. All the explaining in the world didn’t help against someone that wouldn’t see reason. He had dealt with that type of person frequently and it never got easier for him. They usually came at him with the same lines he had a thousand times before. In normal company, he could rip them apart without trying, but even when he spoke to them their minds were closed.

Satoru leaned back in his chair a little trying not to think about all of the troubles that were happening. The images of the explosions were cracking through his mind again. He spoke up quickly trying to beat it before it finished pushing it back. "Well I'm usually careful in talking about what I do. It's misunderstood…"

"I'm sorry," Asami said, apologizing again for bringing up a sore subject for him. It was unusual that someone's job would be difficult to talk about while being so public. "I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's alright." Satoru tried to stop her quickly. He could see that it was upsetting her. He knew that he had to say something quickly before it settled in her. "I don't know…I feel comfortable telling you." The words made him pause afterward to think. 'What am I saying?' He couldn’t believe that he had just said it, even if it was more or less truthful. There was the strange feeling that he couldn’t help but agree with what he said knowing that she was different from the others he talked to about this. She seemed open still about the subject unlike so many people.

"I…uh…" Their lunch continued with the same rocky stops and starts that it began with, but in the end they seemed more comfortable than before. Satoru was even able to make a couple jokes that made Asami laugh. They slowly went their meal not even remembering the time and just letting it go until there seemed to be a natural end. Both of them were smiling with lighter spirits than they had entered the restaurant.

"Thank you for the lunch…Satoru," Asami said, his name feeling a little easier to say than before. She still had the warm smile across her face as they started to end lunch.

"Again, thank you for saving me."

"Knowing you're alive is thanks enough."

They both stood up collecting their things starting to go their separate ways. Satoru spoke up, taking the opportunity to continue their talking. "In that case, as my last thanks, may I walk back with you?" Asami walked out of the fenced area of the restaurant standing on the sidewalk looking back at Satoru, who waited for an answer.

"Alright," she said, turning away with a smile. Satoru rushed up to follow next to her, not missing the chance. The two passed down the street quietly talking to each other. It had become much easier to speak by the end that Satoru wasn’t even nervous around her.

When they turned the corner, shouts from across the street outside a building interrupted them. There was a mob of people gathered together protesting the machines and the policies of the government for not doing anything about the bombing. It caught their gaze for a moment until they passed on. Asami was drawn back to what Satoru did for a living, realizing that the protesting was hard for him to watch. "It must be difficult for you."

Satoru looked over at the protesting once more, knowing what she was talking about. "I try not to think about it too much." It was still rough for him to listen, but it was nothing that he hadn’t heard before. The public would continue to act in an ignorant manner about the machines because they didn’t know the truth and didn’t care enough to listen.

"Even after everything that happened? You're still doing what you do." She wasn’t sure if it was determination or just that he was doing what he always had, but there was something admirable about it. He didn’t give into the pressure of what was going on in the world. In spite of it all, he continued to do what he enjoyed.

"It is hard at times, but I don't believe machines are against us. I want to believe that they would want to live together with us. I'll keep believing that."

"I think you're right…" The answer became apparent to her now. There were so few people in the world that still believed as Satoru. She was surprised that someone could still believe so completely with everything that happened, especially nearly dying from a result of machines. Her words had seemed so simple next to his impassioned belief.

It wasn’t long before they were at the steps of the Benihoshi Building. This was where Satoru had to part ways with her, possibly forever. He didn’t know what the future had for him, but he hoped that she was going to be in it again. "Well thanks-" His words were immediately cut off by a powerful quaking at the ground followed quickly by an explosion.