The Unfamiliar Sensation of Peace <<ItWasSupposedToBeLikeThis>>

Joy and relief were unfamiliar emotions for them at that point. By the time they’d exited their confirmation hearing, the television was back to its usual broadcasts, so there was no concerning video of global leaders to tell them to feel anything other than the lightness that was now coursing through their bodies.

Out the door they went and into the cold November air. They didn’t even have a destination. Soon they were on the street. Past the station entrance. Beyond the sight of the courthouse. Around the corner by a konbini. Until neither wanted to move. Then they started to smile. The smile built to a chuckle. The laugh became a laugh, and the laugh became shouting releases of happiness that had been dormant for years.

Miu’s hands cupped Yuki’s face on both sides as she fell to her knees and felt the shakes of joy mixing with the chills of the wind now billowing through her coat. Yuki’s grip came to rest on her back and shoulders, and he pulled her close.

“Come here,” he said softly.

Miu looked up to him as she felt his hands lifting her arms and pulling her into his lap. For once, she allowed herself to be soft and let his pull guide her into his lap. Her hips came to rest on his, and she pulled her feet up to a ball so that all of her body fit in the bracing of his arms and armrests. Her hands extended and wrapped around his neck as he cradled her waist and back. Their heads touched and they felt the warmth of the other’s face. Stray drops of blood ran from Miu’s left eye, but she didn’t care.

They stayed that way for almost an hour, hidden just out of sight from the rest of the world, comfortably alone.

“Want to get a snack?” Yuki laughed.

Miu chuckled and pulled herself closer to him, even though her legs had now fallen asleep.

“Yes. Then, let’s go home.”

Darkness permeated the simple danchi public housing building on the edge of the city. It was a quiet residential neighborhood with moderately maintained housing. Stains of weathering lined the balconies of the complexes that dotted the streets. Clothes wires hung empty across windows. A simple children’s playground held a handful of slides and rocking animals beside forlorn benches. Their building was down a side street and off the main path. It was unassuming and forgettable, but it had a well-maintained sidewalk with straight access to the bus station, working elevators, and bathtubs that were of ideal entrance height.

Yuki had already scheduled a delivery service to deliver his single suitcase to the address, so when they arrived, the small blue luggage was waiting at their door. Miu pushed Yuki’s chair out of the elevator and down the hall to their unit. Wintry winds nipped at her ears and nose as they reached their doorway. Far in the distance, faint flashes of orange light could be seen from the mountainside. A second later, soft, muted thuds were heard. Neither cared. Their focus was on their unit.

“Unit 0419!” Miu exclaimed as Yuki observed the entrance.

The exterior paint was beige and masonic. The door was dark metal. Their numbers were on the left side. The entrance lip was low enough that his wheelchair would easily be able to cross in on his own. Small strands of shards lined the edges of the walkway and wrapped around the building like geode string lights.

“Our home. We’re home,” he sighed with a smile.

“We are,” Miu agreed as she opened the door.

Varnished floors and sliding doors greeted them. A single light fixture illuminated the living room. The kitchen was simple and the counters were easily accessible. The bathroom was across the hall from the one single bedroom. Within the bedroom was a small closet, a single side table, and a full-sized bed. The smaller bed meant there was more room for Yuki’s chair.

Yuki rolled himself in as Miu grabbed the suitcase.

“The key money was more than I expected, and with me not working for a month, I didn’t have a lot left over. So there aren’t any decorations yet,” Miu apologized.

“It’s perfect. We can go get some together,” Yuki replied.

“I’d like that,” Miu agreed.

A small, familiar face caught Yuki’s eye from the living room table.

“Hana!!” Yuki cheered as he rolled forward.

“Yep, she was excited to see you,” Miu said.

Yuki let out a soft grunt as he extended his arm fully to pick up the doll. Miu found herself reaching to help him, but stopped herself.

“It’s good to see you, old friend. I love what you’ve done with your hair.”

“She says thank you. Bangs are all the rage now.”

“Are you going to get bangs?” Yuki turned to Miu.

“I’ve thought about it. I’m not sure how it would look,” Miu responded as she held her hand up to her forehead.

“You’d be beautiful. But you’re beautiful now, too,” Yuki said with a smile as he held Hana close.

“And you’re beautiful too, Hana.”

Miu laughed and moved to sit on the floor beside the table. Yuki’s wide eyes looked around the space with sincere wonder and appreciation. Small bits of color were returning to his skin and irises. Even his smile seemed sincere. Miu focused all of her attention on that moment and the feeling of peace she felt. She breathed it in and let it stitch itself to her soul so that she could have it in her mind and spirit for the rest of her days.

After everything. After all of the pain, loss, fear, and hardship, they were together. And nobody could separate them anymore.

That night, they helped one another cook dinner. It was slow, and methodical as Yuki adjusted to the space. But he wanted cooking to be his responsibility, so Miu obliged. In light of his being able to work yet, this was his way of helping.

“You already do so much. I will handle the cleaning and cooking. Even if it takes me all day outside of school, I’ll make sure it’s done when you get home from work so you can rest.”

Miu let her head rest on the table as she smiled and watched his wheeled body navigate the new corners and edges.

“Do you want me to get your school stuff out so you can work on homework?” she asked as he filled a pan with water from the faucet.

This building was not capitalized enough to afford Arcan tech, so there were no watering crystals. Miu did not mind.

“Yes, please, it’s in my suitcase.”

Miu laid the suitcase down and unzipped it. Opening it revealed clothes, toiletries, school supplies, and an eye-catching brochure that caught her attention.

The image on the front of the flyer was a manu-crystal powered exoskeleton. A young man was harnessed into it and was smiling as he walked in the sun on a public path.

'ArcanStride. Powered by kinetic manu-crystal functionality. Never feel limited again. Terms and conditions apply.'

“What’s this?” Miu asked.

Yuki saw the flyer, and his face lit up.

“It’s the same group that made my chair. They gave me that when I was at the fitting. It’s their next mobility system. They’re testing prototypes and asked if I’d be interested. I’ve already signed up!”

Miu scanned the renderings and descriptive text.

“They use some of the same manu-crystal technology that they use on the train levitations, so there’s no weight limit. It’s a simple spine implant and it will allow me to walk again.”

Miu did not dare stop his excitement, but she could not help but feel concerned about the potential of an invasive implant. Having her own invasive crystal jutting in her eye made her hesitant about such things. But for now, she wanted him to be excited. A lifetime of walking limitations had left scars on Yuki’s body and mind, and it was his decision to make if he wanted to try this new prototype.

“What’s even better, they’ll pay me one-hundred thousand yen if I complete the test period. Think of that. We could go to Fukuoka! Or at least Tokyo!”

Such a prospect was appealing to Miu, even with her concerns. They might finally be able to see the sun and feel warm like they’d always wanted.

“That would be nice,” she agreed as Yuki brought over a bowl of daikon soup for her.

They shared their first dinner, then each took their own separate baths, and then it was time for sleep.

Nerves fluttered in both of their chests as they entered the bedroom in their pajamas. Another chill shook Miu’s body, and she didn’t know if it was embarrassed excitement or cold from the nearby single-paned window. She watched in silence as Yuki locked his chair wheels and hoisted himself onto the armrests.

“Okay, I like this height actually. This should be easy to get in and out of.”

His palms came to rest on the mattress, and he balanced himself before slowly rotating. It was awkward but familiar for him. As he turned, he grabbed his pant legs to help pull his feet into their correct position. Then he allowed himself to fall back and pull his limbs up onto the mattress. It took a moment, but he made it. He was in bed.

“Nice,” he said with a thumbs up.

Miu approached and pulled the blanket over his legs until he could reach.

“Do you want the kakebuton?” Miu asked as she lifted a nearby quilt.

“I know you will, so yep, load it up,” Yuki said.

Miu smiled and laid the quilt over the blanket before pulling them both aside. Then she picked up Hana from the side table and set her knee on the edge of the bed.

“Oooookaaaaayyyy,” she whispered to herself as she got under the covers with Yuki.

It was warm. It was soft. He was there with her. For a moment, everything felt right. Yuki’s head turned to face Miu just as she slowly undid the bindings on her eye patch. Neither of them broke their gaze as she nervously removed her fabric covering, letting him fully see her eye for the first time.

“Oh, Miu…” he whispered as his hand found hers under the sheets.

“I’m so sorry.”

Glowing blue pierced out in the low light as her eyes stayed held by his. The scarring around her lids was lumped and cruel, with gashes of mangled flesh angling out and down her cheek. His thumb met her face and slid along the edges of the scarring.

“You really are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” she softly replied.

“Sorry, Hana,” Yuki grinned.

“She says it’s okay.”

That night, they fell asleep holding one another with a gentle intensity. Their heads stayed against one another, with Hana lying between them. Hands rested on waists. Toes met legs. And far away, deep in the mountains, the explosions continued and stray glyphs of unknown meaning appeared and shattered again and again.