Beware of the Marioz and Dandy Dan

Halloween night... Nothing screams Halloween more... than razor blades... In this town, there are creatures in the woods known as the Marioz. Their bodies are a pitch black, save for their heads which are white and have drawn-on hemohemomoheji faces with mustaches. These creatures... like to shave. Like to shave... YOUR HEAD AND EYEBROWS!

"Alright, I think that's enough with the ghost stories," Mami Kasen groaned.

"No, you don't get it. If you venture out into the woods on Halloween night, the Marioz'll get ya, and shave ya bald. Wax ya, depilatory cream ya, laser ya, and then... oil ya before encasing your smooth new do in candied syrup leaving you in a smooth moaning state... FOREVER!" a blonde-haired girl in sweats and sneakers dramatically cried.

"And then what?"

"Um... you're bald... and browless... lashless too I think?"

"And is that the worst?"

"No, no way! You'll be stuck as a caramelized statue, unable to move, and only able to moan since your mouth would be sealed too."

"Noted," Mami scoffed as she opened the door and slammed it behind her.

No sooner did she do so did a bloodcurdling scream ring out.

Rather than run out to help, the blonde-haired girl, whom we'll just call Blond, ran up to the upstairs room and dialed the police as she cautiously peered out the window.

"A scream? Ugh, gonna need more details than-"

"IT'S THE MARIOZ! THEY GOT MAMI!"

"They got mommy? Ugh, do you know your location?"

Blond nodded and gave her location. Within minutes, police had swarmed the house.

"We didn't see anyone in peril on our way over," an officer stated.

"Then... you'll have to explore the woods."

"How dangerous are these "Marioz"?"

Blond took a good look at the officer. "Hmm, not exactly the femboy or santa-type. should be fine."

"What do you mean?"

"The Marioz are creatures that once they catch a woman, they'll shave her bald and candy her for all eternity. I've heard they don't really attack guys though, but if you fall into the femboy camp or santa camp... they might strip and shave you bald just for humiliation's sake. Otherwise, they'll just kill you if you're trying to stop them."

"Um, that sounds dangerous."

"Just swoop in before they pour the caramel candy on her. I don't think they'll fight you too much if she's already hairless."

"Um... sure."

The officers all marched over to the woods, guns drawn. After some trekking, there they found a smooth shiny and hairless Mami cloaked in an orange cape. To one side of her was fucking Dandy Dan and on the other... a Marioz.

"NO! WE WERE TOO LATE!" Blond cried.

Dandy Dan slowly turned her way and began to tap dance. "Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan,Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan,Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan,Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan, " he mumbled.

"Oh no! he's doing the dance!" Blond cried as the Marioz began doing a spooky scary dance too. 

"What do we do about these two?" an officer asked. 

"Um, save Mami I guess, or retrieve her. She's clearly bald and just looking at how shiny she is, it's clear they candied her head."

"So then she's-"

"Alive, but she'll be unable to move, speak, or grow hair again. She's pretty much a living statue at this point."

Mami responded with a dejected muffled moan. 

"See, just like she says."

"As if. This shit will wear off by tomorrow," Dandy Dan snarled.

"Wait, what the fuck, YOU CAN SPEAK NORMALLY!?"

"Want me to Dandy Dan Dandy Dan Dan Dan your anpan man? No fucking shit I can talk normally! People only think I'm a fucking Hokemon cuz of that shitty French movie!"

"Then the Marioz..."

Uh, just me.

"Who?"

You'll see tomorrow on Kisha's show.

And with that, the duo vanished leaving Mami there.

"I guess... we'll have her examined," an officer sighed. 

...

The next morning, Mami was able to move again, but she was still bald.

"Ah, I warned you, Blond cried.

"About what? I'm not bald," Mami smirked as she yanked off her bald cap and SFX makeup, revealing her hair and eyebrows to be just fine. "My eyelashes did have to go, but to prank you, it was worth it."

"You... pranked me!?"

"Trick or treat, the razor's blade, and you got tricked."

Blond stared dumbfounded as the TV suddenly turned on.

"Welcome back to the interview! Kisha Shinbun here, and today, ole Mario's back for another interview."

Hello.

Blond gave the TV a look of disgust before retreating out of the room and returning with hair clippers, a razor, and some shaving cream. In just under 10 minutes, Blond was bald.

"Fuck you," she snarled as she threw the can of shaving cream at the TV, shattering it.

"Guess the prank went a little too far," Mami nervously laughed.

[End]