KOI NO AIMA/INTERLUDE OF LONGING

NOROI

She holds onto me so tightly,Sakura only ever uses all her strength when she thinks something will leave her soon.
I am almost at the point I can not bear it.All I ever wanted was a few things:
My family to have lived and not been slain because of a small lie that was told over a nothing matter that led to their brutal deaths.
The sword to finally be ripped from my hands and no longer a stain that keeps growing larger of blood and tears.
And,

Her.
I never got to have her long enough,usually only a year and it was less than a handful of times we had a peaceful go of life together.
Even only one did we have a baby and she was gone as quick as Sakura left again.

A heart can only bear so much before it becomes as, nothing.Withering into a shadow and it feels near to that except in her rare presence.

I want to cling onto these moments longer,harder.But my heart knows that this whole return has been sometimes only subtlely different,others like the shogunate dominating us so utterly?
This time seems to be the ultimate time and I refuse to let go easily.

I never have and I never will.
I pull her arms from my waist,I even feel how Itoshi Hito thinks I am somehow rejecting her because she closes her hands like she would to calm her heart as she always has to ensure a calm facade but I turn to her face first and look her in the eyes,I put my hands to her cheeks and gently slide my thumbs up and down her cheeks until I just put my forehead to hers.

My words come out softly.

"Let me have one more night of just you and I and no future or past.A few hours and my word that I will love you each time and until death.I have vowed my heart to yours each time and do so now.So I request of you.Sunlight and I will hear your every word about what must be.For now let us have what we wish to be?"
I open my eyes and she is smiling softly,the one dimple she has makes a rare appearance that I caress.

"I am so sorry that I forgot so much,that I am not fully either versions of me you remember.You should have the best of me and I am sorry this is all you have."

I guide her face back to mine again and ease her back to forehead to forehead.

"There has never been a worst of you so..Hush so I can enjoy a brief moment of wooing you."

That laugh....
Thank you GOD for such a healing thing.