Chapter 115: The Emperor's Care Package

A truck is honking outside my house.

I stumble downstairs. Fuji is already at the door.

"Delivery for... Kenji?" the driver asks.

"That is me."

The driver opens the back of the truck.

It is a cow.

A live cow.

There is a note tied to its collar: [Heard you are poor. Do not starve. - Grandpa]

"He sent a cow," Fuji says. He does not even look surprised. "Of course he did."

"WHERE ARE WE GOING TO PUT A COW, FUJI?!" I scream.

"The backyard? It needs mowing anyway."

My mom comes out. She gasps.

"Oh! Fresh milk! How wonderful! Fuji-kun, you are so thoughtful!"

"MOM NO."

Fuji is already petting the cow.

"She is a fine animal," he assesses. "Good bone structure."

"STOP APPRAISING THE COW."

My phone buzzes. Daiki.

DaikiJerk: "Grandpa says check your loot box. LOL."

Me: "I HATE YOU ALL."

Ten minutes later.

Fuji is in the backyard with the cow (he named her 'Bessie', because apparently he is unoriginal).

"Okay, Mr. Independent," I say, crossing my arms. "You lived alone for three years. Did you ever have to milk a cow?"

He looks at Bessie. He looks at the bucket he found.

"No," he admits. "This is a new curriculum."

He rolls up his sleeves. He looks determined.

"It cannot be harder than advanced calculus."

Spoiler: It was harder than advanced calculus.

We did not get any milk. We just got very dirty and Bessie stepped on Fuji's foot.

We ended up buying milk at the store.

Fuji drank it sadly.

"It is just not the same," he sighed.

I love this idiot.