Chapter 104: The Cello from Hell

"It is not a bat, Aoi-chan! Do not swing it!"

I am holding the cello. It is huge. It is heavy. It is stupid.

"Why does it have to be so big?" I complain, trying to shove it into its hard case. "Can I not play the flute? A flute is easy to hide. I could hide a flute in my boot."

"The flute player is not six feet tall with an angry glare," Mariko says, checking her tablet. "The cellist is tall. You fit her uniform. You do not fit the flute player's uniform because she is tiny."

"This is ridiculous. I do not know how to play this thing!"

"You do not need to play it," Hiroto says, adjusting my staff uniform. It is a stiff, uncomfortable grey suit. "You just need to carry it through security. It is your Trojan Horse."

"It is heavy enough to be a real horse."

I try to pick up the case. I swing it over my shoulder like a kendo sword.

CRASH.

I knock over a lamp.

"CAREFUL!" Rika shrieks. "That is a rented cello! It costs more than my car!"

"Sorry," I mutter.

"Okay, let us practice the Musician Walk," Hiroto says. "You need to look artistic and tortured. You need to look like you are thinking about deep, sad things."

I glare at him.

"PERFECT!" he shouts. "That is the look! It is the Misunderstood Artist Who Hates The World look! You are a natural!"

"I just hate you right now."

"Use it! Channel it!"

Toujo walks in. He is wearing a chef's uniform that is two sizes too big.

"Toujo reporting for duty!" he salutes. His hat falls over his eyes.

"Why is he here?" I ask Mariko.

"He is backup," Mariko says. "If you get stopped, he is the distraction."

"I am going to spill soup on a diplomat!" Toujo announces proudly.

"Please do not," Mariko sighs.

We are ready.

I have my dress hidden in the bottom of the cello case, under the actual cello. I have Rika's makeup kit taped to the inside of the lid.

I am a walking, musical contraband unit.

I look at myself in the mirror. I see the grey, stiff uniform. My hair is pulled back in a severe bun. I am carrying a giant case.

I do not look like Bloody Twilight.

I look like a very angry librarian who is about to go on tour.

"Operation Trojan Cello is a go," Daiki says from his laptop. "The Emperor is online. He is waiting at the pond. Do not keep him waiting. He gets cranky."

I take a deep breath.

I hoist the cello.

"Let us go crash a party."