Chapter 16: The Study Session Sabotage

Midterms are approaching, which means my usual routine of barely passing while exhausted needs to change. I am sitting at the dining room table, surrounded by textbooks, trying to make sense of advanced chemistry.

"Takeshi-nii," Azuwa says, sliding into the seat next to me. She adjusts her glasses, which I still maintain are fake. "Your current study trajectory is suboptimal. Based on my observations, you are retaining only forty percent of this information."

"I'm tired, Azuwa. My brain is full of idol trivia and stress."

"Precisely why you need a structured tutor," she says, opening her own impeccably color-coded notebook. "I have already mastered this curriculum. I will teach you. It is the most efficient way to ensure your academic happiness."

"Ooh! A study date!" Inoue cheers, flopping down on my other side. "I'll be the cheerleader! Go, Oppa, go! Conquer those molecules!"

From the kitchen doorway, Ayumi narrows her eyes. I can practically hear the gears in her head grinding as she processes this new threat. Azuwa is smart, competent, and actually helping. This cannot stand.

"Studying is so boring without brain food!" Ayumi loudly declares, marching over. "Onii-chan can't focus if his blood sugar is low! I'll make snacks!"

Ten minutes later, we are deep into covalent bonds when Ayumi returns. She is holding a tray with three massive, towering sundaes. They are monstrosities of ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles.

"Here you go!" Ayumi chirps, placing the largest one directly onto my open chemistry textbook.

"Ayumi! My notes!" I yell, trying to salvage the dampening pages.

"Oops! My hand slipped!" she says, entirely unconvincingly. She then slides the other two towards Azuwa and Inoue. "Eat up! Brain freeze means you're learning!"

Azuwa stares at the sundae suspiciously. "This is highly illogical. The sugar crash from this will severely impede cognitive function in twenty minutes."

"Just eat it, Azuwa-chan! It's Japanese tradition!" Ayumi insists, practically shoving the spoon into Azuwa's hand.

I watch as Ayumi retreats, a smug look on her face. She knows Azuwa hates messy foods.

Five minutes later, Azuwa is struggling. She takes a tiny bite, gets a minuscule speck of chocolate on her lip, and immediately has to spend thirty seconds wiping it off with a wet nap. Her study flow is completely broken.

"Okay, so if Carbon shares an electron..." I start.

"Wait," Azuwa interrupts, looking distressed as a drip of melting ice cream threatens to fall onto her pristine notebook. "I must stabilize this dessert's structural integrity before we continue."

Meanwhile, Inoue has already inhaled hers and is now vibrating with intense sugar rush energy. "OPPA! LOOK AT THIS ATOM! IT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE MICKEY MOUSE! CAN I DRAW FACES ON THEM?" She starts furiously doodling smiley faces all over my periodic table.

"Inoue, stop! That's my reference sheet!"

Ayumi watches from the corner, victorious. "Oh no, is studying too hard now?" she calls out innocently. "Maybe you should all just take a break and watch TV with me!"

"Never!" Azuwa snaps, now holding her melting sundae like it's a ticking bomb. "I will defeat this dessert and then I will teach you chemistry! It is a matter of pride!"

I look at my chocolate-stained textbook and my vandalized periodic table. I am definitely failing this test.