Haunting Memories

"It was not long before psychologists were being trained to diagnose ill machines that suffered from remarkably similar human mental disorders. Machines were becoming more human than people thought possible. There was talk of whether to consider machines as equal life forms.”

Herbert Stein, Machine Historian - 

Satoru reluctantly walked back to his apartment with Asami. They eventually made it through a couple train rides. She had stayed close to him watching on the train even though there were few words spoken between them. He had to be careful of what he did as every strange motion made her increase in worry. It left him stiff as a board by the time that he reached the door and looking strange in a completely different fashion. Satoru was exhausted by the ordeal and simply wanted to rest now.

'What can I say to her? She does seem honestly concerned. But still this doesn't feel right. It's not like I planned it though.' The door was staring back at them now with the two waiting outside acting like someone was going to open it from the inside and invite them in for dinner. Satoru released his body trying to relax a little. "Um…here it is."

They stared at each other further with Satoru hesitating and Asami looking confused and worried at the same time. She moved closer to him again making him feel nervous suddenly. "Need me to open it for you?"

He backed away from her waving his arms around trying to correct himself. "Uh-n-no-no. I can get it." Satoru exhaled his breath before opening the door slowly. Once it opened he placed himself in the middle of the entry. 'How long has it been since I had a woman in my place? I can't do this.' He tried to wake himself up and focus on getting Asami to leave. He didn’t want to be rude, but it was just not something he wanted to deal with now. "I-I…well…"

"Are you feeling ill?" She looked a little ignorant of the situation, blinded by concern for Satoru. She stepped forward again, uncertain what was wrong with him. "Maybe I should come in…"

"No!" Satoru said having to catch himself before he shouted out of fright. He paused for a moment to breathe before continuing. "I-I mean, I'm alright. You don't have to worry. I'm feeling much better now, thanks." He ended with a smile to try to reassure her that he did not need her to stay around anymore. It felt false to him, but he hoped that it was enough.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…"

"Well alright. I'll be going then," Asami said, pulling away from the doorway preparing to leave. "Thank you for lunch."

"Thanks…" It felt like it was hours before she left, but she finally departed his hallway and building. Satoru was able to breathe again with all of his blood returning to normal from the tension that had been building. He was going to need a shower just to clean all the sweat off him. 'That was close. I don't think I'm ready for this…'

After he was finished in the shower he walked back to his bedroom to lie down. It was a long day for many reasons, too many for him to deal with now. Sleep seemed like the best thing for him to forget and move along with what happened. "What am I going to do?" As he rested his head against the pillow the faint sounds of the explosion echoed through his mind. 'It happened again…they attacked. This won't end. They keep going.'

The images of the building falling apart and the flames that enveloped it rolled back into his thoughts. 'The fire, just like before…all over again…again…' The flames grew larger blowing towards him. It came to swallow him completely until there was nothing, but the burning heat against his skin and the screams of people dying crying out to him. '…no-no get out of my mind…go away! G-go…away…' Satoru grabbed his head in his hands rolling to his side on the bed trying to rip out everything.

In spite of the haunting images Satoru fell asleep quickly, but not peacefully. He was barely free of the memories that constantly surrounded him during the night. Worse yet, for him waking up was no longer an escape for him anymore. Hours passed and morning rose finally shattering the bindings on his eyes that held him in the twilight of his mind. "Morning already? Did I sleep all night? Ugh…that dream, no nightmare. Why can't I shake it?"

Another shower later, he walked out into the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. Not even the shower had broken the sluggish feeling that he had in his body. The night hadn’t been kind to him, but it was more to blame on his mind. "News," he said towards the monitor.

The monitor revealed itself from the wall quickly adjusting to the channel requested. On the screen was a woman with the remains of the building that he had seen yesterday behind her. "…the fires are still burning here at what was once part of the city's skyline. Now all that remains is twisted metal and concrete with smoke rising above the city. It is a constant reminder to everyone that this is real and the threat that the machines represent."

Satoru was barely able to swallow his food listening to what was on the news. He didn’t hesitate in turning it off to remove the subject from his mind. "Off."

"Thousands are…"

Even with it gone he wasn’t free from his own horrific memories of the event. They would follow him unceasingly in their pursuit. "Doesn't end…how many people have to die…" Satoru quickly made it through his breakfast distracted by his thoughts not thinking to take his time. "…there is nothing I can do…"

Now that his breakfast was finished there didn’t seem like a reason for him to stay around any further. So he walked out of his apartment finishing with the last details before locking the door. While on the train ride into work he could see smoke still rising from where the building had been. 'The smoke…it was like that before wasn't it? But it was gone when I was awake…' He slipped into an absentminded state fighting to keep himself awake and stave off the ill dreams that crept around.

Satoru walked into the company building feeling like death walking at that point. The receptionist had greeted him, but he was hardly conscious at the time to realize it. His feet on autopilot he ended in his room where he gave a weak greeting. "Morning…" It didn’t seem to matter the low tone that he spoke in as it pulled everyone away from what they were doing without hesitation.

"Hey, boss!" That was how the greeting went from many of them who were quickly surrounding him like a pack of hungry wolves looking at their meal.

"Satoru! Hey buddy!" Kazuhiko said, breaking the line to grab Satoru by the neck in a very congratulatory manner. "You're back!"

"Buddy?" Satoru looked at him suspiciously, not sure why he was acting so friendly this early in the morning. Kazuhiko was always a friendly person, but there was a clear deep seeded motive to his actions. He decided to play it a little cautious and inquire (though he felt like he was going to be regretting it soon). "Yeah, I'm back. I wasn't gone. I do still work here…"

"I guess you were so busy having a great time that you didn't realize the time."

"The time? Oh crap!" It was at that moment that it hit him squarely in the head what everyone was looking at him about, or so he thought. "I didn't come back yesterday." Satoru began to look around, becoming worried by the expressions that he was seeing across their faces. He was no longer certain that he understood what they were thinking.

"Heh…look at you. Our boss finally got some action," Kazuhiko said, patting Satoru heavily on the back. It didn’t take him much longer than hearing the sentence to know what Kazuhiko was thinking in his perverted mind. Though Satoru couldn’t disagree with the fact that it went through his mind as well. "Good going!"

"Knock it off, Kazuhiko, it's embarrassing listening to you," Chiyoko said, attempting to disarm Kazuhiko from Satoru who was beaming with pride for his boss.

"Hey! Just calling it as I see it."

"Well go see some algorithms instead," Chiyoko said quickly, having finally removed him from Satoru's neck. She tried to push him through the mob around them, but found that it proved difficult.

Satoru could still hear Kazuhiko's faint voice muffled in the crowd, continuing in spite of being dragged out. "But he didn't come back, you want to know the details as well don't you. That's why you're pushing me off. You're trying to get it all for yourself first."

"How dare you!" Chiyoko released Kazuhiko that moment, placing her hands at her hips and narrowing her eyes at him. The glare was enough to make Kazuhiko crawl away if it wasn’t for the trap he was in.

"Kazuhiko, leave him alone," Natsuko said, stepping up from the crowd to join in the intimidation. Satoru almost seemed secondary at the immediate moment with Kazuhiko drawing all the attention, as usual.

"Now you're ganging up on me. Hey, Tadashi!" Kazuhiko tried again to press through the crowd to free himself from the menacing advances of the women. His hope Tadashi would help him failed brightly as he turned away from Kazuhiko.

"Leave me out of this, this is your problem. I'll catch it one way or another from one of you anyway." Tadashi hadn’t even bothered to look at him while he was talking, pretending he was still working at his computer.

"Traitor!"

"Whatever…"

"Let me go!" Kazuhiko said as Chiyoko had finally managed to get him out of the circle around Satoru. The two struggled further for unknown reasons now as Natsuko remembered that Satoru was the one that needed attention.

"How are you, Satoru?" Natsuko said, letting him sit down in his chair. She knelt down on the floor looking up at him almost like he was a child, but Satoru was too distracted by his thoughts to be offended.

"I'm fine, just a little exhausted."

"Did something happen?" There was the hint in her voice that she was asking about the date rather than an open ended question. It was enough though to fully wake up Satoru from his dazed state that he had been in since he arrived.

"Natsuko?!" he said, responding to her in surprise that she would be so bold.

"I didn't mean that!" Natsuko waved her arms trying to cut off the mistaken inference from her words. She quickly tried to cover over her tracks, but it was uncertain which she was originally aiming for. "You just look down."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Satoru looked down at his feet, feeling the images returning to him again. He couldn’t go a minute without thinking about it and allowing the door to open. There was no moment that he could speak about it without being tied to unbearable terrors. "Just a long day yesterday."

"Did your lunch go well?" Natsuko tried to start small from a familiar point before working on the critical matter.

Kazuhiko burst up against the group hearing the conversation continuing without him. Chiyoko was still pulling at him to give Satoru the room that he needed. "Hey, you're getting all of the gossip!"

"This isn't about you!" Chiyoko snapped at him and yanked him in a chair to be met in the end by her icy glare that was telling him 'Don't move or I'll kill you.' Kazuhiko didn’t need another word to know that he was going to have to be quiet.

"Satoru?" Natsuko continued not wanting to let it settle for too long on Satoru.

There was a long pause from Satoru while he tried to collect himself again. Every break was another chance for him to become lost. He worried how long it would last or if he would ever find his way out from the labyrinth. When he was ready to speak again he looked up at Natsuko, feeling her eyes on him, though not like she was judging him. "Oh, the lunch was fine. Went pretty well, I guess."

"Then what is it?"

"That bombing…"