Chapter 18: The Great Bake-Off Sabotage

The kitchen is once again a battlefield. Azuwa and Inoue have decided that the way to a man's heart is through baked goods. They are attempting to make a 'Gâteau au Chocolat'.

"It must be precise," Azuwa says, leveling a cup of flour with a knife. "Baking is chemistry. If we follow the formula, the result will be optimal happiness."

Ayumi is 'helping'. By which I mean, she is hovering like a vulture waiting for a moment of weakness.

"Are you sure you don't want my secret ingredient?" Ayumi asks sweetly, holding a jar of something suspicious.

"No," Azuwa says firmly. "Go away, Ayumi-san."

I am sitting at the counter, forced to watch this 'Happiness Baking' event. I see Ayumi's eyes dart to the small bowls of pre-measured ingredients Azuwa has set out.

"Oh, look! Is that a spider?!" Ayumi suddenly shrieks, pointing to the far corner of the ceiling.

It's the oldest trick in the book. Azuwa and Inoue both look up. "Where? I hate spiders!" Inoue yelps.

In that split second, Ayumi acts. She grabs the bowl of sugar and swaps it with the identical bowl of salt sitting near the stove for regular cooking. It is a classic, almost cartoonish act of villainy.

"False alarm," Ayumi says quickly, stepping back with an innocent smile. "Must have been a shadow."

Azuwa glares at her but returns to her baking. She dumps the entire bowl of salt into the chocolate batter.

I watch this happen. I know I should say something. But if I do, Ayumi will deny it, Azuwa will get defensive, and we'll be here for another three hours while they re-do it. Sometimes, you just have to let the disaster happen.

Forty minutes later, the cake comes out of the oven. It looks beautiful. Dark, rich, and smelling mostly like chocolate.

"Behold," Azuwa says proudly, placing a slice in front of me. "Perfection."

"Eat it, Oppa! We made it with love!" Inoue cheers.

Ayumi is in the corner, practically vibrating with anticipation. She's waiting for my face to crumple in disgust so she can rush in with her own 'emergency backup cookies' she secretly bought earlier.

I take a forkful. I know what's coming. I brace myself.

I put it in my mouth.

It is indescribable. It’s like eating the ocean, if the ocean was made of cocoa powder. My entire face wants to implode. The salt is overwhelming. It is actively sucking the moisture from my body.

"Mmm," I manage to choke out, tears welling in my eyes. "It's... very... unique."

"He's crying! He's so happy he's crying!" Inoue claps her hands.

Ayumi's jaw drops. "What? No! He hates it! Look at him, he's turning purple!"

"He is overcome with emotion," Azuwa states smugly. "Success."

"I don't believe it!" Ayumi storms over. "Let me taste that!"

She grabs my fork and shoves a huge piece into her own mouth before I can warn her.

Her reaction is immediate. Her eyes bulge. She turns three different shades of green. She sprints to the sink and spits it out violently.

"IT'S SALT! IT'S ALL SALT!" she screams, rinsing her mouth with tap water.

Azuwa blinks, confused. She dips a finger into the batter bowl, tastes it, and her stoic expression finally breaks into a grimace of pure horror.

"Sabotage," Azuwa whispers, her eyes locking onto Ayumi, who is still gargling water. "This is an act of war."

I quietly slide the rest of my deadly cake slice into the trash while they aren't looking. I love my sister, but sometimes her plans really do leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.