Forevermore Fades

“Naoe?” he asked.

“I wanted to feel the water. Even just a little. And I wanted to watch you,” she admitted.

Hazuki turned to face her as she took a few steps closer to him. In his mind he wanted her to remove her garments and join him, but he knew that was too greedy and indecent at the time, so he reserved himself to silently watch her enjoy the tide dancing against her feet. Waves lapped around her ankles and she hiked her kimono up slightly to guarantee it stayed dry. All the while she kept the blossoms firmly clasped in her hand.

Water flattened the hair on Hazuki’s head against his body. He brushed it back, fully revealing his face for the first time as he continued to watch her. Naoe met his gaze and admired his fully visible face.

“You’re very beautiful,” said Naoe as she watched him.

Her soft tone caused him to pause and admire her as well. Pink reflections from her kimono danced in the rippling water as tides pulled and pushed small waves against her pale skin.

“You are too,” Hazuki replied.

“You should brush your hair out of your eyes,” she grinned in her smile that was never fully happy.

“I will moving forward,” he agreed with a smirk.

Sounds of nature and lapping water echoed between them as they stood meters and lifetimes apart.

“I don’t want you to go,” he confessed sadly.

“Me either. I’ll be back before you know it,” she answered.

“Is it scary? Going back to sleep?” he asked.

Naoe shook her head.

“Not scary. Just bittersweet. Even more so now.”

Hazuki scrubbed his head and Naoe found herself admiring the water streaming down his arms and chest like she had imagined. Even though the water was up to his stomach, she wished he would walk forward to a more shallow space. Womanly desire fluttered in her chest and legs and she blushed in appreciation.

Hazuki finished and paused. Naoe looked away, still maintaining a sense of modesty and decorum even though both of them secretly wanted otherwise. Towel cloth pulled moisture from Hazuki's skin and left him dry. Clothes returned to their proper place on Hazuki’s body and he was decent once more.

Erotic secrets hung in the air like fog but neither of them acknowledged them. Trees beckoned them back into their lair and the couple set off back to the grove, hand in hand.

Hazuki made a quick stop at a store on the road back to the park but asked Naoe to stay outside. It was only for a moment and both of them felt a fear that Naoe might not be there when he got back. But she was. He returned in less than a minute with a single bag that he hid in his pocket as he approached.

“What’s that?” Naoe asked.

“You’ll see. We’ll have it back at the park.”

Night arrived and the sensation of separation grew. Hazuki realized this was likely his last night with Naoe. Naoe knew it was. Hours gathered like dew as they sat outside of his tent.

“I had a lovely day with you. I left the park!!” Naoe exclaimed as she reflected.

“You did a lot this season!” agreed Hazuki.

“You did too,” answered Naoe.

Hazuki nodded and she took his hand.

“You’ve taken such good care of me. I have cherished this season. I will remember it forever,” she said in a poignant tone.

“Thank you for letting me. I missed you Naoe. Even when the drugs and horrors of life made my mind forget you, my heart didn’t,” said Hazuki as he held her hand once more.

“Thank you for helping me reconnect with myself,” said Hazuki.

“Thank you for doing the same for me. I had matcha again because of you,” said Naoe.

“Oh, that reminds me. You’re not just having matcha this season,” said Hazuki with a grin as he rummaged into his pocket and retrieved a small bottle.

“Is that?...” asked Naoe.

“You know it. Plum wine!” proclaimed Hazuki as he unscrewed the cap.

“Oooooohhhhh my gooooooooddddddnessssss you didn’t have to!” cheered Naoe as she clapped her hands in excitement.

Hazuki removed the cap and handed her the bottle.

“I’m going to cry again,” laughed Naoe.

“I wanted to send you off right. To thank you for all these days and to say I’m sorry for all the days we missed,” said Hazuki.

Naoe paused and brushed his hair aside.

“It wasn’t your fault. You’re here now. We’re together again. I am thankful for you,” she said softly as her eyes turned melancholy once more.

“I’m thankful for you,” he replied.

With that, Naoe took a sip of plum wine and let out a sigh of ecstasy.

“Delicious,” she replied as she closed her eyes.

Sips were shared and soon the bottle was empty. Late night had arrived and fatigue mixed with alcohol had made Hazuki exhausted. As sleep crept into his eyes against his will, he looked once more at Naoe who was sitting with her eyes closed humming to herself.

Reflecting have her mind time to process the complexity of the boy beside her, and the rushing feelings building in her heart. Something blossomed in that instance. Moonlight highlighted her hair in a silver glow. Her song was melancholy and from a world long gone. One of her poetry books was in her lap.

“I thought if a poem…” Naoe said softly.

Hazuki rested on his palms.

“Can I hear it?” he asked.

Leaves rustled as Naoe looked at him with a soft smile.

“It’s for you.”

Shifts in body weight pulled them closer to the other as Naoe cleared her throat. Petals from the blossoms drifted around them in weightless goodbyes to Spring’s softness.

“With petals drifting,

Goodbye clings to empty air—

forevermore fades.”

There was something somber in her voice that caused Hazuki’s brow to raise.

“What is it?” he asked.

Naoe inhaled and lowered her head slightly. Secrets of sadness hung in the greyed corners of her eyes as she blinked and gathered her words. All around them, more petals began to fall away from their branches.

“If I asked you to leave this park. To carry on with your life. What would you do?” she asked in a neutral tone.

It was surprising to Hazuki.

“I’d… ask you why you wanted me to do that. Are you unhappy with me being here?”

Naoe shook her head as her soft smile faded to a frown.

“The opposite. This has been my favorite spring in, well, perhaps my entire time at this tree. You are so precious to me. And I will cherish this time forevermore. But I don’t want you to miss out on life because of me. I don’t want you to just stay at this tree. One person confined here is enough. I want you to get better.”

Their eyes met. Hazuki knew he was indeed not well. Scars from the years lined his soul with calloused remnants as much as they did his body. But this tree. Naoe. That was the only thing that had given him any manner of peace.

“… I don’t know what ‘better’ is… I don’t know if… if I’ll ever truly get well. But you, being with you. T-that helped. Your presence has soothed something I thought would never calm.”

Without realizing it, Hazuki’s fingers had softly reached for Naoe’s. To his relief, she didn’t pull away, even though he gaze was stoic and layered.

Naoe sighed, holding the dread in her spirit as a secret weight that she hid away from his gentle eyes. In truth, she didn’t want him to part. So much of her yearned for him to be close. It was foreign, and unrefined, but something resembling peace and longing. In many ways, that scared her even more.

“But you can have a life. You can… not have to sit here and wait for me.”

“I won’t sit here. I’ll keep trying to get better. I don’t want to be this way forever. I just don’t know what I do want to be. Yet. But I know that I want to be with you. In whatever manner that looks like. If you’ll have me.”

Words escaped Naoe as she looked at the cane resting beside them. After centuries of idleness, now that she faced this season’s end, she finally felt the mortal dread of time passing too quickly.

There was so much more she wanted to say and see. She wanted to spend more time with him. She wanted to see him get better. She wanted to make sure he never knew what was supposed to come next. Then, when the time was right, she wanted to be able to say goodbye to him.

But it wouldn’t be this spring. Though she wanted him to run far away and would have happily accepted the burden to come if it meant knowing he was safe, she also wanted another sunset with him. She knew she could comfortably continue the suffering for another year.

Thus, she accepted that this would not be goodbye, and allowed herself to receive the warm sensation she felt from seeing his subtle smile as he met her gaze once more.

“I’ll focus on getting better while you’re gone,” said Hazuki.

All Naoe could do was nod.

Hazuki unzipped his tent and began to set out his bedtime arrangement. Doing so gave life to the reality that this was likely their last moment together for a very long time. After years of youth not fully understanding the weight of waiting for three seasons, now Hazuki looked at the upcoming summer with regret. He would give anything to force spring to last just a little longer.

“Would you stay beside me until I fall asleep again?” he asked her.

Naoe nodded and moved near him as he stretched out and laid onto his futon.

“Goodnight Naoe. I’ll miss you,” he said.

“Goodbye Hazuki. I’ll see you when I wake up,” she answered as she laid down beside him.

Hazuki felt her press against him as her small breaths grazed the hair on his neck. Even though she couldn’t sleep in this realm, her eyes were closed and he knew it meant she would be gone soon. He inhaled through his nose and savored the hints of honey and plum once more as consciousness faded.

When he awoke the next morning, she was gone. All that remained were a handful of faded blossoms on the ground where her hand had been.