Chapter 23: Do You Remember Them?

“You’re a big bully!” Berus sobbed, flailing his fists weakly at Laura. “I swear it wasn’t on purpose!” She replied, having her arms up in defense. “I’m sorry! I’ll give you my dessert for a whole week!” “Two weeks!” He slapped her face. “Fine, fine!” Berus stopped his attack, sniffing and wiping his nose.

“Okay, you two,” Ferral walked over and split the two apart. “That’s enough rowdiness for one day. Let’s have lunch.” Their eyes widened with joy, and they ran over to the large pail. Forgetting all about their spat.

As the group ate, Dr. Atlas scooched closer to Ferral. He leaned over, “Hey, can I ask you something?” He nudged. Ferral raised an eyebrow, “What?” “So, I notice every other experiment doesn’t wear shoes or socks. Only you. Why?” Ferral shrugged, “I just prefer to wear shoes. Feels more comfortable.” Nia and Leona knew that that was a half-baked answer, but didn’t want to get involved. “That’s it?” Atlas was disappointed. “I was expecting something along the lines of it made you a better fighter or something.” “Not every facet of my life revolves around fighting.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Leona muttered as she went to take a drink of water.

Afterward, they all headed back to the village. Once there, the group split off. Leona headed off into the forest to train while the others went back to the mansion. The kids went to play with the crows that were in Laura’s room. Nia helped Ferral pack some clothes and a few other supplies. But Dr. Atlas simply wandered the house, not exactly sure what to do. He knocked on Ferral’s bedroom door. Ferral opened it.

“What?” “So, uhhh…is there anything to do around here?” Atlas asked, rocking back and forth on his feet. Ferral sighed, “Follow me.” He walked out of the room, Atlas walking beside him. The two headed to the first floor, where Ferral led Atlas to a room on the far left side. He opened it, revealing a big room with several bookshelves. Dr. Atlas gasped in awe, looking around the whole room. “This is the mansion library,” Ferral said, “Enjoy, and keep everything organized.” He started walking out the door before turning. “And I’ll know if something’s out of place.” He warned, leaving and closing the door.

It was the late afternoon, and Ferral decided to go for a walk by himself. A mild mist began to roll in, but Ferral wasn’t worried about getting lost. He’d been out here for so long, no matter the weather conditions, he could find his way back to the village without a sweat. He would do these walks when his mind felt overwhelmed. They would help him get away from all the stress and explore the things he loved deeply. Nature. Animals, plants, and everything else this planet had to offer, Ferral enjoyed every bit of it.

The mist grew a little thicker once he stopped by a pond. He had decided to stop and skip rocks for a while. The jungle was alive with noise; animal calls coming from many directions. Various frogs mainly filled the air with their croaks, but Ferral could hear the sound of a few birds calling from tree to tree. The crunch of leaves started coming closer to the opposite side of the pond, and a cassowary came out of the mist. It dipped its head for a drink; two little popped out of the mist beside it. This was a father and his two children. Ferral smiled, thinking of his own kids and how they would follow him around sometimes. Once the cassowary was done, he and his chicks disappeared back into the mist.

Ferral continued to skip a few more rocks before deciding it was time to go back. As he went to pick up one more rock, the sound of one skipping across the pond rang through the area. Ferral whipped around, ready for a fight, but was met with Leona standing behind.

“Boy, you seem jumpy,” She teased, picking up another rock and skipping it. “I have…a lot…on my mind.” He responded, throwing the rock he had in his hand. “Some of us, unlike others, have lots of responsibility.” Leona scoffed, “I didn’t know nearly driving the human race to extinction was a responsibility.” “If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been some other psycho. They should feel grateful I even left some still around.” There was a silence. Not just between them, but the whole jungle felt as if it had died.

“Look, I didn’t come to argue about right and wrong,” Leona said, looking out to the pond. “I just want to have a small talk.” Ferral walked closer to the pond, showing his back to her. “Well, make it quick.” He grumbled. Another pause of silence, the mist seemingly getting thicker.

“Do you miss them?” Leona asked softly, slowly stepping beside Ferral. It didn’t take much time for him to know who she was referring to. “No.” He replied, his voice void of emotion. Leona chuckled, “Don’t bullshit me, Ferral.” She moved in front of him, their eyes locking. “That day, you saved Clare and Buck’s kid and kept me alive. Why?” Ferral shifted his head away, “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.” Leona moved to look at his face. “Look me in the eyes and tell me why.” Her voice and expression were more serious. “Tell me why you kept us alive. Tell me what’s wrong. Don’t shut me out again, Ferral.”

Ferral rolled his eyes and started to walk off. “I loved them!” Leona said, with a shakiness in her voice. This stopped Ferral, but he kept his back turned. “Same as you. You don’t think I don’t feel the same guilt eating away at me every day? That I don’t toss and turn at night wishing things could’ve been different?” “I don’t feel guilt for anything.” Ferral hissed. “I have done nothing wrong.” Leona slowly moved closer to Ferral, “Please, Ferral, we can’t make this same mistake again. You can try and push it down all you want, but it’s not going to help.” She inched her way closer, but it felt as if he would take another step forward.

“Just talk to me, Ferral. Yell, scream, I don’t care. But I’m not going to let your guilt eat you up like it did before.” “There’s nothing to talk about, Leona.” Ferral turned around, walking face-to-face with Leona. “I don’t have guilt, because I’m not going to stick myself to the past the way you do. To focus on the ‘what ifs’ or ‘what could’ve been.’ Because you’re right, at one point, the guilt did get the better of me, and I learned the hard way from it.” The wind began to pick up, the mist blowing along with it.

“I’ve moved on from all of it, moved on from you,” Ferral continued, “None of it matters anymore. My focus is on my people…my family. You should start doing the same. The sooner you do that, the better it is for yourself.” Leona let out a small laugh. She could see through it all. “Your voice says one thing, but your eyes say another. I know, because this is exactly what happened when you were obsessed with finding that cure.” She smiled, shaking her head. “Even after all these years, you’re still an idiot.”

She turned and started to walk off. “You’re my brother, Ferral.” She stopped, her voice full of heart, “I love you.” She continued, leaving Ferral.

He stood there, in the same spot. His fist clenched and teeth grit. He stared at the ground, the mist blowing into his face and obscuring his vision for a moment. Something started to bubble inside him, a tightening in his stomach. He wanted to throw up, his head felt dizzy, and this anger started to fill him. Yet, it wasn’t directed at Leona. It wasn’t directed at humans. He felt anger toward…himself. He hoped this anger would never come up again.