Chapter 21 The Toy Store where I Died

The sound of Mirai’s fleeing sobs faded down the hallway, leaving a heavy, painful silence in the hospital room. 

Lycoris let out a soft, sorrowful sigh.

 “Ara ma, poor Mirai-chan. This is bad. She completely misunderstood the situation… and honestly, I can’t blame her. When you said you loved me, she thought that you meant it romantically, not as a fan. Shota-chan, you should go after her. She is really hurt. You need to properly explain it.”

 “Umm. But… I love you not as a fan. And… I was trying to, but I can’t move. My body feels like lead."

“Oh my. I took too much of your mana again. I’m so sorry, Shota-chan. It takes a tremendous amount for me to materialize in this form, even for a short time.”

With a soft, final puff of air, her entire form dissolved into a cloud of brilliant pink glitter that rained down over the hospital bed.

Her voice echoed in his mind once more, but the tone had completely changed. The gentle, melodic warmth was gone.

"Now! I'm back in your body, but I wish I had given you a good smack on the head before I dissolved. This whole 'loving me' thing. Please, do not joke about it. You say you love me? What do you even know about me? The real me? All you know is the image on the TV and the social media feeds. That is not me. That is not who I am. That is not the real Lycoris Noire."

"But I do love you. It's not some joke. I'm serious."

"Shota-chan. You keep saying you love me. But you love a ghost. A symbol. You love 'Lycoris Noire.' Did you ever stop to think that maybe it wasn't the name my parents gave me? That the Pro Wizard Association just create a hero for the people... they created a brand? A story to sell to the public? My name... my real name... is plain and simple. There's nothing flashy or fancy about it. It's Yumi Akari. Yes, Yumi Akari. It was... normal. Sweet. It was the name of a girl you might meet in a bookstore, or who might live next door. 

I was once just a simple girl from a simple family. A girl who just happened to have too much magic and too many big dreams. That's all.

 Shota-chan, do you even know what color I like? You probably think black and pink, because that was the 'brand.' But I don't like them at all. My favorite color is green. The color of new leaves and quiet forests.

Do you even know how old I am? I am 128 years old. I was the Witch Queen for 49 of them. I look 23 because I had a massive mana pool, and as you know, people with a lot of mana age slowly. During my time, I have seen generations of fans like you come and go.

In that time I have lived. I've had pets I adored. I have loved. I have dated. I was married once and had a child, a long, long time ago. But time is cruel to those who have too much of it. They are all gone now. I know what true love looks like, feels like. I am not some little, virgin girl waiting for a prince in a fairy tale.

What you love is the image. The title. The power. Not the real me. You wouldn't even look twice at me if you saw me on the street, without the fancy dress and the glowing magic. I had a life. Friends. A favorite café. I even ran a small toy store, because I loved seeing children's smiles."

Shota, desperate to hold onto his fantasy, blurted out, "That's not true! I would recognize you anywhere! Because I lov—"

"No, you wouldn't, Shota-chan. You didn't recognize me at all. You met me. Ten years ago. At the toy store where I 'died.' You talked to me. And you couldn't even tell it was me. That toy store was mine. The cashier, the 'nice lady' you were so excited to talk to about the Witch Queen... that was me. Well, a clone, earth magic just like Mirai-chan use. But still me.

Did you think it was a coincidence that I crashed there, right in front of you, at that exact moment? No. I felt my clone perish. I felt you there, through its fading senses. And I used the very last of my strength to rush to that spot to protect the kind little boy who was talking to a piece of my soul."

“All… all this time… I was… I was thinking about you. And I… I didn’t… I didn’t even know. What... what else I don't know?”

"I like to sit on a rooftop at night and look at the stars, feeling completely insignificant. I like to laze around in pajamas all day when I have the chance. I make a terrible mess when I cook. I curse like a sailor when there's no one around to hear. I love card games. I had a terrible, expensive habit of betting on underdog horses at the races—the ones who always, always lost."

Her voice became very quiet, and very clear.

"I was not perfect, Shota-chan. The Pro Wizard Association created the 'Witch Queen' you say you love. They polished the image and hid the flaws. The title of Witch Queen, or Witch King... it is not something to be dreamed of, Shota-chan. It is nothing as great as you imagine. The only good thing that ever came from it, for me, was the smiles of the people I was able to save. That was my reward. Not the fame. Not the power.

To you, from the outside, it might seem like a dream come true. But when you finally reach that title, you realize it is just a dangerous, brutal line of work. Nothing 'great' comes from it. No lasting peace. Only a temporary holding back of the darkness. And eventually... eventually, your body will be broken. Just like mine.

So, listen to me. Do not make your life's goal to become the Witch King. It is not worth the cost. The government and the Pro Wizard Association will not see you as some hero. They will see you as an asset. A tool. They will control you, direct you to their needs. Your life will no longer be your own. You will be a symbol they use. And if you ever try to resist? If you ever try to break free from their control and use your power your own way? Then you just become the next villain on the news. Or worse, you end up in the archives.

Do you see it now? You don't know a single, true thing about me. How can you say you love someone when this is only our second real conversation? Shota-chan. You are mistaking admiration for love. And it's a very, very dangerous mistake to make."

His mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out at first.

"I... I... But... the records... your public profile... it said... Y-You... you never said... you never talked about green... or... or horse racing... But you're... you're the Witch Queen. You're supposed to be... you're... you're her."

“You know what, Shota-chan? I was there. From the very first day I sealed myself inside you, my voice couldn't reach you, but my awareness could. I saw you. Every second. All these past 10 years. I watched you in your sleep, trapped in your nightmares. And I watched the one person who never, ever left your side.

The one you should confess your love to is not me, but the person who stayed by your side for the past ten years. The one who sat outside your locked door for hours, just talking, even when you never answered. The one who came to your empty apartment every single day to make sure you had a meal, even if you just stared at it. The one who spoon-fed you when you lost all will to eat.

The one who fought off every bully who tried to pick on the ‘weird, quiet kid.’ The one who did your homework for you when you couldn't get out of bed, just so you wouldn't fall behind. The one who dragged you outside on sunny days, forcing you to feel the sun on your skin, even when you fought her every step of the way.

The one and only person who still believed, with every fiber of her being, that the bright little boy she met before the tragedy was still in there, that you could come back. The one person who was there when your own parents decided their work overseas was more important than their broken son.

Does this remind you of someone, Shota-chan? Hmmm? Let me help you. Her name starts with ‘M’ and ends with ‘ai.’ But you’re probably too wrapped up in your own self-pity to even figure that out, so I’ll spell it for you.

Mi…
A spoonful of soup, held to your lips when you refused to eat.
…ra…
Her hand, dragging you out of your dark room into the sunlight you hated.
…i.
The future. She is your future, Shota. She has always been. While you were building a shrine to a ghost, she was building a life for you. You were so busy worshipping a memory, you didn't see the future begging you to live in it with her. It’s Mirai-chan. The one person offering you a tomorrow. Not someone like me—a beautiful, polished yesterday.

She is the one you should be saying those words to. Not someone like me—a stranger you’ve built a fantasy around, a ghost you haven’t even truly met.”