Chapter 4 Despite being infallible, the loop broke

The life of a NEET, if you boil it down to its essence, is a loop.

Wake up. Eat. Internet. Sleep.

What can I say? It's a beautiful loop.

And today is Monday. The best day. Statistically, the day with the least chance of unexpected visitors everybody is busy, me included.

My room is at its optimal point of controlled entropy. The temperature: exactly 72°F. The lighting: just the glow of the screen reflecting off the walls.

I leave Discord open for a while, a little over 20 minutes pass and: XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing.

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Hey, wanna hear about my perfect life?”

Shon: “You don't have a perfect life. Nobody does.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Shut up. My life IS perfect. I wake up when I want, eat what I want, nobody bothers me. Living alone, working online, WORKING—does that ring a bell? Ha ha ha, sorry, I scared you.”

Shon: “Typical of PIGGY, if you didn't mention it every week, it would even be funny.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Don't call me PIGGY, you damn slug, you rotten NEET.”

Shon: “You're a NEET too, and before you say it, yes, a paid one, but still a NEET.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “You're becoming good at this, but irrelevant. What do you think of my perfect life?”

Shon: “Well, your perfect life sounds more like, well, isolation.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “What's the difference?”

Shon: “None.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Exactly! Someone understands me. It sucks that you understand me so well, by the way <3. My family thinks I'm ‘wasting my youth,’ but I much prefer watching anime to socializing in a party.”

Shon: “I don't think anyone wants to talk to Piggy at a party, but don't worry, we can discuss anime as much as you want. I feel just as disgusted as you do that you understand me so well, by the way too.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Thanks <3”

Huh? What a strange reaction, because...

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Hey! Son of a... damn disgusting NEET, I didn't read the whole message because it's lying on the bed and I couldn't see the complete message with the reflection of the sun, damn slug!!! For your information, people would talk to me because---”

Hey, it's late, but this is something I would expect. It seems like the loop is extending a little longer.

But before I could answer him, or rather, continue reading his incredibly long replies, the door opens without being touched. Akari. She brings her laptop, her junior CEO expression, and something worse: determination.

“Nii-san, we need to talk.”

A brief silence fills the room, Shon's frightened and confused expression that can be read as, why did you come in without my permission? or what are you doing here? transforms into a logical reduction of Shon that boils down to a universal and instinctive response that he is grateful for every day.

“No.” My favorite sentence, the one for which I am grateful every day, Shon thinks.

“I didn't say what it was about.”

Shon looks at Akari, who stands defiantly in front of him, and out of nowhere Miki appears behind her, carrying... cardboard signs?

“No?” says a confused Shon, “What is this?”

“It's a proposal,” says Miki, holding up the first sign.

POSTER 1: “REASONS WHY NII-SAN SHOULD HELP US”

“I pass.”

“You haven't seen the reasons,” Akari protests.

“I don't need to. When I saw the cardboard, they lost any chance of reasoning.”

“A” Both sisters look at each other, knowing that Shon's no is final. They knew it wouldn't be that easy, but they're not novices. They come from a fierce world. This is nothing.

Miki quickly raises the second poster.

POSTER 2: “YOU WILL BE PAID 2 MILLION YEN PER MONTH”

What? I pause. My brain does involuntary math. Wait, what? “For doing what exactly?”

“Existing,” says Akari.

“...I already do that for free.”

“Exist... professionally?” Miki tries.

“...”

Shon's face, giving a look that said, “Don't even you know?” made Miki immediately discard this cardboard.

POSTER 3: “ONLY 2 DAYS A WEEK”

“Doing WHAT?”

The sisters look at each other. Telepathic communication between sisters.

“Talking,” Akari finally says.

“Talking? About what?”

“Things,” Miki says.

“What things?”

“Things... about men,” Akari says, clearly improvising.

“...”

"Nothing, eh? he's good", they thought, he'd be a monster in business. NEXT

POSTER 4: “THAT'S EXACTLY WHY”

“That poster doesn't make sense,” says Shon, now worried.

“You don't make sense,” Akari mutters, frustrated.

“Exactly, none of this makes sense in general. What's going on? Why do they want me?”

Miki sighs. “It's complicated.”

“So complicated you can't explain it?”

“Yes,” they both say in unison.

Suspicious.

“Is it illegal?”

“No.”

“Immoral?”

“Not for you,” says Akari.

“You think I have no sense of morality?”

“...”

“Next,” says Miki cheerfully and quickly.

“Hey,” says Shon, looking more hurt.

POSTER 5 (and the one we didn't want to get to (written in small letters)): “IT INVOLVES TALKING TO RICH IDIOTS.”

Shon stood there reading the title in silence, but his curiosity got the better of him and he made the first mistake of the passerby: he asked.

“Talk to rich idiots? What?”

“You don't have to understand it,” says Akari.

“You just have to talk to them,” says Miki, somewhat embarrassed.

“Just,” says Akari.

“You have to,” says Miki.

“Tell them anything,” they both say together. “Just... be yourself.”

“...” Shon thought before speaking, but replied with a somber and direct

“Being myself scares people away.”

“THAT'S THE POINT,” they both shout, then cover their mouths.

“...”

“...”

“Wait, do you want me to scare away rich people?”

“No... not exactly,” says Miki.

“More like... to filter,” Akari tries.

“Filter what?”

“People.”

“What kind of people?”

“Men.”

“What kind of men?”

“Suitors.”

“Whose suitors?”

Silence. More telepathic communication.

“The bosses',” Miki finally admits.

Wait.

My brain is starting to connect dots I didn't want to connect. Akari is vice president, basically the CEO's right-hand woman. Miki is the star designer, her boss's favorite. They don't have multiple superiors. They have ONE. Each.

The CEOs.

The titans of industry they speak of with religious reverence.

In my head, I always imagined these women as 45-50-year-old ladies. Power suits, strategically gray hair, banker husbands, kids at elite universities. The kind of women who appear in business magazines alongside articles on “work-life balance.”

But if that were the case, why would they seek my help? Huh?

“Wait,” I say slowly. “Do CEOs have problems with suitors? Aren't they married?”

Akari and Miki look at each other.

“No,” says Akari.

“Divorced, then? Is that why the suitors?”

“No...” says Miki.

“Young widows?” I try, my mental image resisting change.

“Nii-san,” Akari sighs. “Reina-san is 24 years old.”

"What?!" ERROR 404, Shon.exe stop working

“Haruka-san too. 24.”

“...”

“Your age,” Akari adds unnecessarily.

My age.

Something small and cold settles in my chest. It's not exactly envy. It's more like... existential vertigo. The feeling of jumping and seeing how far you've fallen while others come your way, hoping that someone will match or surpass you in depth.

“Are you telling me,” my voice sounds strange, “that two women MY AGE, CEOs, successful, millionaires, need ME, a 24-year-old NEET with no social skills, to help them with their romantic problems?”

“It's not romantic,” Akari quickly corrects. “It's... anti-romantic.”

But my brain keeps processing. 24 years old. My age. CEOs. My age. Millionaires. My age.

Me: 24 years old, living with my sisters, eating free spaghetti, my biggest achievement this week was winning an argument about the futility of human effort.

Them: 24 years old, running companies, probably owning multiple properties, their biggest problem is having too many suitors.

“Do you want me to be a human repellent for women my age who are clearly better, no, infinitely better than me in every possible physical, mental, and spiritual aspect?”

“Yes, but the term isn't ‘human repellent,’” says Miki.

“It's ‘social deterrence consultant,’” says Akari, reading from a card with the number 6 on it, which she clearly wasn't going to show.

“That's literally being a human repellent with fancy words.”

“So?” Akari crosses her arms. “Isn't it perfect? You get paid to do what you do for free: make people uncomfortable.”

She has a point. Damn it.

“Why me specifically? They could hire actors, bodyguards, whatever.”

“Because you're...” Miki searches for the word.

“Authentically unpleasant,” Akari finishes.

“Wow. Thank you.”

“No, no, no,” Miki says apologetically. “It's because you're someone I can trust,” Miki says, smiling before noticing Akari's comment. “Hey, Akari, don't say something so hurtful.”

“Mmmph,” she says, turning her head away.

Thanks, Miki, you're an angel. Really.

“I don't understand,” I admit. “Why would two successful women need—?”

“You don't need to understand,” Akari interrupts. “You just need to show up and talk.”

“I won't even know what to talk about with rich suitors. I have nothing in common with them.”

“Exactly,” says Miki. “You're the antithesis of everything they represent.”

“And that's a good thing?”

“In this case, it's perfect,” admits a more calculating Akari.

I look at them. There's something they're not telling me. A lot, probably.

“What do you guys get out of this?”

Akari and Miki put down the poster boards. They sit down, one on each side of me. The sisters’ attack formation. I recognize it; this is the stance they take when they need or want something from me.

“Nii-san,” Akari begins, her voice soft. “Reina-san trusts me. And she asked me to do this as a personal favor.”

“Haruka-san too,” adds Miki. “They say you're the only person who can help them.”

“Why? What do I have that—?”

“We don't know exactly,” admits Akari. “But they were both very sure. They said something about your ‘brutal honesty’ and your ‘immunity to superficial charm.’”

“That sounds made up.”

“This all sounds made up,” Miki agrees. “But it's real. And we need your help.”

I look at them. 22 and 20 years old. Successful. Brilliant. Begging me to take on a job that even they don't fully understand.

“They don't even know what they're asking me to do.”

“We know it's not a bad thing,” says Akari.

“And it pays ridiculously well,” adds Miki.

“The pay is irrelevant, money is asocial construct created---”

“ --To justify abuse~” they say together.

“Ugh!” They have me by the throat. Please, don't do it, don't say it. “Why should I do this?” I ask, a last attempt at resistance. “When they ask me to go out, to look for a job, to ‘live,’ I say no. Why would this be any different?” (Please don't say it, please don't say it, please don't (...))

Silence.

Then Akari and Miki, without looking at me: “Nii-san.”

“Please.”

Ah.

The finisher. Damn it, every time they do that, I can't help but see those two 10- and 8-year-old brats they used to be, who they still are.

“This is emotional manipulation,” she sighs.

“Yes,” they both admit.

“They have no shame.”

“We learned from the best,” says Miki, pointing at me.

“I don't manipulate—”

They look at me.

“Okay, I do manipulate. But not like that.”

“So?” Akari almost begs.

“Will you do it?” Miki has that hope that hurts to see.

“I don't even know what I'll do.”

“Is that a yes?”

"...yes..."

“Niisan!” They jump up and hug each other as if they had won the final of a tournament. I mean, they took me out of my room, something 100 times harder.

“Tomorrow.” They both look at me.

“agh...Tomorrow. Just once. If it's a disaster, don't insist. And if it turns out to be a trap, I'll curse you both.”

They hug him.

They rush off, probably to confirm with their mysterious bosses that their NEET brother agreed to do... something. Whatever. For money and family guilt.

I'm left alone. 

What did I just agree to?

Why did I agree to it without knowing what it is?

Oh, right. Because I'm an idiot.

An idiot who loves his sisters more than he loves his comfort zone.

I return to my chair, Discord is still there, open.

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “...and for all those reasons, people would be dying to talk to me, besides...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing...  (this doesnt seem it gonna stop soon, so i just dropped it)

Shon: “I took a job.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX has stopped typing.

XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing...

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “WHAT?”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “You? A job? Impossible.”

Shon: “Because I'm an IDIOT.”

Shon: “Whyyyyyyy did I accept it?”

Shon: “NOOOOOOOO”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “HAHAHAHAHAHA”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Are they watching you cry?”

Shon: “I'm alone in my room banging on the keyboard.”

Shon: “Whyyyyyyy did I say yes? ”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “HAHAHA first time you've used emoticons!”

Shon: “I'm cooked.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “But wait, who are you going to work for?”

Shon: “My sisters' bosses.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “But you said your sisters are part of a company?”

Shon: “Yes.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “HAHAHAHAHA SLAVE!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Corporate slave! Sold out by your family, and stuck with two old women!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “And what are you going to do for them? cleaning her feets, young man? xDDDD”

Shon: “I have no idea.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “WHAT?! You accepted without knowing?”

Shon: “My sisters said they want me to ‘talk to people’ and ‘be myself.’”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “That's not a job, it's torture.”

Shon: “I KNOW, I too... Did I ever tell you how much I hate you, PIGGY?”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Call me PIGGY all you want, you earned it today champ, don't forget to wash between their fingers too.”

Shon: “Shut up.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Wait, what are their names? I'm going to stalk them (°°) ”

Shon: “...Reina Kuroshima and Haruka Yamaguchi...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Let's see...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing...

XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing...

XxDarknessMaster2003xX has stopped typing.

XxDarknessMaster2003xX is typing...

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “...WHAT?!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “WHAT?!!!!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “BRO”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “BROOOOO”

Shon: “What?”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “[Attached image: Screenshot of Reina in a business magazine]”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “[Attached image: Haruka on the cover of a lifestyle magazine]”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “THEY ARE GODDESSES”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “LITERALLY GODDESSES”

Shon: “Wait, what?”

I search. Google: “Reina Kuroshima.”

Japan's youngest CEO. Forbes 30 under 30. “The Ice Queen of the corporate world.”

And the photos...

Oh.

Oh no.

Google: “Haruka Yamaguchi”

Influencer. Elite Coach. “The woman who can motivate even a rock.” 3 million followers.

The photos are...

Oh my god.

Shon: “...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “REAL?!”

Shon: “They're...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Out of our league? Out of our DIMENSION?”

Shon: “I was going to say terrifying, but yes, that too.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Bro. BRO. Two of the most beautiful and successful women in Japan.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “They love you, AH, don't even think about touching their feet, they're mine, this isn't fair, Peter Parker.”

Shon: “They don't love ME. They don't love me?”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “It doesn't matter! You're going to be in the same room!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Breathing the same air!”

Shon: “That makes it WORSE.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “How can it be worse?”

Shon: “Because now I have to be professionally unpleasant in front of TWO GODDESSES.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “ok yeah, you're screwed”

Shon: “REALLY?!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “but screwed with luck?”

Shon: “just screwed”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “look on the bright side”

Shon: “There is no bright side.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “They could be ugly.”

Shon: “I'd rather they were ugly! I can handle ugly! This is...”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “God-level intimidation?”

Shon: “Intimidation level ‘they're going to judge me and I'm not ready’”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “F”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “But hey”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “At least now I understand why you accepted.”

Shon: “I accepted for my sisters!”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Yeah, right.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “It has nothing to do with the goddesses.”

Shon: “I DIDN'T KNOW WHO THEY WERE WHEN I AGREED.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “But now you know ;)”

Shon: “I hate you.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Good luck tomorrow, bro.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Don't die.”

Shon: “Goodbye.”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “TELL ME EVERYTHING TOMORROW”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “EVERY DETAIL TO UNCLE PIGGY”

Shon: “...it feels disgusting when you call yourself piggy”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “I need to give in order to receive”

XxDarknessMaster2003xX: “Adeus”

I close Discord. I look at the photos on Google once more.

Tomorrow I'll have to face THEM.

Why did I agree to this?

Oh, right. My sisters.

Damn sisters making me do things. Im going to sleep, im just so tired right now.

The life of a NEET, if you boil it down to its essence, is a loop.

Wake up. Eat. Internet. Sleep.

But I just noticed, closed loops have a fatal flaw: they never considered two sisters.