Trouble—Center Stage

“Will this really work out?”

I overhear one of the stylists talking quietly with a set tech.

Probably not.

All my life—and even now—I’ve been encouraged to try my hand at this industry, but there’s a reason I’ve never been interested in pursuing a modelling career or anything of the sort. I lack one very crucial skill to make it work: I can’t act.

Or, rather, I have no idea how to carry myself and react well to situations I’ve never personally experienced.

Thirty minutes into the photoshoot, and the director still isn’t happy with any of the shots I'm in. At this point, we’ve rearranged the schedule so Mia and Kubo can do their solo and duo shots first, saving anything involving me for last.

Sitting off to the side with a water bottle in hand, I try my hardest to hold back tears. The last thing I need is for my makeup to smear. For now, I focus on observing and try to learn whatever I still can in the remaining time.

On set, a coordinator helps Mia and Kubo into a pose that has Mia awkwardly balancing herself on the arm of a couch. I can’t tell if she’s struggling or not—her movements are so graceful when she makes any adjustments. Kubo also supports her when he can, using his arm to steady her until the director calls for shots of them at opposite ends of the couch.

This continues for a while, the director making only minor corrections, until Kubo’s manager calls for a break. I move to assist Mia out of habit, but Kubo’s PA stops me, saying she’ll handle it and that I should take some time to myself. So I step away from the set and try to find a place where I can get some fresh air and gather my thoughts.

Luckily, I find the exit door tucked away in an inconspicuous corner of the building. It leads out onto a medium-sized balcony, neatly furnished with white seating and a black table in the center. I walk straight to the railing overlooking the city and breathe in deeply. A sharp scent of tobacco catches me off guard, and I look over to see Kubo staring directly at me.

Oh.

The surprise on his face mirrors my own. I look at him, the cigarette in his hand, then back at him.

"I didn't know you smoked?" 

These days, actors are scrutinized for smoking, drinking—anything that might harm their public image.

“Quitting,” Kubo says, taking another drag before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the ledge.

“Got it,” I say, turning away. I’ve learned something I shouldn’t have.

“Does your PA know?” My curiosity is going to be the end of me.

"No."

I really really should not be here then. The silence grows uncomfortable and I consider leaving, but Kubo speaks before I can.

"Are you alright?"

"What?" I ask.

He doesn't answer immediately. Instead, he seems to be considering his next words carefully. 

"Is this your first time? Doing a photoshoot like this?" he finally asks.

I feel the tips of my ears grow hot. I don't want to be confronted like this.

I nod. 

He goes back to thinking. 

"Are you uncomfortable, perhaps?"

"Excuse me?" I have no idea what he’s trying to confirm. He's beating around the bush, and it's frustrating.

"You keep freezing up. Which would be simple enough to fix if it happened constantly, but you’re relaxed around Watanabe-san. Those shots were passable. And so I’ve noticed you tense more when we’re in close proximity to each other. That leads me to believe I may be making you uncomfortable in some way—be it the past or our present situation," he continues.

He analyzed all of that earlier?

"No. I'm not uncomfortable, it's just—how do I put this? The photoshoot is for Diome’s new perfume, right? The name is Envy. I’m having trouble relating to the theme the way they want us to. Two women competing over one man? Why wouldn’t the girlfriend just leave the moment he shows interest in someone else?" 

I twirl the ends of my hair around a finger and look up at the bright sky. It’s one of those rare, beautiful days I don’t have the time to enjoy. Images of a past I’d rather forget flash through my mind, and I let out a long sigh.

"But I was watching you two. Somehow you make a scene that makes no sense to me look effortless. And Mia? She's amazing. I could watch her work forever. I guess maybe in that sense, it’s hard not to feel some kind of envy there." I let out a quiet, bitter laugh. "But mostly I just want to see her shine. I don’t need to stand beside her as long as I can take care of her from the sidelines." 

I glance down at my hair, then back at Kubo. His gaze is intense, and my face warms as my own words sink in. I cover my mouth. I’m always careful not to be informal at work. That’s what Mia and I agreed on when we started working together. But I got caught up in talking about her, I let things slip in front of the one person I’d rather not have either of us grow close to.

"Ah, I see," he says, resting his hand thoughtfully against his chin.

What exactly is it that you see?

"I had no idea that's how it is," he continues.

How what is?

"Normally, I would rather not mix personal matters with work. But this is a special circumstance..."

What is he talking about?!

“You said you’re struggling to apply the theme to your life, correct?”

"Yes, but—"

“Then imagine it differently. It may help.”

He steps closer, and I instinctively step back, bumping into the building wall.

"W-what?" I ask.

“We’ll need to be closer than this for the shoot, and your expression is… well, you can’t react like that.”

He’s close enough that I can see how thick his eyelashes are. More beautiful than most women could hope for.

"I believe I understand now why you keep Watanabe-san and me on opposite schedules. I apologize for not taking your feelings into consideration. However, I would like to be clear that I will continue to seek out Watanabe-san with the intent to spend time together personally. I think it’s only fair that you know my intentions."

"Are you sure you don't have the wrong idea?" I ask. 

He is definitely getting the wrong idea.

Kubo shakes his head.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, as I trust mine is with you?" He glances over at the ashtray, then back to me. "And in fact, you can use your feelings today." 

The unusually soft expression he’s had this whole time shifts into something more mischievous. He leans in close, his voice dropping to a barely-there whisper.

"Does it frustrate you? That I'm trying to take your woman away?" He pulls back with a half-cocked smile.

I feel my entire body growing warm. With anger.

I knew it. This whole time, I knew he wasn't just being a good senpai. I could smell ulterior motives from a mile away, and now I have confirmation. Straight from the source. He’s working under a slightly concerning misconception, but I can correct that later.

Oh, Renji Kubo, it’s official. You and I are truly enemies.